Day 527. It’s training day, and my trainer is 78 years old. I think he is made out sawdust and rusty nails. Old school, no kiddie gloves or sensitivity awareness. I’m learning quickly! 
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Day 0 again. I should be honest
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Day 214~ Another day sober. Todays been super busy and a typical Monday. The stress of making sure the businesses are running like they should be and taking care of personal projects are really stacking up. Thank God I’m sober right now because this probably would have sent me over the edge. I’m now able to work through the stress and pressure without throwing down a half bottle of rum every night. I can’t believe I drank that much… I would have put Jack Sparrow to shame. 
It’s amazing isn’t it when you say out loud what you drank and how much and often? It almost seems unreal or as if I’m talking about someone else… nope that was me. I own it. I think it’s important to acknowledge and own our past; doing so it allows the present to be that much more sweeter. The feeling of growth and repairing your soul and self worth can truly be euphoric. 
It feels good to remember what it feels like to be alive.
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301 Days: Great day to be sober. Took the day off of work at went paddle boarding all day with a good friend at one of my favorite places. Was able to hike up the inlet to the reservoir and actually see Kokanee salmon spawning. Amazing day, so glad I am sober.
The video is a lot cooler, but it won’t let me upload it!
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Looks so peaceful what a great day! I’m kinda jealous life is beautiful sober isn’t? 
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Great to see you, Chris. Looks awesome.
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Great share. All of it so true.
Especially what I drank and how much. And I was that guy that just had to drink the most.
Just love your analogy.
I just couldn’t resist. I love to do movie quotes. Wifey and I quote our favorite movies all the time 
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Congratulations on your 80 days Cliff.
That’s great!! Sorry bout the house. Guess it just wasn’t meant to be, because there’s a better one out there for ya.
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Love those movies!
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I wish he’d do some fun stuff again. He hasn’t done much lately.
One of my all time faves
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I know he really hasn’t. 
Welcome! I think most of us are working on addressing major “imbalanced” balances! 
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Day 77.
Some new stuff today, hard stuff, came into my day and world. I couldn’t have imagined dealing with this sober, say even 3 months ago. I won’t lie, I thought of it tonight, drinking. Quite specifically.
There’s so much about drinking I don’t miss. I’ve done the sober bday, long weekends, bbq’s, camping trip, etc, and I’ve finished hard days and weeks at work without caving. I can easily say I’m glad I didn’t drink over any of those. But when some new kind of stress comes along, drinking still seems to be the first coping mechanism my mind reaches for, and then I feel sad and even a bit scared about how to cope without it.
And then I feel some failure for even thinking that way, but I know that’s not fair. I’ve had years of practice reaching for a drink, and 77 days of not. So let my mind reach for a drink, as long as it then says “nah, on second thought, wine, you’ve had your day. you’re worn out now.” That’s what I’m here to practice.
Eff, I hope this practice goes better than my childhood attempts to practice piano and ballet (see above re: failure ). What a true waste of my parents’ money!
G’night all. We get to do this again, tomorrow. 
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Checking in sober. Small confession, my sleep aid has alcohol in it, says it clearly on the front. I never noticed. I’m ok with it. I literally never take more than I should but I’m wondering if I should find an alternative. I used to take melatonin but it gives me crazy dreams, and my dreams are already a lot.
Still, I’m super happy to be sober and I’m doing the work to stay sober every day so it doesn’t bother me, but I didn’t want to keep it to myself.
Fun fact, this month my days match the date…9/14, day 914.
Also this quote really sums me up lately, better heed this advice lol
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Checking in on day 251. Yesterday was a tough day for me. I broke myself down. Felt horrible the whole day. I don’t really know how to ‘love myself’? How do you do that?
I was so close to heading over to a nightshop and buying some wine or beer.
I hope today will be better.
Have a good sober tuesday!
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D 35
Still reveling in yesterday afternoon. I had such a lovely time with a friend just having coffee, chatting and playing cards. Priceless.
