Always nice to see you checking in @ChicagoT
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Thank you my friend. I miss coming here as much as I did early on, and feel like I need to lately…
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959, another busy day. Finally letting go of some things I was trying to control. It was making me feel terrible really. But it was my problem I kept allowing to happen. Weird how we go in circles re living the same mistakes…I read a good quote lately about this. Usually people would say this habit can be defined as insanity “doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results”. But this quote redefined this habit…
Breaking out of these bad habits that are so deeply ingrained is really hard but it’s worth it.
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Well done Tom!! Well done!
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Day 80
Getting closer to 90! Feeling strong in sobriety, but weak in other areas. Binge-eating, procrastination, irritation. I am doing what I must do, but not really much beyond. Which makes me feel dissatisfied. It is up to me to fix it, which makes me feel pathetic and crappy.
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Day 774 
Goodmorning! Having this week off from work. Started to run again, but in babysteps…I was a runner for like 10 years ago. Could run half a marathon but messed up my knee pretty bad.
Have tried to run again multiple times, but couldn’t. Now my goal is to run 5 km in the end. A small goal to others, but a big one for me!
I would be so pleased if I could reach that goal!! 
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Some nice numbers. Still going strong. Some difficult times ahead: Homeoffice, lockdown and winter ahead. Havent left the house since sunday and to be honest with no hope that this will change before April 2021 or so - but very grateful and sober
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I always find it interesting how I get so much value from having the same (or similar) realisations and breakthroughs even when they feel quite familiar. I hadn’t thought about it like that, that we fall back into the same patterns we have conditioned ourselves into. That really makes sense though… And a reason to feel proud every time we have the same realisations. We are re-conditioning the habits of a lifetime!
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Day 98 booze. Day 11 pills
Woke up sober. Remaining sober
Have a good day
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90 Days
Of feeling alive…
90 Days
Of expressing myself
90 Days
Of no self harm
And 90 Days
Free of drugs and Booze…
I use to wake up pissed off to be alive.
Now, when I wake up clean & sober, I’m greatful that my HP
Allowed me to survive!
We all have a story to share!
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Day 296.
Dark clouds gather over Europe.
Terrorist attacks in France. France went in lock down today.
Belgium is facing it’s 2nd lockdown. Today our government is making a descicion on another complete lockdown or not.
Our hospitals are flooded and can’t take the pressure.
We are all getting scared here. Seriously.
I’m still sick at home. Feeling a bit better and really reflecting on my life and actions.
Up until today I felt that my friends who are the same age as me could stay positive and not get scared. But that changed. We are scared.
To me it feels like we’re looking at the apocalypse.
It’s pretty though to stay sober in these times. Shit is just to real and scary.
Anyway. I hope you’re having a good friday where ever you are.
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Happy birthday @Tommo !!
That’s a beautiful age and I admire you for celebrating it sober!
Have a good day man!
90 days AF. Gratitude is growing, time is flying and life is for living. Happy days everyone😊
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Getting 2 cats last year was one of the best things I ever did 
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150 days is incredible Donna! Way to go!! Keep on putting the work in, you are so worth it. Sending some good vibes you way!!!
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- Coffee. Taking my commute bike across town to have it serviced in a moment, and will walk back home. As long as it doesn’t rain too hard it’s the perfect weather for it. Nice way to get back into hiking.
It’s an incredible read here this morning. Happy and sad, strolling and struggling, celebrating and mourning. Thanks so much for sharing all of you. You give me lots of energy. Honestly. Have a great day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam where it seems this morning Luna is trying to tell me something by showing me the way into the kitchen.
@anon79808082 Congrats on 150 dear Donna! Time flies friend.
@ChicagoT Big congrats on 700 Tom! Very nice to see you. Sorry you are struggling. Hope to see more of you in this safe haven. It helps.
@M-be-free49 Let me tell you I LOVE your writing. You make me smile and laugh while telling a sad mad story. Now there’s a gift lady. Your writing will take you places.
@Misokatsu Try to do something small for yourself Flo. One small thing. And keep going. You are absolutely on the right road. Hugs.
@Hotic
!!!
@lionfish I’m reading the handbook on schema therapy I will start in 4 weeks time (lockdowns permitting). This is exactly what it is all about. Really.
@anon27760155 Three months of freedom Danni!!! So happy for you lady. Excellent work. You are a BIG inspiration. To me and I am sure to all here.
@Tommo Happy sober birthday Tom!
@Jonachav123 Scary times yes. We’ll get through them. Together. Good you are here. Keep sharing.
@Cler Big congrats on three months Cler!
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I know this feeling. Lockdown sucks, but it is for our safety. I don’t know, how does it affect you financially, if you can work from home or not, but we don’t have other option than trust the state or good luck, that it will be over soon.
If you stay at home, you have done everything you could for the cause. Try to focus on stuff you can control in your life. Try to communicate as much as possible with open-minded friends via skype or phone, don’t isolate yourself. European politics is a crap nowadays, you can switch off social media and news portals to have a bit of breath. Don’t think big, just do what you have to, focus on your tasks. It will be over.
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Day 726 alcohol, almost 6 days caffeine. I am fantasising about having a cup of decaf and looking forward to it.
I just went bouldering for more of an hour as it is next door which is sooo cool.
I called my grandma and I don’t know what to think about her. I had these topic during therapy in July when my psy asked me for how would I put others feelings in front of mine. So, she called me last night before I was heading to the movies and just say that I don’t have time atm. Ah, OK, are you going aloooooooonnnneeeee?? Hmm, yes. Ohhhh, myyyyyy goooooood, you don’t have anyone??? Hmmm, no.
So I was already pissed as she is so sensitive as a bulldozer. I could write a depressing novel about her. I don’t like her and saying that makes me feel really guilty. My brother says, then don’t call her. Yes, he is right. But the constant voice, she is almost 90,you don’t see her often (as I avoid my mom atm and it’s essentially for them I visit my kome town). You cannot be rude, be nice, you don’t know how long she will be her. But i feel that I am far away from letting her being the person she is and still loving her. I am not able.
Sorry, for being so long.
Then, I had another thought while climbing. Compared to sobriety. When I first started it was easy, the easy routes. But it takes a lot of force and energy as there is no technique. I am exhausted quickly. I watch the others climbing and learn. Soon am thinking, wow this looks easy. Try it. Hell, this is not at all easy. This takes time. Trial, force, endurance.
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