Day 1221 Sober
Day 13 on Parole
When people ask me how I feel, I’m at a loss for words. I feel too much to describe.
This isn’t a bad thing. But it’s a lot to try to convey in a simple, understandable way.
The headline here is:
I HAVE A LOT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.
Where to begin… Hmmmm how bout a gratitude list?
I woke up with the sun today, ready to wake and joyfully sober.
This morning I get to lay in my bed, sip earl grey tea, and complete safety training courses online.
I get to be lovingly supportive of my wife (Kerrie’s) need for space. Allowing her to focus on her personal wellbeing.
I got to visit with my dear friend and sponsor, Bob,
Yesterday in my home and share a lovely conversation with him and Kerrie.
I have a new job opportunity and am in the final phase of screening.
I got to talk on the phone with two of my former supervisors who are generously recommending me for this new job opportunity.
I got to reconnect with my friend David and open myself up to his offer of financial support.
I have more friends and love coming my way than I can handle, and it makes my heart swell, everyday.
I found the exact dresser I was looking for, this week, and today I get to unpack my clothes into it.
I have a beautiful new home to share with Kerrie and we get to decorate and arrange furniture together. Taking our time as we do so.
I get to fill out a rental application and provide bank statements to my landlord today, opening my heart to wonder instead of worry.
On Saturday, I get the opportunity to show my character and integrity to my landlord, when we meet in person for the first time.
Outside my front door is a beautiful neighborhood, full of trees, nestled in the foothills of picturesque mountains, walking distance from shopping/dining and AA+NA meetings.
I don’t HAVE TO walk anywhere because I have my truck and my license again.
I get to call whomever I like, at any point in the day, and tell them I love them /miss them /hope to catch up soon.
This afternoon I get to go to my first yoga class in damn near two years.
I get to share that experience with my wife.
Today I can be compassionate toward myself and others, without fear of judgements or misunderstanding
Today I get to make progress in many different aspects of my life, through simple straight forward effort and honest attention.
I do not need to drink or use to be OK today.
I get to love myself instead.
Whoa.
That’s a bigger list than I thought it would be when I started it. I guess that’s how it works though. We see what we look for.
I hope you guys can shine a light on the things you’re grateful for today. I love you.
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