I bought a new book the other day called, How to live life to the fullest, when I opened it it only had one page, it read “just be yourself” 
8 Likes
Hello and welcome, you’ll find great people and great advice on here, goal number one, just get to the end of each day put your head on your pillow and say thank you. 
1 Like
5 Likes
yeah so am I, though I do like @anon60334405 he always says what I’m thinking so you’ve been in good hands. 
2 Likes
them dreams are crazy, I go to bed now really excited about what I might see next. its so real, I even played lego in the freezer… WHY
1 Like
Almost brought some tears to my eyes there paul lol, but for real you guys always help me get through, and I’m glad I can do the same. Thank you, @Jane.c
5 Likes
Day 16
I thought my interview went well, should know in the next couple of days - it was more of a chat, the Manager seems like a really nice person so relaxed. I did not realise but the Train company is actually Dutch - Abellio trading as Greater Anglia Trains in UK!! So anxiously waiting for the outcome, would make a difference to know I was in work again.
@Conor689908 really good to hear 
@TeejLazer love that picture with Jett!
@Misokatsu hope you feeling better today
@BobIsGone good luck in your interview
take care @SoberWalker Claudia must be so frustrating!!! take care and stay safe…
@Jane.c, sleep when you want to, eat when you want to… don’t put any more pressure on yourself 
welcome @Sam22 wonderful place here to get support and learn
@Dolse71 your humour is top notch!
Have a safe, strong day all 
15 Likes
Day 30 here peeps 
15 Likes
I too have a lot of restarts. I really beat myself up about it. So I tried something to hopefully ease my mental anguish. I started a memo on my phone - date, # of days drinking, # days not drinking. Example: April 29, drinking 9, sober 20. It does help me feel better to see how many days I am sober even if they aren’t in a row. The goal is of course to have more sober days each month.
2 Likes
Checking in! Doing well today. I have found that I am replacing alcohol with exercise, but for now that is a really good replacement. It’s not obsessive, just helping me to keep my mind off of drinking. I feel so much happier when I work out. I’m so grateful to be here. My weight keeps fluctuating even tho I’m eating well, not drinking and working out. I realize that’s probably just temporary, plus I’ve been building muscle. I woke up a little confused today. I think I had a dream I was drinking or woke up hungover - then I woke up IRL and was like Wait…I’m NOT hungover. I feel great! For me to get up and go run right away the past two days is a HUGE feat for me.
12 Likes
Day 281. Sunny day yesterday, saw my dad before he headed back to Florida, good day overall.
Wake up today to the news of a good friend and fellow musician dying overnight. He recorded all three of my old band’s (Bulletwolf) albums…as well as countless other bands here in Indy. World traveler, solid drummer. No solid details yet, but signs are pointing to an overdose. Shit is weak. If this is the case, he’d been sober for a while, and had just started drinking again recently…and now this. It’s the exact same way their bass player went. The whole scene is gutted.
Here’s a heavy jam from them from a few years back. RIP to Bob (drums) and Jason (bass).
…and his old hardcore/metal band from the late 90s, Burn It Down. Bob (drums), Jason (bass)
Have a strong day.
12 Likes
I am disappointed and ashamed to say that I am checking in back at day 1. I am trying not to be too hard on myself, because I know that isn’t helpful, but the struggle is real.
Yesterday I convinced myself that drinking wasn’t my problem, but drinking a lot was. So, my new plan was to just have the odd drink here and there, but never enough to get drunk. Last night I did only have two drinks, but doing so reconfirmed that’s even minimal drinking doesn’t work well for me… As soon as the booze started to wear off my anxiety started coming back. (When this happens I feel like I have a lump in my throat that is just anxiety but freaks me the f out.). Then I slept like shit, waking up and feeling hungover. Today I feel depressed and terrible about myself. Even simple things like yoga and working out and calling my Nana seem too much to handle today.
It doesn’t matter whether I am drinking a little or drinking a lot. The fact is that acohol just doesn’t work for me.
I hope this will be my first day of many…
13 Likes
Checking in to hold myself accountable. I’ve not been sober and I think when I run out I’m going to give it a shot again. I’m very sick to boot, so now I need to self quarantine for at least two more weeks. They are opening us up here on May 8th, but I definitely don’t want to infect anyone. Stresses me out having to use the elevator. My mom is having masks delivered. I have a dog that needs to go out. Not being able to breathe makes the stairs a no go, especially being on the 17th floor 
I’m going to try to be better guys. Feeling like a let down. You all are so very special to me and I wouldn’t stand a chance without you.
13 Likes
Day 690
Now that I have the time, I’m going to get back to rewatching some of my favorite shows. I saw “The Sopranos” for the first time ever back in the autumn (yeah, I know) and loved it, so I’ve begun rewatching that, loving it even more this time around. Like “Mad Men”, it becomes less of a drama and more comedic in subsequent viewings. Getting sucked into a good show has been helpful.
Also, this morning, I forgot I had these bad boys in storage. Did my last watch through of this one about a decade ago, and its an all-time favorite long overdue for a rewatch. So thats next in line. See you guys in like 3 years.
12 Likes
Congrats! I had to go look up “RAAK”. Like, “What? Drinking fruit syrup?” You do add it to water?
1 Like
Keep trying!! I hope you feel better soon! Sobriety is wonderful for the immune system!
1 Like
I am back on Day 2. I don’t like to look at the number. I didn’t want to come back here, and yet, here I am.
Stay engaged. Feel better! Be carefule!
7 Likes
Checking in on Day 2. I slept like shit and feel hungover. I knew I would and it’s OK.
Just thinking about the first time I went to AA -1993. That didn’t end well and I ended up doing blackout drinking for quite awhile. I swore off hard alcohol for the most part in '98. I still did the occasional margarita or shots - but I stuck to beer and wine because I got tired before I got to blackout.
Fast forward to now: 6-9 beers a day, every day, except when I am working a program, which includes being here - every day. Tipsy, not drunk…but I hate it. There is no reason to check out of life, at least not if you ever want a better life.
At one of my darkest and lowest points, @Englishd, responding to someone else, said something to the effect of “You don’t want to die. You just don’t want to live like you’re living.” It stuck with me and it runs through my head a lot. I can’t change my life until I change my habits. Knowing that is the easy part.
8 Likes