I know it’s difficult and we talked about it a bit before and of course every situation is different, but one thing I learned is: if you want to start helping your kids you need to stop helping them. It’s actually kind of the same as recovery from an addiction. It has to be their choice. They have to want to do it and you can’t force that upon them unfortunately. One thing my daughter said to me before was “well I know if I don’t do it, you’ll just end up doing it for me”… And that made me take a good look at where the motivation for me helping her was coming from. It just becomes this battle that nobody wins. Sorry it’s so frustrating for you though I know that you just want to help and it would be so easy (and we see it so clearly) all they need to do it’s just that 30 to 45 minutes and then boom it’s done but they see it differently somehow.
Day 289.
Haven’t posted here in a looooong time. Mental health took a dive after a 3-month bout of physical illness, and slowly finding my way back to good health and balance.
Sobriety has been strong, but I’m still navigating how to cope with the stress of my high-stress and very demanding work. Things are especially busy this time of year, and I find myself panicking on the daily. Not tempted to drink, but also haven’t figured out how to handle stress without alcohol yet.
Been referred to a CBT app by my doctor which I’m also still trying to navigate.
Brainstorming ways to make work a little less all-consuming going forward, while still trying to remind myself of the simple things I so often forget: I’m worthy, I’m doing my best, and no one will die if I’m less than perfect.
Hey glad u popped on and posted 
I’m happy to hear that ur doing a bit better. Screws has always been a trigger for me to use so I’m doing the same with finding new healthy ways to cope with stress. Glad ur back on here to update us!
I found my very nice bike on Craigslist for like 300. In the past you’ve identified moving out as a goal because of your conflict with your mom, now you are going to drop 750 on a bike? I understand wanting to be able to ride with the girls and everything, but think this through. A bicycle is a nice thing I get to have as a result of my sobriety. Moving out of a self identified codependent relationship is a step towards achieving sobriety.
Yes, several times allready. First time with a sponsor though.
Needed the first few rounds to get to the core issues I guess
Thanks man I always appreciate your words. I really looked all over on Facebook for something and could find absolutely nothing. Definitely that’s why I don’t want to spend the money is bc I’m thinking of rent getting out and everything, but it’s not just for my girls I have zero transportation if I get a job. Tupper is small but there is no ubers or taxis or anything so I figured it would be nice. I still have another year before I can apply for my license still, everything is paid and caught up when I first got sober but they still won’t give me my license. Anyways the place I went to cut me a break and dropped a big chunk off the bike for me. So I paid 650 I’m happy, it will be nice for getting to my meetings which are downtown from me. St Joe’s can also help me in finding a place to live as well
Yes that seems to be normal. My sponsor told me to go through all the steps carefully because with one step there may be things that are still unclear. If the previous step is not clear, it can work as a domino effect and you will always run into something, so she explained too me and my sponsor has an American sponsor herself. They do it just a bit stricter than here she said. So in other words I have to work😅
Thank you I appreciate that super proud of you to dude
Really proud of you Mike getting to 1 week clean and sober! I’m noticing a huge change in u already by the posts u write
In the first few rounds, there was a lot I couldn’t really dig into yet. Needed to get rid of the guilts first. From there, slowly got in touch with feelings so could get a little deeper, and so on.
It is only now, that I can really look at the how and why of everything, besides the autism.
And it is only now, that I’m starting to get ready to talk about the deepest emotions and insecurities.
So now is the time to start with a sponsor…
I’m really glad you don’t want to beat yourself up anymore! You’re taking the right steps and I’m proud of you.
Super stoked for tomorrow.
