Oh ya. And my wife loves her white noise machine. She puts it on every night.
@Will3 congrats on 10 months 
@Kipper congrats on your PB
@littlemisschatterbox congrats on 18 months
@ICanAndWill sending strength
225 no alcohol.
193 no cocaine.
20 days no binge-eating.
Itās hard to admit but Iām feeling really relapsey. 
I think itās a cumulation of the presence of the dealers all last week, and the fact that Iāve lost my home is very real now that Iāve started packing boxes. I feel like crying but tears never come, Iāve got butterflies in my stomach and I can feel anxiety in my chest. Iām scared, I havenāt felt like this since I got clean. Iāve also been going through my photo storage app on my phone and deleting all the horrendous photos of myself in active addiction. I never want to go back there!
Since I stopped binge-eating I havenāt been able to watch any TV, so Iāve got 2 episodes of The Voice singing program to catch up on, maybe that would help to release some tears.
My dad dropped my prescription medications off to me today, and I got a really cold vibe from him, and itās made me wonder if itās the anniversary of my Grandadās (his dadās) death. It was around this time of year 2-3 years ago. It plagues me that I canāt remember any of my grandparentās death anniversaries, but I really didnāt cope well with their passings and ultimately used drink, drugs, and food, to numb it all out.
Iāll be okay. Really grateful to have this place and you all to share this stuff. I have no friends that I can talk to so it can feel quite heavy all alone. Thanks for being here. 
I did submit the job application today so I guess thatās a positive . 
27 Likes
I guess Iām lucky that I donāt associate olives with booze. Iām lucky in that, I guess. But I do understand fully what you are saying!!
1 Like
Oh, the whole French Foreign Legion thing didnāt exactly endear me to anyone !
But mostly itās the whole family thingā¦ having been dumped by my wife - which I doubtlessly deserved - no kids, always on the runā¦ things like that.
I suppose that if I could spend a couple of years in Japan, my Japanese would get a lot better too ! I take lessons twice each week over the Internet, and that is really working out well, in my opinion, along with WaniKani for the kanjiā¦ which is difficult, but coming along, I suppose. Iām almost halfway trough the levels !
5 Likes
Thanks Stella. I completely agree, keep reaching forward. All they are going to do and want to do is hold me back on who I use to be. Not who I am now
7 Likes
Day 1, after doing good for a bit. I am having a hard time realising the friends/people I keep up with to see how they are doing regularly, do not keep up with me. If I do not call or send a textā¦ itās just silent. The same goes for family.
I know you surround yourself with people that fit with the way you present yourself and you should find ānew peopleā. Still it hurts me a bit and I feel more lonely in a happy shell/mask.
Anyway. Day 1, proud of the sober day-streak I had before this.
20 Likes
I always wondered if your avatar was a French Foreign Legion badge
This message.
1 Like
Okaaayy!!! Get it girl. 
1 Like
Yes, but for the infantry. The paratroopers have a different cap badge.
2 Likes
@littlemisschatterbox I said it on ur thread, but worth saying again, congratulations!
@ICanAndWill Sending strength.
@RosaCanDo My sympathies.
@zzz Think about what happened before u drank. Think REALLY hard about if it was worth it.
@anon27700620 Plenty of marriages fail, doesnāt mean the participants are worthless. I know u donāt like being cheered up, or donāt think u are worth being cheered up, but how u look at things really alters if u are āhappyā or at least not miserable.
7 Likes
Itās done, end of. And here we go again a little bit wiser. Next time you want to pick up DM me. Get yourself a more direct support network, if you want my phone number just ask, get as many as you can and use them. Youāve proved to yourself youāve got what it takes so all we gotta do next time is find you a distraction from one stupid thought.
8 Likes
Day 311. Overall a good day. Tomorrow Iāll be seeing some family members that I havenāt seen since I got sober. But they know my struggles and Iāve told them I donāt drink anymore. Hoping for a nice reunion.
16 Likes
Thank you Joy, hope your well 
1 Like
Checking in sober, Day 441 (today makes 63 weeks AF)! Been a few days since Iāve checked in, been enjoying several days unplugged from tech and outside in the warm sun! 
Did lots of yard work, several hikes, a bike ride, cleaned my grill and made steaks for dinner, and did daily meditations sitting by the riverside. Hereās a pic - bonus points for it also qualifying for the threads Sober Selfies, Sober Leg Selfies and Inspiring Photos of Nature!!! Hope everyone is having a great, sober week!!!
30 Likes
Great day today worked in my yard. Worked out got a good night sleep last night. Had a rough day yesterday but made it through with no drinking. Today was a better day. Now at the vets for my fur babies annual check up alittle nervous cause I canāt go in with them and one of my boys doesnāt do well with strangers! I feel like a mom leaving her baby for the first time at daycare lol
12 Likes
Glad it is going well! Family reunions can be great, also can be tough, for various reasons. Glad they know you donāt drink anymore.
1 Like
Woo hoo!! Congratulations @littlemisschatterbox!! I just realized our sobriety dates are only 5 days apart. Heres to my almost sober twin.
8 Likes
Good evening friends, finishing up a successful day 129 at a meeting. Had an awesome day. Got a lot done and enjoyed a Stromboli for dinner!
Life is good. Feeling great and content. Approaching happy, joyous and free!
Have a great evening!
25 Likes