Sorry you’re having trouble with the hubby. Having a spouse that drinks can make it very difficult. Trust me I KNOW!! I also know when I’m focused on my wife’s drinking I’m not focusing on myself and my sobriety.
Please do feel free to come on and vent and get it out of your thoughts. I do it all the time. It was really hard the few few weeks. My wife did support me. But she still drank every night.
Hang in there. You came to the right place tonight.
Argh! When I first tried to get sober, I asked my husband if we could not have tons of booze always in the house. He said that my problem was mine, not his.
Years later he removed all the alcohol, after me telling him what I was saying about him here 
You are doing great and I can tell you will continue to do so!!
@Lorelai Sorry to hear about your loved one. I am glad your sobriety allows you to be present with them. 
@vaariesga Congratulations! 
@BrianP My deepest condolences.
@Mindymoo Rant away! I would want to rant too! Exactly, let him stay as he is, while you grow.
I’m back and hate myself for complaining, but I have no one else to share it with. I’m mad at the world right now. Well, actually now I’m pissed at autocorrect that can’t get anything right and I’m constantly fixing.
I’m tired of waking up with unbelievable pain. I’m tired that when I sprained my ankle/wrists several weeks ago, they are not getting better. I struggle with the dumbest shit that most take for granted. I’m tired of being exhausted all the time even though I drink a shitload of coffee and tea everyday. I do my F@#in best to stay positive and keep telling myself this will get better, but everyday it’s the same. (I have RA, it’s a chronic disease that is causing most of this, I’ve had over 2 decades, I did see my doctor a few weeks ago).
I don’t know if I’m going to make it here, I don’t plan on drinking tonight, I don’t know about tomorrow. I have no plans on it. I want to be sober. I’ve lived so long masking my pain with alcohol, I didn’t realize how bad it was. I pray everyday for God to help me out. I DO have faith. I need some relief. Sorry, needed to get my anger out.
Ugh Maxie. That’s sounds unbearable. And it certainly is exhausting. When I’ve had pain. Not like yours. Osteoarthritis both hips. Got them replaced a long time ago. Any way…… I was always so tired. I really sucks.
It must be very hard to stay positive. I wish I could give you some answers or ideas. But I remember numbing my pain with booze. It didn’t actually help. I just got drunk. And I’d still be in pain. And passed out on the couch. And then hungover. So we both know that’s not a solution. Acupuncture? It works for some. I tried it. It felt real trippy and relaxing but after I still had pain. I’m sorry you got this going on in your life. Keep letting it out here. We are here the best we can be for you.
Big hugs my friend.
Oh and I think you got plenty of reasons to complain. So let it out!!
I went to the doctor today and found out that I’ve gained 22 lbs in three months which is a bit alarming. On top of this I suddenly have high blood pressure. Both are probably related to my antidepressants, but I have also been eating like trash recently and been a bit of a couch potato. So I need to cut out sugar and processed crap and start exercising more regularly. Who knew. Anyway, checking in on day 381 for alcohol and Day 0 for sugar/unhealthy eating.
Hey Drew. Congrats on the 381
After I got some time under my belt, which was a couple of notches bigger 
I had to cut back on the sweets too.
I use the no added sugar thread and the weight loss check in thread regularly along with a few others.
I also find brisk 30 minute walks do wonders for my mind and body.
Come check us out if your interested.
Thanks, Eric! I’ll check it out.
I had some beers yesterday and they gave me extreme anxiety today. I know I can stay clean as I did so for the entirety of 2021 for my New Year’s resolution and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I need to get a good nights sleep tonight, wake up and go for my morning run, and know that tomorrow’s a beginning of a new day.
Day 118 of no self harm
I started my new job today. Remote customer service. Today was just setting up our equipment. It was extremely infuriating. There’s 50+ people in one training class. It seems at least half of them have little to no idea on how to use a computer. I’m trying to appreciate the fact that I’m getting paid for waiting around, but I just want to be actually doing something, otherwise I’m just sitting there with my thoughts.
Not feeling too great today. A lot anxiety for no reason. Really wanting to self destruct right now.
Aww @Mindymoo im sorry you arent getting the support from your partner. That sucks. Can you try talking to him when hes not drinking? Will your ask be considered then? Would he read a note if you write your sincere thoughts to him?
Evening check in. Almost complete with day 3. Work wasn’t too bad today. My anxiety slowed down after being at my desk for a couple hours and talking to my coworker. She’s an awesome and supportive person. I’m glad to be with my family, having a cup of tea and winding down for the evening.
Near the end of day 2. Unsure of how to feel honestly. I know this is what’s best for me. Being high is fun, but spending the next several days recovering while trying to focus on work and keeping the home life together, sucked. Normally I be cruising for the next one nighter right about now, instead I cooked for the first time in over two weeks. Walked the pup and now gonna clean up a bit and pack tomorrow’s lunch.
As great as it feels, I have to be honest, it’s also lonely. As quickly as I think it, I dismiss it, the little voice inside my head saying, “it wasn’t that bad, you just have to control and moderate its use better.”
Is this normal?
Yep, totally normal. The obsession to drink or use like a gentleman, or lady, or respectable person is maddening. Only when you truly realise you can’t moderate any more than you can fly in the sky, will you be free.
And for me, if I think logically, I was more lonely drinking. I spent so much time alone drinking ‘properly’ (to blackout) hungover, etc. I have more time and energy for socialising now.v
1116, 2466, 5
Quick check in before I have to go and do a day of business emergency training or how you call it in English. In Dutch we simply say bedrijfshulpverleningtraining. Whatever the name I’m glad I’m sober and clean. One day at a time.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Luna and me.
Happy 9 weeks sober Brian!
Thinking about you @BrianP … so hard what you are going through. Proud of you for staying sober. Take care and cry your tears and grieve your grief. Hugs
