The reaction to another poster got me thinking about something. It can take a long-ass time to realise moderation doesn’t work. And maybe some people just aren’t there yet. I am not even sure I have got the message 100% yet.
I started drinking 20 years ago. 5 of those years I was ttc, preggo, or bf-ing and sober. Another 5 I was young and binge-drinking and not even trying to be sober. So ten years trying. Sometimes I tried and succeeded for weeks. Sometimes I tried and failed many times in one week. I think saying 3 times a month would be as good a estimation as any. So 360 times I tried moderation and failed, and still didn’t learn 
.
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Twice. The first time I was sober for 2 weeks and thought to myself “A couple wont hurt”. Within 7 days I was back to heavy drinking. Second time I wasnt ready to even attempt moderation - within 2 months I was back to taking cocaine, heroin, smoking weed and drinking from the moment I woke up to the moment I passed out.
Safe to say, moderation isnt for me.
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Moderation does not work for me. Closest I get is NA beer.
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For me I’ve tried the moderation, every time it ended the same and I drank more than I bargained for. The choice is yours, I just found it hard to contain myself and the more I drank my resolve didn’t last or weakened.
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I bought my wife a breathalyzer to use on me if she gets suspicious (my idea not hers). I got so good at faking moderation that people remarked on how well I was doing. Total bullshit, I just got good at only drinking moderately in front of people…then finding new ways to sneak alcohol into my house. Lots of little “errands” that I pretended were legit. Drunk me doesn’t tell the truth about alcohol.
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I tried to convince myself at least 20x over the past 30 years that I could drink moderately. I guess this time I’m just too tired to believe my BS anymore.
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Oh, I am totally team teetotaller now. I just think that working out the numbers helps understand how some people think wonder if is ok to drink on a special occasion, etc. Maybe they are still at no 99 or something. Maybe my post sounded like I am on the fence about sobriety, I am not. Just after tripping so many times feel like I have no right to say this time is different (I feel it is, but have felt that before)
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Theres nothing wrong with saying “this time is different” - You just have to commit to it and do it differently.
Take the things you already know:
Drinking is not working for you
Moderation doesnt work for you
If someone offers you a drink and you dont want it, dont take it.
If temptation is really strong, (and it will be), just remember “I don’t drink”.
If you have a tough day at work, “Drinking wont make it better”. And there are going to be more tough days at work; so long as you can accept that, just remember “I dont drink”.
It might sound daft but in all seriousness, practice saying it to yourself over and over and itll eventually start to feel good saying it. 
Edit: My point being, if you crave, these little differences in how you think will make up the big differences in how you drink.
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Oh I often tried to moderate, but it never worked. It’s like a switch in my head that only knows “on” or “off”, nothing inbetween. Even now that I’m more than 2 years sober I think about having one or two drinks includin all the “it won’t hurt” discussion in my head. My collegues have booze at work and drink some from time to time 
It annoys me and it’s an every day fight. But I know that I would be back at heavy drinking in a week so: no. I won’t try again.
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I tried it like 16-17 times… I felt obligated due to social situations and family.
I finally decided, fuck em… if they don’t wanna do what I wanna do, hiking, but get upset when I don’t always wanna drink, then it was a one sided relationship.
I noticed there’s no such thing as a moderate drinking, it’s just non drinkers ( this includes people who drink a glass once a year), alcoholics and alcoholics who are either in denial or don’t know they are alcoholics.
We are alcoholics because we know we drink too much.
My family drinks every single damn weekend till they black out, but they wake up without regret, they are alcoholics who don’t know they are alcoholics or simple don’t care they are.
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When I drank, I never intended to drink too much. It was always just “go in for a shot and a beer”, and always turned into much more. Every time I bought a bottle of wine, I never intended on drinking the whole thing, and I certainly never intended on driving to the store to buy more. Every time I drank I intended to drink in moderation, but it never worked out.
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I think I tried moderation many times, like in at least 10 or so serious attempts.
Because it wasn’t working I quit drinking. I was sober for 5 years and thought I was “cured”. So I tried moderate drinking again and…failed.
Story of my life.
But this time I’ve learned I guess. I quit again and I’m sober for 16 months now.
I know two things for sure: me and moderation can’t go together and me and alcohol can’t go together.
Lesson learned and moving forward.
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I have tried it bout 5 years ago… It’s a joke.
Moderation means slipping into old habits within not time and lying to your loved ones while hiding the slip. Took me another five years of progressive using before I could stop using drugs.
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Tbh my addiction was way past moderation ,I had to use it all cost the more the better I was a greedy taker,
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I played the moderation game off and on for 6 or 7 years. It was a terrible waste of time when I knew the real answer all along.
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A looong time. The first few years of drinking, I was a student and it seemed like everyone around me drank. I didn’t question. I drank a lot, and I didn’t even try to cut back, even though I constantly had terrible hangovers. But then for the next 20 years I tried moderation. Sometimes I was truly kinda moderate, depending what counts. I quit totally during pregnancy, I cut down successfully for a bunch of periods. Now I realize even moderate or moderate ish drinking is really bad for me, physically and psychologically, and if I’m a drinker at all, I’ll likely sometimes drink a lot. So I’m not doing it at all ever.
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Damn that’s hard 
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I don’t actually think I ever TRIED moderation. It was quit, drink, quit, drink over and over and over again.
No wait…one time my husband did try to get us on a “moderation” plan. It was one drink a night during the week and 2 drinks a night on the weekend. We did it for a month and then “rewarded” ourselves with a new computer. But the thing is we just poured really big drinks…and was Friday they weekend? Was Sunday? It was so fuzzy. It was “better” than what we were (or I was) drinking before but it really wasn’t moderate drinking at all. And needless to say…after the one month it wasn’t long before I was back to drinking really bad again.
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Lord!! I tried moderation for years…a lot of years. I would only drink on weekends. Only red wine. Only white wine. Drink water in between alcohol drinks. Only drink top end vodka (easier hangover haha). Only drink 3 drinks (haha). Only drink 3 days a week. The list was endless what I would try to figure out how I could keep drinking.
It wasn’t until I was so desperately sick of myself and my hangovers and bad decisions…until I was in a very dark suicidal mind set that I finally FINALLY internalized that all the moderating and bargaining in the world was not going to miraculously cure my horrendous relationship with alcohol.
I am incredibly grateful to have put all that anxiety and trying to rest. I no longer worry about how to manage the unmanageable and I am at peace with my self. Very thankful for sobriety.
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Never just went to a meeting when i had the desire to stop
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