Thinking of you:sparkling_heart:
it’s so hard with up and down moods. It’s strange how they can change so fast.
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Oh I hate those waiting periods. It’s hard when you’re not getting any communication. I don’t know you’re situation in detail, but I hope you know I’m listening and wishing you comfort in this moment.
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Checking in on day 313. Tomorrow is a new day.
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@Aleyadaisey binge thread has daily check ins. The weight loss thread… @Dazercat no sugar thread… all of those are good ones for accountability and discussion. You are making progress!
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Thank you! I remember when I was doing inpatient treatment in 2013, they’d take us to the YMCA for an hour to get some exercise. I asked one of the counselors why I felt depressed when I got back. He said the endorphins were wearing off and it’s kind of like coming down from a high. So I said, “Kind of defeats the point then doesn’t it?” 
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Day 9 feeling good sober 
the pain is off the charts wish this pain clinic referral will hurry up 
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Checking in today day 4. Was a pretty standard day at work. Got my paperwork done pretty smoothly. Came home and made some turkey meatballs with tomato sauce and a lemon dressed spring mix salad. Nice light yummy dinner. I had a couple friends over tonight and that mostly always a trigger for me. But my friends support me, and were happy to be sober with me too. We made a yummy NA sangria. Watched a movie and now im headed off to bed! Good day, didn’t think about drinking. Good night yall!
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Sounds like a great night. So glad you’re friends supported you:heart:I want to try your turkey meatballs!!
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@HappyButtersStotch Be strong! Sometimes these things aren’t so bad in hindsight.
FAE1 Bed sounds great. Hope u feel better tomorrow.
@Butterflymoonwoman Yes, there is a binge eating thread
Binge eating recovery daily check in thread
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Day 470.
So I was not feeling the whole going to work at 11pm thing tonight. I was exhausted and dreading it. But I came in and found out someone left another review online and dropped my name. Made my day!
It’s truly amazing how far basic human decency can go. Well to me what seems like it should be basic human decency.
So last night the online servers overbooked my hotel. I had the joy of telling people that they didn’t have a place to stay.
This lady called me. I could tell she was kinda panicking. Her 21 year old son had driven quite a long way from home only to find out we didn’t have a room for him. As a mom I can imagine that worry. I took literally 5 minutes and made some calls and found him a room at a different hotel. This incident could have easily got a terrible review. But instead
Here’s the review she left me. It makes my heart happy to know I am able to bring even the smallest amount of happiness or peace to someone.
“My son did not get the opportunity to stay here, BUT, a young lady named KAYLA took the time to help me find my 21 yr old son & his friend who drove in from Kingswood, TX to weld there in [town] another room because Fairfield’s online website allowed me to book his room even though they were already booked up.
I super, super, super appreciate the fact that she took the time at 11:40 pm to call around to other hotels equivalent to Fairfield quality in effort to not only find him a room but to give me, his mother who is over 7 hours away a sense of peace knowing he & his friend has a room & is in a safe location as well.
THANK YOU KAYLA, I LOVE TEXAS BUT ITS GETTING KINDA SCARY SO I THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER. You didn’t have to help us but you did & u did it without me even asking!!! Fairfield needs more Kayla’s!!!
(100) 
”
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1048
Instant coffee. Not quite sure what today will bring yet. Some touristy stuff I guess. And I’m 100% sure it won’t involve drinking or drugging.
Sober and clean, just tor today, as i expect from all of you friends. There’s nothing using would make better. Have as good a day as you all can. Clean and sober. Love from Pravcicka Brana.
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Is it allowed or possible to go over the stone arc in the picture?
