Day 305.
Man am I in the mood for some cold beer.
I’m craving pretty bad right now…
This check in does help!
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Try to find something what gives you some immediate delight: some sweet or soda if you like it, or order your favorite food. Don’t think about finances or diet now, defeating the craving is priceless.
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Definitely what @Tomek says. This is when I had a bottle of flavoured sparkling water around. Generally all I needed was rehydration.
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Checking in sober, Day 305. Today makes 
months!! 
The last time I tried sobriety it made it to just over 4 months before succumbing to my old ways, so being at 10 months this is HUGE! The difference has been in letting go: of my focus on Self, of my expectations, of my resentment over “why me”, of seeking to escape rather than facing up to Life when things get hard or don’t go my way. I still have issues with the God thing, but I do pray & meditate each day and that helps. I can see 1 Year on the horizon. Holiday parties and New Year’s still remain to be faced if I am to achieve this milestone but for once I feel I can do this! Thanks, TS, for being there and helping me do this!
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Checking in on day 81. That’s officiall the longest I’ve ever been sober since I started drinking at age 15. Pheeew. This time sobriety is so different than my countless other tries. I focus very much on myself and not on how it might look to others (the one positive thing about COVID?).
I read a lovely post of one of you (can’t remember who 
) about how walking 10.000 steps a day helped them through early sobriety… I’ve been doing that religiously for 2 weeks now while listening to sobriety material and it helps a great deal. It’s also nice to have a routine.
After internalizing so much, my next goal is to start talking to others. Don’t get me wrong, I talk A LOT (in German even more 
), but I never ever talk about myself or what’s really going on inside. I’m used to dealing with everything on my own, so bottled up feelings are a big part of why I drank. Nobody knows my battles, so nobody can help. I need to learn to open up, after almost 30 years of not talking about myself. Sigh. That’s my biggest fear. I really don’t want to bother anyone. Oh boy. Telling friends I have an alcohol problem gives me anxiety, but I need to move foward. I’ll do baby steps and hold myself accountable 
thanks for reading.
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Opening up to others is a problem for me as well. I also don’t want to bother anyone and think, that my problems and thoughts are not really valuable for others, I should deal with them alone. But somewhere in my mind I know, that it’s not how it is. Friends and acquaintances can connect to me only if they know me.
Don’t think about it as telling a “secret” or sharing the “shady side of you”. It’s about having trust in others and giving them a fuller, deeper you, letting them know you better. These acts can be the foundation of real friendships and unbreakable bonds.
Sharing your thoughts here is a great help. It is a safe place, where you can experience how healful and therapeutic it is to open up.
If it’s scary to speak about your addiction to friends, you can try to write them about it or just open up first with other topics and after experiencing their acceptance, come up with more sensitive ones.
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Day 107 alcohol. Day 20 pills
In the last few months I’ve had a number of emotional tests - anniversary of dad’s death, new cancer diagnosis for mom, pandemic work stress, a new baby and the associated sleeplessness and disruption of healthy routines. It does feel however that by avoiding the crutch of alcohol I am building this muscle, learning that I can cope with life without numbing or escaping reality through alcohol or sedatives. For this i am thankful, but also I am reminded to remain vigilant.
Have a nice weekend, y’all.
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That’s great - being mindful of your thoughts as they arise like this is such a powerful tool. The irrational mind will always try to talk you into using, be it through romanticising or any other means, so being vigilant and able to intervene with your rational mind is wonderful! Well done on your ongoing journey 
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I had a three week long dark cloud just around 70 days or so. I also wanted to self destruct. Occasionally it was a case of white knuckling it, but usually just basic distraction until I got my head in a better place. I didn’t self destruct and the mood changed and now I’m so grateful I hung in there. So… hang in there
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Day 149 clean and sober today. Yesterday was my day off and besides doing some laundry I slept off and on on the couch all day and then went to bed around 6:30pm!! I guess my mind and body needed the rest lol I didn’t realize I was so tired. Tomorrow will be 150 days clean and sober which is 5 months according to the days but my sobriety date is the 13th. Not sure which one I should celebrate so I’m planning on celebrating both lmao. Hope everyone is having a great weekend, love you guys!!! 
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Yes, I feel exactly the same. It’s nice to actually look at a few weekends with nothing planned on the calendar (I realise this would be awful for some people so maybe it’s more an introvert thing, or just a sign of a soul that needs some rest and peace). I think it has taught me the importance of living life on my own terms rather than always doing what’s expected of me by others, and I hope to take that insight into the post covid world
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- Not sure what’s on the agenda today, going to get a jog in. Hanging out with the girls, probably get the house cleaned up. Listening to some tunes. Have a strong day everyone… Edit accidentally said 280😁
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Checking in. I felt a big mood slump last night. Longing for a drink. But I ate two Klondike bars instead. Feeling more positive today. I just need to keep remembering, whatever my mood, alcohol doesn’t make life better.
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Being open and honest with others is difficult for me as well. From my inventory, I’m aware that this is influenced by my Fears - of being judged, of not being liked, of being abandoned, of being in trouble and punished… Early in recovery, I twisted the idea of letting go of Self to justify my not being more open. “To be sober we need to let go of ego, and isn’t talking about ourselves being egotistical?” I told myself. I’ve now come to realize that with sharing comes healing. It is freeing to stop hiding those secrets inside, and many times people don’t react by judging me negatively but by understanding and offering support. I’ve still got a long way to go in practicing this new openness, but I’m working on it and getting better. And every time I face those fears I find they get smaller. So no, you aren’t bothering anyone! We’re here to help you with your “baby steps” (as you’re here helping us with ours)!
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That’s awesome. Well done on your eighty-one. 
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I think I’m having a bit of a hard time adjusting both to the election and coming up to a year sober. It’s all good but ta a sense of change after a long wait and that can be hard to adjust to. A bit like post natal depression, or baby blues. I have three daughters, I was thrilled when they were born, but also overwhelmed by sadness. I feel a bit like that: overwhelmed, relieved to be here but borderline sad too, which doesn’t exactly make sense but it’s there.
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Day 62: I’ve mentioned a few times about how sharing with people close to me about my problems with alcohol has led others to share that they have questioned their own drinking habits. Most notably my husband. Last night we were celebrating the projected outcome of the election, and talking about the future, about how things got to where they are today, both on a societal scale and a personal one. I remarked on how 4 years ago we watched the outcome of the presidential election with horror, that sick in your gut feeling, and things have been a rollercoaster on both scales ever since. After being hired into a permanent position the year prior (having worked as an engineering contractor for this company for several years) and finally feeling settled in a career, he was laid off in December 2016. Starting that new year of 2017, life turned upside down and took us for a bumpy ride, much like the new administration did for the country. There were laughs along the way as we tried to stay positive and make light of things, and also some beautiful moments with family, but I was leaning more and more heavily into drinking as coping with stress and uncertainty. Last night we talked about how things are looking up, me being sober is better for me, sooooo much better, and as such so much better for us. Eric said, “Now that we aren’t playing competitive binge drinking anymore, we can actually have fun together and live life.” I couldn’t have said it better. We have committed to becoming more civically engaged because we want to be a part of helping our society heal and improve, too (well, he has a new interest and I am recommitting). He has been making more and more statements (again) about how much he drinks and even though to me it’s not an excessive amount and manageable on my side of things, that’s not the point, is it. It makes me happy to have these conversations with my guy again. These deep talks are and were foundational to our relationship, from the very beginning, and I’m grateful for it.
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