So I wasn’t able to log into my computer for work today. And I contacted my manager and he never got back to me. He asked for my logins and they never responded. I understand that he has a lot to deal with, he has two people including himself, managing over a hundred new hires. It’s just extremely frustrating and this company is awful. I’m in a new training class but because he won’t respond to me, I missed the first day of training, half of the second day, and now I have missed the entire third day. I can’t be missing more training it was already so difficult to be put in a new class. I’m just so stressed and I hate this job and I hate this company but I can’t stand the idea of quitting because that means I’m farther from moving out.
I actually have a few positive things this time.
I got my TV today, so I’m now able to play my Xbox in my room and it is amazing.
I ate two meals which has not happened in a long time. I also had a bagel. I’m not very happy about it but I know that it’s a good thing
When I was setting up my tv, I had to clean this pile of junk I had in the corner of my room. I found some of my old hiding spots for razors from when I used to self harm regularly. I actually found upwards of 40, but I immediately threw them away without a second thought and I’m very proud of myself. I don’t remember hiding away that many ever, but I think that showed me how sick I really was then and how much I’ve grown since. Normally I would sit and think about using it and I would have panicked, but it was instinctually just throwing it away and I didn’t even have a second thought I just immediately threw it away
DAY 8
Proud to survive yesterday’s evening cravings again! Washed my car, had a short swim and ate 3 healthy nice meals. Sent out a few apprenticeships, too. And don’t forget… Doing nothing, chilling, meditating, dreaming.
Today i will clean up a bit, reorganise and arrange some parts in my apartment, do some workout or bike ride and relaaaax.
And now… Coffee
Thankful to be alive!
Enjoy your day today!
Julia
Hi everyone. My name is Daniel, I’m 23. I got on this app to try to stop self-harming, an addiction that took hold of me for a long time and was how I dealt with any negative emotions I was feeling. It’s still very hard, I still think about it any time I’m feeling upset, hurt, angry, etc. I still see the spots on my body where I did it and it’s like a constant reminder.
I struggle a lot with depression, anxiety and trauma. It’s hard to find other outlets for these feelings and I don’t have a strong support system in real life.
Today was a pretty bad day for me. I was the closest to relapsing I’ve been in a long time and it’s scared me. I’m feeling discouraged, depressed and afraid today.
Good evening all! Checking in on day 343. Today was my first day back to work since Covid. I am still testing positive but have zero symptoms so they okayed me to go back to work with a N95. Afternoon started okay but after an hour I was physically drained and it was from doing next to nothing. By 8 pm I was spent physically and mentally which is not good when dealing with dementia patients specifically. Kept it together but it was a trying night. There were quite a few moments where reverting back to my alcoholic tendencies seemed so much easier, just say fuck it and go home and be a shell of a nothing. But then I think back at the person I was to who I am now. Ten years ago I was drunk handling and detonating explosives almost daily. A little over a year ago I was vomiting up my first three drinks because my body was rejecting anything I put in it, it was shutting down and now I am back to being an EMT, working with dementia patients and almost done with my 12 year degree so I can help others like us, so there is no doubt which path I’m going to choose. No matter how hard things get or seem it will never be as hard as it was living the way I was. Sorry for the rant but felt like talking tonight and it’s 230 am here and everyone I know is asleep! Hope everyone had a great day or night and stays safe.
Here is the link to the article I was talking about. This is my first time to post a link and I hope it works. Using weights for mental health and PTSD. With the hopes that would help with the binge eating and your wanting to escape to risky sex.
Good morning Mindy. You crack me up. I could listen you you all day . After awhile I started learning about all the different wonderful threads on here. I started of just doing gratitude for the longest time before I branched out. But I do like to see foodie stuff from around the world as I consider myself an ex restaurant pro. We just had our last night. https://talkingsober.com/t/foodies-unite-5-trigger-warning-food-take-another-little-pizza-my-heart/143307/1162
Have a wonderful sober day.
Day 5.
Feeling good again today. Will be busy until late afternoon which was my top up start time every day. Today though I have gardening to do and also have a look at the gardening thread on here. Loving life at the minute. Hope you all have a good day or if not good a better one than yesterday.
Congrats on your 10 days. That sounds like like nothing to normal people. But for people like us who struggle every day, sometimes every hour to control an addiction, it’s a huge accomplishment. Keep piling them days together.
Day 414 continuous sobriety. I tried yesterday to fix the bathroom sink in our 92 year old house and ended up breaking an old pipe and now I have to find a real plumber who knows what they’re doing. And I sliced my hand a bit. I am not a handy man. 90% of what I try to fix ends up more broken than before Today is my daughter’s birthday so we’ll go party hard (seven year old style) at the local arcade with her little friends. It’s awesome how excited kids are about their birthdays. I dread mine in my forties.
Anyway, sober on, friends. Hope today brings you serenity.
Morning people. Checking back in on day 5. Gonna try and hit the gym early and than do some cooking and just enjoy the Saturday since no work today. Maybe I’ll bath the dogs since it’s nice out. They stink. Lol
Day 21! I commit to my promise to myself and my family that I will not drink today. I’m greatful for everything I have!
It amazes me how the mind will manipulate you to get immediate gratification from uncomfortable feelings/boredom.
I can feel so overwhelmingly sick from drinking and desperate to change and save my damaged relationships and then after a few days of feeling physically better, I get thoughts of: how I can probably moderate or maybe only on the weekends and definitely not at social gatherings.
I can’t believe even after reminding myself everyday why I need to change and all the horrible things alcohol has caused in my life, that those strong determined feelings and written plan can go right out the window with a blink of an eye, with a fleeting thought that causes an urge! That one moment in time can change everything! I feel weak and low life and that is not what I want for me or my son.
Addiction is sick and mind twisted! I hate it!
This is what I’m battling. ODAAT!
Hope everyone is doing the work. I haven’t posted much, but I will. I know that reading your posts and engaging everyone takes the focus off ourselves for awhile and is apart of healing.
I have the day to myself, so after my house chores I am driving to one of my favorite places to take a long bike ride.
Then I will head home and make a favorite meal for myself. I will read my book, write a little, then watch some tv until the hubby gets home from his day away.
I’m so pleased that there will be no drinking today.
When I had a day like this last summer, I not only wasted that day in drinking but also lost the whole next day to the hangover.
DAY 8 
. After awhile I started learning about all the different wonderful threads on here. I started of just doing gratitude for the longest time before I branched out. But I do like to see foodie stuff from around the world as I consider myself an ex restaurant pro. We just had our last night.
Today is my daughter’s birthday so we’ll go party hard (seven year old style) at the local arcade with her little friends. It’s awesome how excited kids are about their birthdays. I dread mine in my forties.