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No I don’t think so. Reminds me of another natural bridge I visited, on the seashore in Aruba, which collapsed in 2005…
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My biggest problems are mere thoughts… How ironic is that? An infinite universe stands at my disposal, and I waste my time struggling to seperate immaterial thought from reality… Judging, shaming, hating, loathing myself, feeling guilty, hopeless, inadequate, useless, alienated, lost… For what? I don’t need blanketing distractions anymore to escape my suffering childhood… Nobody’s telling me I’m unworthy anymore… I don’t need to accept toxic solutions from toxic circumstances anymore… I’m not dependent on the unreliable outside anymore… Nobody’s able to do anything negative OR positive in my relative self-isolation. I can’t be judged or loved because I still struggle to let people into my bubble. And after declaring war on myself, I wonder why life’s not beaming success? I yearn for acceptance, purpose, ‘normality’… More than I enjoy, appreciate or live the moment ticking by. I need help - but nobody can help me more than myself…
I now know my addictions -miswired dopamine elevations- are purely trauma originated! I create my own problems, stress, pressure, judgement, since they’re what I once knew. As if I need problems and deserve lowness… I give into my addictions to fill the burning hole of loneliness, boredom, despair, depression, anxiety that arises without my usual distraction dependencies… Because the familiar bad is psychologically easier than the unfamiliar good… Dopamine elevations are meant for survival - not self-destruction! Food, water, sleep, fitness, health, achievement, love…
And I’ve come way too consciously far to give up on mastering taking control of my life and not NEEDING to keep running and hiding from it like my unknowing child self once did to cope… It wasn’t my fault :’( and I didn’t know any better! I’m not how I see myself! Neither is this entire existence. I don’t want to fail and complain when I CAN thrive by manifesting it with every potential ticking moment. Should I be alive? Should I stay miserable? Should I keep failing? Do I fucking want that…?! No, I choose life & to strive for the best as much as I consciously can whilst I have it! 
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Day 20
There was a part of my morning that started as an intense challenge but I grew it into an opportunity to reach out to get even more help and be a better, stable and more resourceful parent for my sp.ed son.
There’s now even more goodness and opportunity and people connecting into both our lives and on the way for his benefit.
I cried at first, yes, when i felt overwhelmed but then I was faced with what to do after that. Asked myself what now? Am I crumbling again? Am I giving up the day to intense emotions? Not likely. He’s here and needs me now.
I decided to wipe away my tears and bucked up because I have to forge a future from nothing but intentions, optimism, ambitions and a lot of newfound emotional regulation tools of my own. I’m gonna give that boy everything I have to offer him. Same with my daughter. These kids are here for their own stories to keep unfolding, I want to be a guidepost and an enrichment to that journey, not an obstacle in their paths.
Not a brag I promise, just a happy resolution i felt excited to share. I’m always happy to connect with other parents here, it’s a whole other facet of recovery honestly
Thanks again for having me, have a good night all!
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Love this so much, and you can do it! I soo much relate to the battles of the mind, they’re the toughest ones sometimes tbh. Keep on going and we can get there!
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Hi everyone 
I’m not a regular on this thread, it’s hard to keep up but I do read alot of it every couple of days and wanted to say to you all, I am so glad to be a part of this community.
I could not have got to 203 days without you.
I wish you all a lovely day, I feel proud for so many when I’m reading how well your doing and watching each other grow and support each other also when it gets tough.
Thank you 
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@kat261 congratulations on your 259 days, Iv seen quite alot of your threads over time, some stuff in my life seems somewhat similar. I’m proud of you x
@Butterflymoonwoman Wow, you are really doing so well, like I really smile and get a happy belly feeling when I see your you 65 days !! So happy for you, you really are doing brilliant x
@michaeljlogan74 How are you congratulations on your days too. Hope everything with work goes ok. 
@mamador congratulations on your 20 days.
@Mno congrats on your 1048 days.
@DeadMist congratulations on your 470 days.
@Shna Big congrats on your 4 days
@Bones_80 congratulations on your day 9
@CoeurDeLion Huge congratulations on your 145 days and all the support, Huge thank you.
There are so many people to congratulate cant fit you all, but congratulations to everyone.
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What do you do, when you cant forgive yourself? All the pain, scare, not being there for your kids, only thinking about your drinking, traumatize them, maybe have Hurt their mental health growing up. Its eating me up. I cant live with this feeling, knowing I migth have broken them.
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Hi, in my earlier sobriety I used to feel so much guilt and shame, in my life i have noticed the longer iv been sober i have changed in many ways, as have the people who are in our lifes change when we quit. It takes time, all we can do is concentrate on what we can do that is right for the present and future.
Even now when I have images flash through of stuff I’m disappointed in my self for, I feel these feelings, but for a quick moment, as iv had time to realise i am good person, we all are. And our actions over time help to heal these feelings that others felt from us and from us to ourselves.
Dont be hard on yourself. Dont let the feelings take over.
Dont dwell on the past and overwhelm yourself with guilt.
Dont worry or feel anxious about the future.
Try to concentrate on just today.
That usually helps me get through a tough emotional day.
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