One of my definitions of codependency: basing my mood on how others feel about me or how others feel in general.
My biggest issues with this book right now, I’m having a hard seeing how my codependency came about because I didn’t really have alcoholic parents. My sister’s drinking was crazy for about 8 years in my 20s and she was emotionally, physically, verbally abusive towards me growing up… She’d spit in my face, laugh at my failures, open doors in my face, we fought physically a lot until I got stronger than her.
Then in my 20s she wasn’t much better. Everything was always my fault. She started crying and getting angry at me on my wedding day, calling me a bitch and a terrible person… When I felt I needed to seperate from my husband she called me up drunk, saying I was selfish and going to ruin my kids lives.
One thing that keeps popping up in the book is guilt and not admitting our problems… Guilt is my BIGGEST codependency issue. And literally the whole time I’m reading the book, I’m like “no this couldn’t have been caused by my sister that is unfair to her, it didn’t affect me that much, I’m making a big deal over nothing…I should have gotten over this years ago”.