Man alcoholic tendancies are still there. Bought some non alcoholic mocktails and its basically blood orange carbonated water. It tastes like shit but i cant waste it…still drinking it…maybe its the penny pincher in me now lol
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Checking in day 416
Still sober, it was a beautiful rainy day again… Hope everyone’s day is/was good 
Goodnight
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I do that too! I hate to waste any type of food or drink, it’s like throwing away money. I’ve tried to finish stuff that was unbelievably awful, until I think, what the fuck am I doing!? Just throw it away… and buy it again in 6 months when you forgot you’ve ever tried it & how much you hated it. 
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Coffee. New workweek. The experiential expertise course I did yesterday was pretty intense. Good though. We all have our own story and we all can learn from one another. It’s why I’m here too. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober for that’s why we’re here. One day at a time. We’re on this road together. Love.
@SadMemeQueen Hang in there Megan. You’re not alone. Hugs.
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Good morning from Europe!
Let me share with you my ten days of freedom!
Day by day, one day at a time. Best luck in our path of sobriety!
Regards.
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Day 285 AF
What’s good, fam?
Nothing much going on over here. Work and staying busy with the kiddos. No plans this weekend. Whatever comes up, I guess. Gonna go for a walk and call it a night.
Take care, yall.
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I felt the same way about trying to keep up. It’s part of my “all or nothing” personality. Part of the reason I took a break was because I was actually having anxiety about not being able to respond to everybody but then I realized that’s the beautiful thing about this place… There’s always someone here for someone else too. It’s better to be a little part of this big picture than no part of it at all. We only do what we can do and I truly believe that everyone here understands that. I worry about being judged and sometimes that people might think I’m not sympathetic if I don’t respond but I have never felt that way about anyone here. I appreciate responses, but I also know that people just might be busy doing other things and that’s ok too. I’m glad you’re back Maxine:purple_heart:
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Good morning everyone. I’ve not read all your posts as my sleep is that good now I’m almost late for work. I will look forward to reading them later.
Day 4 for me and loving life. I hope you all have a good day today. 
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Good morning, day 7! Woohoo! Milestone reached!
I always have cravings in the evenings, but I got through them! It passes, even if the voice seems to take over my whole brain, telling me that I can manage to have a bottle of wine sometimes and stop again. No, it will never stick to one, I will want to drink again the next evening or when difficult situations arise!
I am already feeling much better after one week.
I did a lot of sport again, swam over 2000 meters and cycled 20 km, burned almost 1000 calories. I had a small can of pineapple juice and banana chips with me and on the way back I sat by the river and took a break. I feel I can gain self-confidence from physical activity. I am grateful for my trained body! And now… COFFEE.
Enjoy your day, Julia 
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You too Col, congrats on 4 days 
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Today I will be 4 days clean which I’m feeling great about. I just wanted to share that I went to my first meeting and got back in the rooms 2 days ago.
I was really excited at first but on arrival felt anxious and nervous just like the tike when I first walked into a meeting. If it was for my friend taking me and waiting for me I think I would have drove straight past so I’m very thankful for having a friend that supported me on that very first day of my first steps again.
Anyway something great happened to me yesterday which I would love to share. My wife left our family home with my son and I haven’t seen nor spoke to him for nearly 11 weeks. But yesterday out of the blue I had a phonecall from him which has literally put me on cloud 9. 1) it was amazing to speak to him and know that he’s ok. 2) it couldn’t have come at a better time as I was struggling yesterday and really could have caved to have a drink but, I occupied myself with Chores after work and pushed through this craving. 3) I really do feel that I’ve been rewarded for taking them first steps which has not only made me want to fight this horrible illness even more but restored my faith in believing this really does work if you make the effort.
I hope you all have an amazing day. Stay strong 
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Happy Friday to you all first week kids have been on summer holidays and we have done so much already lots of smiles all Rd atm. Today is a stay at home and give myself self care and love day. Have a beautiful day all. X
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Is there another way for you to get rid of the stress ore sense of doom beside eating?
Something physical maybe like running ore working out?
I’m sorry you feel like this, if we lived nearby we could do a coffee together. For now I hope it helps for you to vent here 
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#Day 1409 
Appointment with the surgeon today. Going to reflect the gallblatter operation.
Picture from Kattenstaart flowers I photographed yesterday during my walk
They grow near the ditch. I think in English it’s called the Purple Loosestrife?
See you tomorrow, remember to look around you. When feeling low ore otherwise not good it always helps me to see the beauty in nature.
Nature heals
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Sounds like you are making a lot of good choices for yourself. I really like to follow your story and I can see, how your are moving ahead step by step. Enjoy getting settled in at your new home. Sunny and bright apartments definately help with lifting the mood.
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Day 1 - I relapsed pretty soon after my last check in. So I took some time away to reflect on why I did. By doing so I came to a realisation, that I need to let go.
The relapse happened due to a stressful situation with the flat. It turns out it is electrically heated rather than gas (including the hot water). I assumed it was gas as it had a hot water tank and standard radiators (not storage heaters). The issue being it’s very expensive to run. So my anxiety went into overdrive and I dived into research on costs, alternatives, ways to mitigate the expense, how much it would cost. I was so tightly wound and unable to decide if I should carry on with the purchSe I just snapped.
In this example and in so many aspects of my life I feel like I am swimming against the current. I have spent decades at this point striving single mindedly towards goals or deliberately taking the harder path. Not taking into account the world around me, or stopping for a while to enjoy the moment. I am so prone to falling down rabbit holes that my anxiety rules me.
So I am letting go. Yesterday I took the day as it came, concentrated on each task as it happened. I also let myself sit with my feelings and just experienced them, even the uncomfortable ones. It was a real eye opener, particularly how they came and went. No feeling lasted forever even though I have always felt that nothing will happen unless I change it.
What I have been doing all my life doesn’t work. I am an addict. I have no control over it and that terrifies me in a way I can’t get across in text. I have spent my life needing to control the situation around me as the alternative is unthinkable. But now my goal is as follows:
- Be in the moment
- If I’m feeling something, let it
- Have a break in case of emergencies box for when things get really bad (because they will).
In order to truly do point 1 I need to spend less time on electronic devices. My phone tells me I spend between 3 and 6 hours a day on it. That is not healthy. So I will check in when I can, but I really need a break from tech.
I hope you all have great sober days and I will check in again soon.
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Same here bro. I have found that not making plans has taken alot of stress off myself. Not needing to fill every minute with a “plan”. Keep grinding, keep making your kids proud to call you their dad! We do it through staying on the path we’re on.
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Guy goes into the store and buys a can of raid. He asks the shop keeper “is this good for wasps?”
Shop keeper replies: “no sir, it kills them.”
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Day 777 clean and sober. Not as fun as day 666 was but it is in my nickname 
Have a beautiful day everyone, love you guys!!! 
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