Day 303. Actually woke up feeling very tired, very lethargic. Not sick, but super fatigued drained. Depressed feeling, w.e is what it is
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Woke up clear on my 10th day without alcohol. I have been running 3 miles per day and it feels great. I could not do this while drinking.
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Ahh buddy. Sending positive thoughts your and chiefs way Tristan.
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Day 173 clean and sober today. I have thought that I might have had BPD for a long time because the symptoms are so right on the money for me but therapists in the past when Iāve brought it up have pretty much laughed and said no you donāt because I am not showing outward signs. Well Iām not sure exactly where I heard it but someone mentioned Quiet BPD so I looked it up. Man thatās exactly me in a nutshell 100%!!! Quiet BPD is the same as regular BPD but instead of the symptoms being seen outward theyāre all turned inward on the self. Thatās a horribly short definition but I think you got the idea and wow, what a trip!!! We are the best ones to know what weāre going through inside and Iām glad I found this out. Iām looking forward to seeing my new therapist after I heal from surgery and advocate for myself so that I may be able to start DBT and other therapies that can help me. Thank you so much for being here you guys, love you!!! 
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Awe omg Iām so sorry to hear this 
Iām praying for you and Chief. I hope you caught it early and heāll make a full recovery. 
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Iām praying for Chief and Iām praying for your peace, Tristan. I will include you in my morning prayer today and any other day I can remember. Iāll keep positive thoughts in the universe. 
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To be alcohol free has become a fixture for me. Itās generally pretty accepted that I donāt drink in my social circles, Iām pretty open about my sobriety (even though no one thinks or believes I had a problem with drinking but how would they really know? ). I drink alone most of the time lol, all of the time. I used to have a pretty expensive relationship with weed as well. I quit smoking before I quit drinking but I will say that in the past few months I have indulged in weed edibles every so often āto relaxā and I can genuinely say that itās nothing I have a problem with as far as over use or abuse of it. However, I more recently caught myself go through a whole bottle of 20 edibles in a month, which is definitely abuse. So, Iāve obviously quit and wonāt be purchasing anymore (recreational THC is legal in Massachusetts). I guess I was coping with my depression over the past few months and Iāve somewhat come to the realization that they were possibly causing my depression. Much like how alcohol fucked with my mental health, especially the following day. Iād wake up sooooooo depressed after drinking, even if it was only 1 glass. I wonāt need to create a counter for this because weed is something thatās always been very optional to me, not my DOC. However, Iām done with it in all forms, including edibles. Just wanted to throw that out into the universe.
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Thoughts and prayers go out to you and Chief. Like sobriety, take this one day at a time. Worrying and thinking the worst will not do either of you any good.
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Love to you both. Iām saying a prayer for him rn.
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Heard this while watching TV last night: āNobody gets to have all they want in life but all in all I think I did pretty goodā. I so want to be someone who can say this and mean it!
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Definitely keep advocating for yourself! And definitely find someone who is trained in DBT. It changed my life, now I am a DBT evangelist! Haha
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Same. I figured I can either curl up and read a book or do the opposite of what I feel and do dishesā¦tbh I will end up doing both.
Be easy on yourself today.
Thank you I will for sure!!!
Wowza. Congratulations on your 300ā¦ This is awesome. Great work 
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Checking in on day 40. All is good. 
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Checking in. 11 months without any fucking booze !!
DANG IāM WORTH IT!!
And so are YOU 
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I am solidly here today. I am going to look out of my window and enjoy the snow. I am also going to try to not numb out today. I definitely need a friend today.
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Congratulations!!! 11 months woot woot 
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Shit. Shit, thatās terrible news. Iām so sorry. Nothingās lost yet, Chiefey is still here. Itās tough when you donāt know for sure but hope is ever present. Hugs for you both
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So sorry to hear about Chief. I just bet you caught it early enough and they can remove it and everything will be fine. We had to go through this with Minnie 2 summers ago. They had to cut her up twice because they didnāt get all the margins the first time. It was the worst!! I really do feel Chief is young and you caught this early and everything is going to be fine. It really sucks though. Sorry you have to go through with this.
You guys will definitely be in my prayers. Any chance you got an oncologist for him? Donāt know if thatās in your budget or time frame or you got any specialty vets in your area but it really helped for us.
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