day 269! not such a good day today. had a lot of thoughts about using, and had a slightly bad day at work. hoping tomorrow is better
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I’m anxious lately. Stress has been overwhelming me and I can’t seem to get much relief.
I’ve been good at keeping up with my daily gratitude list. But I still feel like I need to detox from stress, it’s been so bad, I’m not sure what to do really. I’m breathing and letting go and accepting that I’m just overwhelmed right now. But the feeling in my body is hard to accept I guess. And my mind feels like it’s racing and I’m starting to get that feeling of “everything must be done now” feeling. I’m aware of it… But it’s taking a lot of concious effort to snap myself out of it. Another big thing, I just don’t want to put in the work. I already feel like I have too much on my plate, adding anything that requires in depth thought is not going to help.
On that note, I think I’m burnt out on technology. I’m having to “run” my kids schedule through their online school programs, while simultaneously managing my work online. I guess me being on the internet right now is counterintuitive…I better get to bed. Venting helped, I’m grateful to have this platform. Thank you.
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40.98 Days
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Checking in day 3
I don’t feel so bad about myself today.
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283 Days: Still sober and still feeling good about that, but I find myself slipping in other ways. A little lost. Ever get the feeling that you couldn’t describe yourself? That’s kind of where I’m at, just going through the motions of living a life. Superficial is the best way I could describe it. As if I’m always wearing a mask, I’ve worn so many that I’m not even sure what I really look like anymore. But I am sober.
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Day 4 checking in
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Hang in there, it’s nice to hear from you.
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Day 40
I decided to see a psychologist for a certain anxiety problem that has caused me some intense problems for the past few months and I had my first appointment last Friday. He seems nice enough, though I’ve never been a fan of psychologists, because I have massive trust issues, but I thought… why not pay someone to listen to me talk about myself for an hour a week. I’m not sure how well it will go though because the platform he uses for the online visits is… Google Duo. Not a secure service like say, Signal. I’m not sure how well that will go. I really don’t trust Google. Shocking, I know, but still… I think I’m going to let him know that it may be difficult for me to open up about certain feelings if we are social distancing through one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
@Lisa07 Good for you! It’s important to take care of yourself! The chores can wait.
@M-be-free49 Glad to hear you made it home safely!
@Jennajen It sounds like you have a good councilor. ‘Hopeful’ and ‘content’ are great.
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Day 206. Awesome morning lift. 2 o’clock will be 1 day of no chew. I feel good about it this time, have a good day everyone
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- Finished my coffee. The kitchen ceiling and walls are done, now for the next move. Floor needs sanding and oiling. Heating pipes and radiator needs a paint job. And now I think my kitchen closets need some colour too. Well, again it’s one step at a time. Going to postpone a little by going to the DIY store first. Get some more DIY your stuff
. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from my kitchen.
@Lionfish Hope you got a good rest Lea. And things look a bit better in the morning. 275 is a great number. Congrats.
@Hidden I think it was around that time in my sobriety I started to feel like that too Chris. Took me a while to get out of it. Work it is the cliche that’s apt here. We laid the foundation of our new better lives by becoming sober, now we need to make the next step. Hard work but I promise you it’s worth it (I’m right in the middle of working it myself).
@Jennajen It makes me happy you’re hopeful and content!
@Chiron Exactly my problem with psychologists and psychiatry in general. They say a good trusting relationship between client and therapist is therapeutically more important than the actual knowledge of the therapist. Success.
@050Nl Enjoy your travels Joost. Be safe.
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Day 8 today
Feeling good after going out with my fiance last night for food and neither one of us touched the alcohol
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Checking in Sober on day 4 .I hope everyone has a good ,Sober Day✌🏻
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Checking in sober, Day 233. It is rainy today so I won’t be able to work outside on the house. Instead I plan on doing an online meeting this morning, getting some cleaning/organizing done, and having a chill day for a change. Hope everyone is doing well, and that those in the path of Laura are safe!
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Thank you, it has felt really good and I have really enjoyed it.
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Yes ma’am, will do!
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So great to hear! I’m glad for you! It seems you’ve got a good councillor 
You most certainly have hope sand you’ve already come far. So proud of you girl!
Day 3
Got a big project on at work that i need to roll out next week, but it’s all pretty daunting and i’m just procrastinating like nothing else today. Working from home makes it so easy to procrastinate haha.
Got asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend yesterday which was a really big surprise, so that was cool.
Saw one of my best mates last night and i was just updating her on how i’ve been trying to sort out my drinking over the past couple months. She told me she didn’t think my drinking was anywhere near as much of a problem as i think it is. I know there’s loads of reasons why people would have that view, and i know in myself that my drinking is a problem and i’ve been much happier in my stints without it, so i’m definitely going to continue trying to stay sober. It just kind of shocked me a little bit to hear that.
Just trying to get some motivation to go out for a run in a couple hours as the weather is finally getting back to normal.
Anyway i’m rambling/still procrastinating from work hah.
Hope everyone is ok
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Day 76 free from meth. Had several encounters from old friends this last day which triggered me, almost ended up scoring because of it. But chose not to. On the plus side I’ve just landed some work, and only 14 days till the big clean 90
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Glad to be back. I’m at 10 days and grateful for this community. I’ve been lurking! Gaining inspiration, hope and a sense that I’m not alone. Thank you to those of you who reached out and asked where I was or how I was doing, I see you and I’m grateful. I wrote about what’s been going on for those who might be interested. Dragging myself from the quagmire
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