Thank you! One-day at a time!
Thanks, youāre right. Itās puzzling. And that addict voice sneaking in, saying, āHereās something that feels goodā but you know itās bullshit. 
@Rob11, @CB103036, @Misokatsu, @Staringupfromthewell, thank you guys 
- I appreciate you sharing with me. I am fortunate to have a therapy appointment today - just finished - and we got to dig into some of what you guys mentioned, working out what Iām feeling (including the reflexive āf___ you I wonāt do itā behaviour - @Misokatsu youāre right on about that).
In therapy we talked about how I have a highly analytical, mechanically-minded way of thinking and doing, and while thatās useful for many things, it is not an emotionally aware and responsive way of living. My therapist has assigned me homework this week: disrupt my mechanical way of doing things, and insert some spontaneity, some connection, some sharing. Iām going to give some thought to what that might look like; take some time to explore the story of āhow would I be living my days if my upbringing had been as much about how to feel and connect, as it was about what to doā.
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Iām about to peel myself off of the couch and handle what I have to, but I canāt shake the urge to get a drink when I get home. Especially as hot as it is here; a cold beer would taste super good right now. 
Happy Wednesday all. Adults should get naps just like kids. Just sayin haha.
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But youāre sober right!
Oh the chocolates I use to binge on.
Itās normal.
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Checking in after a weekend away and I have to reset. I feel a bit like Iām falling apart. I feel so torn between who I want to beā¦ I know Iām better sober but everyone around me is normalizing drinking so much and Iām struggling. I donāt like who I am when drinking is part of my life. I donāt like who I am when Iām angry at my husband for drinking every night. I was doing okay for a while without drinking while he was drinking but it does make it so much more challenging and I need to get back on track. I know I can do this.
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Congratulations on your 1400 ODAATs Claudia!!
I hope you have a fantastic evening.
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Good afternoon all checking in on day 334! Beautiful day out so I will be outside for most of it. Hope everyone has a great day and stays safe!
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Preach!!!
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Congratulations @SoberWalker Claudia on 1400 days! Hope youāre staying cool over there.
Congratulations @HillbillyChris Chris on 11 months! Keep it up!
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Resetting is tough @Miranda, I reset a few days ago as well. But the important thing is you are back and being honest about it.
It must be so tough to be around people who drink all the time. We are social creatures and you are going to be influenced by those around you in both positive and negative ways.
Rather than thinking about things in the long term maybe just think about today and what you are going to do next. Get a clean day under your belt and go from there.
We are all here doing this one day at a time. We are with you.
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Hey Miranda 
Good to see you again.
This shit really is hard. Duh 
I believe you really want to change and not drink. The first few months were very difficult for me. Extremely difficult. I was extremely angry. But I just knew I had to stop. I had to. It was killing me. Fat drunk and hungover is not how I want to approach my bronze years.
Then COVID hit hard and we couldnāt go anywhere. That actually helped me. If we hadnāt had this pandemic I donāt know if Iād be sober now. I was force to change and I guess isolate. I donāt knowā¦ā¦Iām just sad to see you struggling. And I know you want this.
Now hereās the part I drop a thread on you in case you havenāt seen it yet or forgot about it. And of course a slogan.
if nothing changes
Nothing changes
And weāre the only ones that can change.
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Glad your back Miranda!
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Day 4 - I decided yesterday to do my check ins at the end of each sober day rather than the start as it feels more positive that way.
Today has been a reasonably good day. Iāve been tired, but not too hard on myself. It was a long work day but I work flexible hours so it means I can pick the kids up from school tomorrow and not have to worry about catching up on hours.
I must admit Iāve not done much recovery work today, in terms of being present with my feelings but I think tonight is a good chance to do that.
I hope you all have a good sober day.
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Day 302 checking in
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Iām sorry friend but that made me chuckle. I feel -indeed, I donāt think but I feel these days, at least I try my darnest to- thatās exactly what youāre not to do, to think about it. Let it flow, let it go, stop thinking, enjoy, feel, experience, LIVE!!!
You can do it. Actually the majority of the therapy I did for me was exactly this: to learn to recognise my feelings and to not analyse everything and anything to death. I both think and feel your therapist might try and help you here a little bit instead of giving you homework. This is hard stuff for us who have lived in our heads for so long. But the gains are huge Matt. Time to live in your body too. And your soul. Hugs.
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I definitely will! Nice to meet you @Mindymoo . I am Flannery 
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I love this!
Hello. I was worried about todayā¦ I was leaving my current job, which was emotional, itās my last day of term (Iām a teacher). I would usually use that as an excuse to go out and get obliterated. Not today. I took my family out for dinner. It was nice. Now Iām home and sober. Iām ready for the start of a new chapter, both at work and in my outlook to my life. My first sober end of term. 17 days today. Feeling proud of myself. Going to celebrate with a Yorkie bar, a lemonade and a movie. @Frank68 I couldnāt agree moreā¦ I love a nap, having children doesnāt allow itā¦ but one day when I get that nap, it will be the best nap in the world.
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Hi, no worries
Itās nice to have another outlet to share about her. She has her appt today at 3pm. Itās 12:30 my time. Feeling a little anxious. I havenāt yet shared with my son the situation because well I am waiting on this appt. My son is 15 and he has shared a lot of time with my grandma as well. My daughter is only 6 so she may not grasp the totality of the situation nevertheless they both have to know. They may see me cry here and there as I tend to be very emotional about my grandma so I want them to know that I will be ok but we do sometimes have to cry about the sad things. I am hoping itās positive news. Hoping for treatment and hopefully recovery. Good willing but only he knows.
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