Thank you @Mno@Hopeful777@crystalclear for asking. I’m doing okay in that I’m not going to drink, and I have my essential needs of life met. Taking a real life pause for gratitude for that.
But I’m struggling with my mental state. I seem to swing between irritable and flat, with a lot of apathy and very little happy or sad. I haven’t had a chance to meet with my psychiatrist to discuss my recent med changes yet but that’s one of my suspects. I’m also feeling stressed and just “done” with things. I haven’t felt like I’ve had much positive or interesting to say.
But I know this isn’t forever and I’m mostly on the right track with things, so I just need to stay the course.
I’m struggling today. Day 24. The boredom is getting to me. I live in a city area and we are on stay at home orders. I had bad dreams last night about being held hostage. That sucked.
I have found myself bargaining all day, like, I’ll just have some vodka today and then go back to being dry, just one day. Ugh.
Day 541. Today’s been rough. Emergency dental work sandwiched between appointments for therapy and otherwise, followed by refreshed financial stress, and now I can’t seem to stop bleeding. I have stuff to do tomorrow as well but I’m hoping to take as much of the day as I can to recharge.
Oh no, I think I’m too late @I.cant.We.can.
Anyway, I.wish you the best while you’re away and can’t wait to hear all about it when you come back. Sending you big hugs Brian.
Coffee followed by work after a totally apathetic day off yesterday. Wet and grey outside, first time I really missed the gym. I suppose I have to get myself into exercising at home. Doing nothing is making me depressed. And being depressed sober makes me scared. I thought I cut out depression by becoming sober but that’s not how it works. I need to keep working my sobriety and my life. On we go. Three steps forward, two steps back. @Wunderbar Two years! Huge congrats Chad. Inspirational stuff. @ifs Keep going. Hope you see your psychiatrist very soon. @Misokatsu Hope your day is better than your night friend. @Paulaloha Yes the boredom can be a b*tch. Hang in there. @EarnIt One day at a time Jené. @everybody Have a good day all. Clean and sober. Love from Luna and me.
Well done for the two years @Wunderbar!!
Congratulations!
Day 590
I’m tired. I’m done with all the Corona rules.
I know they are needed, but I’m just done with it I do not like my life this way, and I can not see how long this is going to be this way.
I do not like my job during this pandemic. I feel like a schoolteacher asking the customers to do this and don’t do that. At 4 o’clock I’m exhausted but I work until 18.30.
Yesterday I felt angry about the situation all day. I know that’s not going to help. On the contrary.
I am my own solution, I have to change how I cope. But that’s so hard.
I would like to be in quaratine right now instead of working
Hey Menno, working out at home is a great idea. Or just go for a run outside in the rainy weather if that’s your thing. Moving your body gets you out of your head, but I’m sure you know that already. Take care, mate! That’s such a cute cat by the way.
I do not like my life this way, and I can not see how long this is going to be this way.
