Moderation what does that word mean im all or nothing .it’s only taken me 20 years,4 detoxes ,3 overdoses,to come to the understanding I can’t do any kind altering drug or drink in moderation.personel view.
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Oh, I hear you there. I tried that for years. After I tried the 1 glass of wine a night and it ended up being 2 or maybe 3, oops a bottle. Well then I tried 1 glass every other day or just on weekends. So I switched from the red wine to white. That worked for a bit as well, til it didn’t. There is more…I tried all that bargaining and moderating for years and years trying to figure out how I could drink. I never really looked at why I thought I needed to, other than everyone was and so I should too and it was just the way life is. It was REALLY hard for me to give up that idea that drinking was relaxing or a stress relief. I have no answers, but I know all that didn’t work for me. Eventually I would wake up from a blackout again and vow x-y-z and begin the cycle again. What a hamster wheel of a life.
That is simply my experience, you have your own of course 
I wish you happiness and health.
I will add that since becoming sober, I no longer have to think about drinking anymore or how I can do it successfully. My brain was pretty filled with all that for a very long time, so it is 100% a relief to no longer have all that anxiety and questions rolling around in my head. 
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Abstinence is the only 100% guarantee. I tried moderation as my alcohol abuse became problematic. Sometimes I actually stopped at one or two, but sometimes I didn’t. This evolved to sometimes I couldn’t. The odds of me getting drunk increased with every drink I took.
Fools weigh the odds. The wise weigh the stakes. The only odds I will weigh when it comes to alcohol are 100%, because the stakes are my life, and everything that makes it worth living. So I go with the “sure bet”: I won’t drink, because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker.
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Oh that’s so good! I put a quote on my bathroom mirror…its been 244 days since I changed it…I know what’s going up today! Thank you.
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Do you think about that glass of wine during the day time? Are you sad when it’s gone and can’t have anymore?
Sure i could totally moderate if i drank today but i would instantly be thinking about the next time i could moderate and before i knew it I’d be drinking and driving 86 miles home everyday.
I tried moderating, i guarantee almost every single recovering alcoholic has. If you can moderate and your not obsessing about alcohol while doing it you are not an alcoholic. If alcohol is heavy on the mind while attempting moderation it’s a big red 
.
I wish you well
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Another thread discussing this…
Such a great topic!!! And certainly something many of us have pondered and worked on and thru over the years.
We haven’t heard from the OP @AllWhy in some time…I hope you are well and enjoying life!! Pop in and catch us up? 
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Well aren’t you the lucky one. Alcohol is not a bad thing and many people drink without a problem but there are those of us who are ill, we have an over powering obsession to put pretty much any kind of shit in our body and not know why we can’t stop. We don’t know the answer bc we don’t understand the question, are we asking not to enjoy it are we asking to stop it are we asking to moderate it, like I said it’s not a bad thing and we don’t have to change it. What we have to change is ourselves, I don’t pick up to party I don’t pick up to be the centre of attention and give me courage I don’t drink to be social or funny, I’m none of these when I drink I’m lonely and quiet. At the moment though I’m able to sit with myself and be comfortable with that, I’m alone right now but I’m no longer lonely, I’m not searching for the answer any more bc I’m living it. I am the solution, we are the solution. If you can moderate like my Mrs can bc she’s not ill then you won’t even believe that the problem exists. She doesn’t need to ask the question ‘is it OK to moderate’
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Technically alcohol isn’t a “good” thing either. Any given person would be better off without consumption. If we see alcohol as good some will feel like we’re being deprived. The only thing that suffers from abstinence are the judicial system and alcohol companies😉.
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it’s not a bad thing, it doesn’t jump off the shelf and pour itself down our throat but I get your point.
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It is actually poisonous to our bodies, like cigarettes, vaping and such. Now Marijuana and medicinal benefits, that’s a whole different story. A key to my sobriety is perception. Just my 2 cents.
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I’m not disagreeing with you at all but your defending your own word, I never once said it was good.
Hi Dan. No, I don’t think of a glass of wine during the day at all, nor am I sad when there is no more. I’ve never been a person to wake up and drink.
I’m over a year myself. I can’t do moderation. I tried and tried before Plus, it doesn’t work. It’s a ni e thought but it pans out. I know from experience. Plus, I wouldn’t want to give up those days I have. Best of luck in whatever decision you choose.
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I do believe the problem exists in general. I’ve experienced a friend who died from drinking themselves to death. He went to Betty Ford and the works. I also have been around a person who has been put through rehab at his partner’s expense, with no sense of responsibility or accountability for his actions.
That’s great that alcohol isn’t a problem for you, some people just get it a rut and are problem drinkers for a little while and grow out of it. Wish you the best.
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I set up so many drinking rules for myself. When they didnt work, i modified them. Good luck! I pray it turns out better for you
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Thanks, Dan. I will not go as far as to say it’s never been a problem for me, since I had decided to abstain for 90 days as sort of a disciplining of myself due to something that happened (loss of a relationship), I wanted to seize control of it, because this was right around when the lockdowns were starting up too. I vowed I would not go wallowing in the misery of the loss and the forced isolations.
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Thanks, Sassy. Your advice is definitely appreciated and I will keep it in mind.
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I’ve been pondering this subject today… It made me wonder, is it possible to be addicted to being sober. This could be the physical euphoria of sobriety the feeling of control or any of the other benefits. I have found myself focussing a hell of a lot on sobriety since trying to quit which is obviously going to happen but I kind of feel that drinking is still running my life to a certain degree but this time it’s avoiding it.
I have an addictive personality for sure… So I personally think if someone is able to drink in moderation then that’s great but as many many people are saying it’s a lot easier said than done.
I don’t think this is a one size fits all situation.
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I hear what you are saying and I have pondered this myself off and on over time. I don’t want to derail this thread, but I do know that there was a time when sobriety was all encompassing for me and that at some point I tired of having to think about it all the time. Over the course of my recovery (3.5 years), sobriety is no longer in the forefront of my mind…however, I am still here at TS moderating and participating (giving back to some extent), so it is more in my mind than it would be if I were no longer on TS (if that makes sense…I don’t follow a program). I often think that the time is close for me to let TS go and see how that feels. But of course I seem to still be here. All things take time for me.
And I do agree that we each must travel our own path. 
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