Thank you❤️ it does feel nice to have a changed mindset
It definitely lifts my mood a lot. I’m gonna make it happen. It might be difficult but there is no point in trying to please people who simply can’t be pleased m so I refuse to let them hold me back
So it’s day 40 for me (and I know I don’t really need to say this but it would have been day 64 if I didn’t do a reset… And the reason I say that is because that’s a long time for just having one reset and not letting it go on a big Bender or anything so I’m proud of myself for that) … And I noticing all these positive changes. Other than the fact that I’ve been feeling a bit sick lately I do feel like I have way more energy and I’m able to handle stress better. I feel like my eyes are brighter and clearer in the morning my skin looks better and I finally gotten over my cravings for extra sugar and I feel like I’m even making healthier choices in so many areas of my life. I’m better able to deal with my daughter. I have more patience. I feel more grateful. I’m able to sit with my feelings instead of trying to escape them all of the time. I’m less angry at my husband who continues to drink. He and I are able to communicate better and although he’s drinking every night he’s not totally overdoing it. And yet even after all of these positives today is a day I want to cuddle up on the couch turn on a movie and have a few drinks. It’s probably the first day in quite a while that I’m actually contemplating drinking. I don’t want to throw all of this away but I’m just struggling partially because I still don’t feel 100%. I have a headache and I’m achy. Ive still got a long ways to go for the afternoon so hopefully in a few hours this feeling will pass by the time I get home from picking up my daughter. I’m sure I can make it try to find something else to look forward to I’ve only got one more client then I’ll pick up my daughter and then maybe have a NeoCitron and relax on the couch. I can do this. I don’t want to go through resetting and have to suffer through getting sober all over again.
Day 69 of no self harm
My post yesterday really made me feel so proud of myself. I know it’s going to be tough changing my entire life and mentality, but I have to do it. I can’t continue to be miserable anymore. I really hope this positivity sticks, but even when it doesn’t I’m gojng to force myself to be positive when I can. I’m doing good today.
Something positive: made a new friend in VR and we’re gonna watch some documentaries together
Day 128. Haven’t checked in much the last week or so, it’s been a stressful time in life so it’s not been easy but I’m still going. Just wanted to say out loud that I do love life and I’m very grateful to my higher power for giving me strengths.
As I’m coming out of a tough patch I’d like to share that exercise has again helped me massively and probably saved me again.
Keep going all, it’s not worth giving up! Good days await us when sober 
@Butterflymoonwoman , @Miranda , @Its_me_Stella thank you guys. I am super stoked for tomorrow as well, like really honestly stoked. Going for a small bike ride much love
Good morning guys. Getting read for my early walk before the world starts to stir and the work day begins.
It’s day 41 for me, just started reading we are the luckiest. I’ve read a few of the quit lit books, enjoying this one so far.
I guess over the years I’ve tried to get sober and have been sober a few times. And I’ve really come off the rails a few times, I realise now it was just a coping mechanism for losing my parents and the trauma of it all.
I’m having a bit of a self realisation, it’s like slowly clicking hard for me. The realisation that I really cannot drink, it cannot be a part of my life. I’ve tripped and fell a few times brushing off the seriousness off what alcohol does to me.
But lately I’ve been seeing my relationship with alcohol over a larger timeline with more of an idea how my merry go round relationship with booze works.
I’m starting to just sit with this idea, that I’m just not able to manage it. And it’s not scaring me.
What scares me is this feeling of being to new in sobriety again. The moods that come and go, the loss of direction because I’ve spent so long drinking and having my life circle around it.
Everything feels so new and raw, like I’m a bloody child again. I almost feel like I’m in the first week again, so fresh to it all.
I think in the past I’ve gotten a bit cocky about sobriety, like oh yeah I’ve been a month off, this is easy and then just crumbled at the first real gut wrenching craving. At the moment I’m really just noticing how sensitive I’m feeling, but just how important it is to me to stay sober.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this feeling that’s kind of growing within me.
Thanks for listening 
Midday check in
Day 84
Day has turned around. Had to work for it though lol Some days just flow so nicely for me and I’m motivated and in a good mood. Other days (like today), it comes down to “baby steps”. So basically telling myself to just focus on completing yhe task at hand. Then once I get that done, I focus on the next task. And before u know it, I start sort of building up momentum and I get going. I used to do this alot when I didn’t want to get out of bed when I mentally didn’t feel well. Currently I am feeling alot better. I prayed and I smudged in the sun rays out on the balcony. Found some pictures on the internet for my vision board. Started the dreamcatcher for my friend. Did some cleaning and now drinking a nice apple flavored tea. Started keeping track of my food intake and will exercise tmrw mrng. Habits (whether good or bad), need time to develop I guess lol so I have to put the work in to see results. This Monday isn’t turning out too bad after all!
