Happy and grateful to wake up sober
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Day 357. Staying and doing some squats at the gym after work with the safety officer so should be a fun session. I have a good friend getting out of jail February 9 th. I messaged his mom Saturday asking when he got out and to plz have him get ahold of me right away, I was hoping we could hang out and help keep him in the right track. She said yes, but my other friends Pat and dyl were going to pick him up, so I already know my plan is out the window. I know dyl is gonna have shots ready for him. At the end of the day there is nothing I can do anyways. If he wants to do better thats on him, I was hoping a year in jail and losing his kid would set him straight and want to do better. But at the end of the day the only person who can make you want to do better is yourself. It did hurt my feelings a lil bit that they haven’t seen him in a year and are ready to go pick him up and be best friends and have kept in touch this whole time he was in jail. And I’ve been here this whole time and neither one of them has even said anything to me this whole year. It’s that little tricky part of my mind that tries to make me feel sad for being alone. But its because I out grew them. So idk have a good day everyone
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 148
My friend survived, she’s on her way home for what I know. But it’s going to be a long and hard recovery for her. I wish I could just hop on a plane and go help out. But I can’t.
Tweenie situation seems endless, more meetings with social service, who tries to investigate why the other counties social services just dumpes her here, without a plan. Meanwhile we’re not getting any help because no one wants to do more than they need if it ain’t their responsibility. Kid’s psychiatric hospitals have booked s meeting next week to look over the dosage on the meds that’s still the same and still doesn’t work. Besides that they’re saying that it’s the social services problem. Do we’re back at square one without any support anywhere. We’re short on money for the house, and for everything else. And our before so happy and kindhearted 9 y/o foodie, refuses to eat, or talk or even be at home saying that he doesn’t feel well. I totally understand him, none of us does.
I skipped school today again, and thinking about quitting for real. I’ll see if I can catch up on today’s classes that’s luckily recorded but it’s almost impossible to keep foci on anything for now.
I hope y’all had a wonderful weekend, happy Monday everyone 
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Checking in January 25 2021
Hello beautiful friends you should be very very proud of yourselves for achieving the milestones you have its amazing how far youve come remind yourself LIFE what else do you have ? is that it is that really it ? IAM A KING IAM A QUEEN IAM A FIGHTER and anything life throws at you is NOTHING I REPEAT NOTHING ! You have developed strength and a will power that overcomes anything and moves mountains go after whatever it is in life you want chase your dreams chase your lifechase the good the beautiful the stars always remember your wrth every bit of happiness have a good one 
LETS GOOOO
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Wohoo, congratulations to the interview. I hope it all goes well.
I’m looking forward to spring too, the days gets longer but not long enough and it’s still really cold. Our snow keeps melting and getting back all the time. I’m so ready for some sunshine, flowers and warmer weather.
I know the feeling, and yep it’s probably the same. I prefer cold and frozen with No snow wintertime. But mostly I claim that I’m not made for this cold and darkness and that the Baby Delivery Bird accidentally dropped me here on his way to Florida 
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Day 290. I hope everyone has a blessed day
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I still call my 9 y/o Baby Anthony he’s not thrilled with it and my 18 y/o is Little Banana (she’ll probably be all life )
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I’m simultaneously very pleased and very curious 
(but I also recall what happened to the cat. Allegedly.)
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Checking in as day 22 draws to a close here in South East Asia. Had a 5pm meeting today and found myself drifting off and thinking about eating salted crisps and drinking a glass of wine. It just popped out of nowhere. Obviously, I couldn’t act on it because I was in a meeting, so I had the chance to think it through and realise what a ridiculous idea it was. Had talked myself down by the time I got home. Didn’t think about it again. Had a great chat with my two eldest at around 9pm. That wouldn’t have happened if I had been drinking.
Goodnight all. 
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You’re right, the nicknames likely are for life - my two oldest both are at university now but my 20yo still is “Baby” and my 19yo still is “Little Man” 
- I’m feeling alright. Neither here nor there. Someone said to me “Well done!” recently and I can only compare it to being congratulated for going upstairs even though you took the escalator. It’s like permanently living in a state of “…Ah, might aswell” because I can’t really change the past. I used the analogy “Walking across a busy highway with a blindfold on” before but first time round, there was always someone to walk across with me. Now, I’m doing it alone and the feeling is very much “Ah, might as well”… Occasionally, I look back over my shoulder at the pretty billboard I’ve read over and over again but the words don’t change, the paper just starts to lift and fall off as it gets more and more exhausted the more it gets looked at. The only reason that billboards ever get changed is because people stop paying attention to them or because some other entity has decided to take over the space. Some new internet trend or line of vaccuum cleaners might emerge onto the scene and become the next best thing but eventually something else will come along as the paper gets weathered and so the cycle continues. It actually only takes a second for a billboard to begin its inception of thought processes - You might not even remember seeing it but its there and its waiting. There’s a place in London near Uxbridge Road called Apex Corner and theres a huge billboard on the roundabout. You can’t really look at it properly because you need to be concentrating on the road (its quite a busy road) but the slightest lapse in concentration could cause a pretty serious pile up there. Billboards are so intrusive. I think from now on, I will continue to just acknowledge the billboard. Read it quickly and don’t try to hide the fact that its there or ignore the message its trying to send - It really just wants to be acknowledged and as soon as its acknowledged, you can get yourself round that roundabout. You should certainly never try to look back at the billboard on Apex corner… That vaccuum cleaner trend could end up sucking the life out of you and be a hell of a lot more destructive and disillusioning than you might think
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Air conditioning!?!?! @dalex77 we cant be friends anymore. That was the first thing we shut off when I got here! I need to soak it all in so I can bring it back with me.
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Yessss… Nashville wedding! LOL, I will even start to like country just for you wifey! @dalex77 … this will be the wedding of the century… two queens getting married. Bring your cowboy hat and boots and your gonna have to deal.
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Ok peeps, I need your support today. Going to clean all the wine and liquor bottles out of my sisters apartment. I took her to treatment last week and didn’t share with u guys. It was a nightmare. I just haven’t been AROUND alcohol in the last 7 months. Im not sure how this will go. I will let you know when I’m done.
Thanks 4 being there.
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My Father is with me… he just doesn’t understand what he’s asking me 2 do.
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Checking in day 42, ‘cos it’s the answer to life, the universe and everything.
Haven’t checked in daily, purely because there’s more often than not, not that much to report.
Anyhow, life’s been ok. Yup, that’s it. 
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64 days. Quick sober check in. I’ve realized I can channel my addictive personality into anything: exercise, work, love for my wife and kids, etc. I know this can be good and bad so I’m working on achieving balance with all these things I don’t feel I was giving 100% while getting turnt so often. Sober still feels really good and my mind feels 20 years younger as does my body in this short time.
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Check in here, lots. You can do this. We got you.
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