Received good news from another long time close friend. She was proposed to and said yes 
We’re all super happy and excited. Yet, at the same time I can see really ugly things going thru my head. I’m Jealous. She’s stepping into a phase in life I’ve been longing to have for decades. It seems so unfair (I know it’s not but pls let me vent). With Jealousy comes Selfpity. If these two get to invite more of their friends, ladies and gentlemen, we have a shit show in our hands.
I KNOW what I’m supposed to think (her happiness is not taking anything away from me, you never know what life brings you, etc). I’m not convinced those things are true. This is where I really struggle against my addicted and depression prone mind.
Sometimes when I’ve been able to strip off layers of false conception I still find a lonely ocean of sorrow at the bottom.
@M-be-free49 I’m sorry to hear you’re going thru hard stuff. Your insight to where you’re at with that stuff in regards to drinking is a big deal. Well done not caving in! You’re a trooper and an inspiration.
Ps. While zooming some time ago I saw you and thought this gal must be a dancer/artsy person. You’re quite expressive with your face and body, I love it 
@Dazercat Happy trails Eric! That sounds like my kind of hiking
@Hidden Gosh, I wish was there too! Such a lovely scenery and weather! Where are you at?
@Jennajen I’m glad things worked out with the dog lady
@Lionfish There are alternatives for sleeping aids for sure. It wouldn’t do any harm to try if you’re iffy about the alcohol content? I have chronic sleeplessness and melatonin helps me zero.
Disclaimer for the internet: We’re different. Some find melatonin helpful. Good for you! 
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It’s great for a bit of focus and sharing, also some entertainment. All keeps your mind occupied!
At work at the minute, came in a bit early. Woke up about three times but back to sleep and three different weird dreams! Think the last time I slept straight through was when I was on the Librium during withdrawals and for a week after when I was tapered off the Librium.
Didn’t really like being on it though, was shattered and had a tough time focusing.
Still better than any amount of drunk sleep though
Have a great ‘whatever time of day it is with you’
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Day 45…
Feeling tired… Read a post on here that nearly made me do the wrong thing… I started browsing about the drug, found sites that had the drug… I even got to a point that I put it in the basket and got to the checkout… I started crying so close to breaking but it passed, I started thinking about the differences I’ve already made and reminded myself that I want to change more.
Just a mess right now and know I have to stay clean to not ruin the life I’m so lucky to still have!
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Godmorning, Thank you for your nice word.
I feel you, family gatherings isn’t always my favorite thing either. But here it isn’t optional. If J go to my parents house for a Fika, my Pa will start cooking dinner because if we got all the way to their house we might as well stay for dinner as well. And Ma wilk start calling all my siblings, my uncle and my cousins on her side to make them come too. And before we’ve got the time to blink the house will be filled with loud noisy relatives. Like in a movie. And when we’re in US everyone comes at once to because we’re only there for a limited time and everyone wants the chance to meet us.
Wouldn’t say that Pink is a gypsy color we’re just colorful overall. The romani flag is red, green and blue.
Yes, we have Lutfisk but I don’t eat it. There’s so much else to eat so I don’t have to. But my parents generation can’t imagine a Christmas without it.
The pickled herring stories was so nice to read, my Pa does his own new experimental pickles every year that he makes us try. It’s interesting, not always delicious
The Coronavirus have affected us here to, but if we’re perfectly healthy we’re allowed to meet up with family we usually hangs out with. And as I wrote above that usually means all of us. My aunt does live in another province but with today’s restrictions she’ll be allowed to travel in Sweden as well. We’ll see if it stays that way. I’m going to invite her anyway, before my grandmother passed away last summer they where spending most of their time with her and my uncles mother. They both passed away with about a week between. I can’t stand the thought of them being alone and excluded from family even if they’ve got another way of life. (not that we are poor, but we don’t act or behave anyway close to those kids)
I hope I didn’t miss any questions. And I really hope your day will be awesome. I’m having the day off today, no school. But I’m like 3 weeks after reading the course books so I’m about to start doing that. Get a haircut, write this weeks paper, hand in a new schedule to the after school club and a lot of other things.
But right now I’m watching 80s classics on VH1 procrastination at its best
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