Day 20. Last night was hard. Friday night, a lot of angry and yelling customers at work today, and my house was a disaster when I got home. I focused on the fact that drinking would not solve any of these problems. Tidied up a bit, had a nice hot shower, changed the bedding and went to sleep. So happy I didn’t cave!
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@Misokatsu & @icebear congrats on 200 days 
@Soundlab congrats on 40 days
@DougM congrats on 60 days
@Mischa congrats on 2 weeks
@Drave congrats on 90 days
@802 congrats on your month
@Tomek feel better soon 
201 days no alcohol.
169 days no cocaine.
Many thanks for all the congrats on the milestone, my brain decided to “reward” me with a relapse dream last night, that’s 2 in the last week, and it was actually me using in both of them. I don’t know what to think about why they are happening, wondering if it’s because I’ve quit nicotine again, almost at 4 week’s with that.
I’m totally out of control with the binge eating. Even with regular food I can’t control myself. It’s actually beginning to scare me now. Still planning to restart my diet on Monday, so determined to beat this, and the meal-replacement route is the closest I can get to abstaining completely, whilst at the same time trying to work on my triggers and reasons for bingeing, and learning new ways to navigate the associated thoughts and feelings, ready for in around 6 months time when I slowly reintroduce healthy foods, but not even going to think that far ahead, just one day at a time, I’m also going to try to avoid the scales, because I recognise that when I’ve done well it can trigger the reward mentality, but I need to learn that bingeing is not rewarding.
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My apologies for not being able to catch up. Checking in sober real quick. I really need to catch up on school and work. Hit a little skimp there for a minute. Time to pay now 
Happy sober Saturday folks.
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Beautiful pics thank you for sharing!
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- Saturday’s are my days I get to sleep in but I was woke up by my daughter and her friend being super loud at 8am. I was not happy because at that point I couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up had my coffee talked with my kids and my mom called and wanted to go shopping. I was still pretty upset I didn’t get to sleep in lol. But, mom came and got me we went to breakfast at our favorite place and the cook brought our plates out and was happy to see us! He even remember what each of us always order. It was so heart warming. This pandemic has isolated all of and left so many of us in such a lonely place that when the cook comes out with the two plates of food and set the right one in front me saying I remember what you order with the biggest smile on his face just really warmed my heart. After spending the whole morning with my mom I came home and my daughter cleaned the whole house moms clean lol. She was forgiven for waking me up early lol. I feel present in my life and that’s all I really want. Mom and I had a great convo about my husband and how I am able to cope with his loss now that I’m sober. At one point I couldn’t talk to my mom about my sobriety. I believe it was the shame I felt about being an addict and everything I put my family through. Growth is possible in sobriety. I love who I’ve become and there’s hope for even better days staying clean.
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Goodnight everyone
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I agree. I’m going to Fayetteville Arkansas. I will be busy for the most part so I’m glad
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Great job getting through your 20th day and a tough Friday at work. Sounds like the addiction bastard was really testing you last night. Congratulations getting through it. I did a lot of late afternoon early evening hot showers too when I first started. Still do sometimes. Give yourself a nice Pat on the back and do it again today. Your worth it.
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Don’t really feel like checking in cuz I’m not doing shit. Back is still hurting. But I was able to walk the dogs yesterday and today. Recovering is a slow process. It fucking sucks!! Been watching movies. Lying on ice or heat. Meditating. Dropping a meme once and awhile 
. But this is really Bullshit!! It is getting better slowly. Old man slowly.
At least I’m 422 days sober. So I got that going for me. And I can generally rally around to cook dinner. And let the dogs out at night.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak
Isaiah 4:29
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Sorry you’re still having such bad back pain Eric. I’m glad you were able to at least get out with the dogs the last 2 days.
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I have procrastinated writing a paper for 7 weeks, I just wrote the introduction and now I want to congratulate myself by not writing anymore tonight…
Due date: tomorrow night.
That’s how I am.
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@Dazercat Always happy to see your check-ins, even if there is no super exciting news going on.
Day 201
Made some admin mistakes with the speaking tests I did yesterday. My examining partner also made some different mistakes. Trying not to be hard on myself. We are all human.
My smartphone has been “updating” for several hours now. I had been having trouble with the navigation bar before, think it has finally bit the dust.
No plans for today - the in-laws often book a court to play tennis, but they didn’t today, so just the nuclear family today. My daughter will be off playing with her friends in the school grounds most of the day, I guess, so will do extra homework with my son.
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98 days. A very sad end to the day. I took the family out to a restaurant for dinner tonight. The police pulled up about the same time to meet a man inside at the bar. Overhearing the conversation, he was high, drunk, and alone at just 5pm. He couldn’t even walk. My heart broke for him as he was being arrested. Hoping this will be his rock bottom so he can begin his journey out of that life. What a reminder to stay on track tonight. 
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Thank you for the kind words Eric! 
I really hope your back starts feeling better soon. Sending you positive vibes.
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Day 154 no booze, day 28 no smoking. Today was not great. My dad is back from out of state, and today was the first time I’ve seen him since before Thanksgiving. He’d been drinking already when I arrived for lunch. He mocked me for bringing sparkling water with me because I wanted to make sure there was a non-alcoholic option for me to have. He tried to pick fights with me all through lunch. “Every time you try to quit drinking, you and I get into a screaming match,” he told me. I told him that I’m not trying to quit, I am done and I’m working on maintaining that. I also told him that I don’t want to argue with him. Just to make it extra emotional and upsetting, as I was leaving, he told me that he’s missed me and was so happy to see me. Really? Ah, there’s the emotional whiplash I’ve known my entire life.
I’m here, sober, and emotionally exhausted. Tomorrow will be different, and I look forward to that.
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That sounds very exhausting @TSan. I’m glad you stood up for yourself by telling him you don’t want to argue. You should be proud of the way you handled it. Sending you a big hug and wishing you a restful night of sleep. 
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Today was rough. People were exhausting. I accomplished very little at work and that bothers me.
I wanted to drink so bad.
But I didn’t. And I took that frustration out on house work.
Now my house is spotless and I’m making dope dinner. All is right again…
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Day 243.
Didn’t ask too much of myself today – so, you could almost say I overachieved!
Tuckin’ in soon, happy to be sober.
G’night, dear people. We all have another day in us, I’m sure of it. And that’s what tomorrow’s for. 
@Soundlab beautiful pics! Thanks for sharing.
@Dazercat that does suck. What happened again? Lifting super heavy steaks from the grill? Picking the Bombas socks up off the floor? (yep, I’m a brat.) I hope you feel top shelf in no time.
@NWWitch “and I took that frustration out on house work”. Well done! (And I really need to get frustrated around here soon!)
@TSan emotional whiplash 
Take care, lovely. I’m super proud of how you handled all of that. Gonna put your example in my back pocket when I need to face some similar relations.
@marcusmaximus2000 I hope things are going okay with your son.
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I find it so much easier to stand my ground with pretty much anyone (including my parents) when I am sober and not full of anxiety and the frayed nerves and uncertainty that come with drinking. It just underlines that we are doing the right thing and that things are much better this way. I really identify with your post. Thanks for sharing.
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