Checking in, day 661. I had a good day, did some work and chores and then took my kids to the forest where they had their first hike on their own. It was a half an hour walk through the woods with a self-drawn map. I followed another path, we met at the bottom of the hill. They enjoyed it a lot and are already planning our next trip.
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Checking in on day 30
Today I had a relaxed day, no sport whatsoever! Tomorrow Iāll go lane swimming! 
Did some grocery shopping in the morning, and in the afternoon I went to the pool. After that, a friend of mine came over to install 2 new taps I bought for the bathroom/shower. I informed my landlord by sending some pictures (I always keep him informed about stuff related to his apartment), and he kindly made a Bizum of 50ā¬! 
My current landlord is really the best Iāve had in 21 years of living on my own. 
Hitting my one month mark today, baby steps! 
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Huge congratulations 
woo hoo!!! Sooo proud of you 
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Thanks Dana! 
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Checking in
Day 196
Honestly today has been really good (but Mondays usual are for me as itās my fav day of the week). I got up and put my son on the bus for school. Had a wicked workout, got some sun, did a meditation on pain (I had a headache and the meditation worked to get rid of it!!), prayed to God, worked on my weight control book which is really showing me alot of things about whats been going on for me and my weight. Basically, I have to work on how I interpret my failures regarding anything that has to do with my weight, being aware of my negative internal dialog and then working on changing that. I also have to stop blaming things and situations for my weight gain and to realize that I am responsible for my own choices and actions. Iāve learnt so much and this is the 1st Key out of 7 to go thru. I did some cleaning also and did some self care. Ate well today and hydrated myself well. I feel good! Iām excited for a personal milestone of mine in recovery which is hitting the 200s in 4 days. Just grateful 
š„²
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Checking in day 5. Gonna try and do an online AA meeting tonight because work was rough today, Iām tired, and Iām not leaving the damn house now that Iām home. @Lovelylisha " Drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on your anxiety". This is so true. I spent years thinking I was drinking away anxiety only to realize how much worse it makes it. Have a great day guys.
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Day 80 
Clocking those days up
Today was meh. That is all. Going to bed soon out of boredom and apathy
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On Day 5,
Checking in for the first time. Iāve have such huge waves of hopelessness that Iāve been fighting through.
I lost my dad a year ago, left a long term abusive relationship at the beginning of this year and then lost my job in May.
In 2020 I was charged with a DUI and maintained sobriety for 2 years, and got it dismissed June 2022.
Since this June Iāve had a few bad periods of time, weeks of drinking.
This is the first time Iām living on my own and Iām so scared and overwhelmed at the responsibility and dire need of financial stability.
Iāve worked in retail and hr/payroll for 10 years with great salary, always able to care for myself but I was never living aloneā¦ I really feel the pressure of not losing myself to this disease.
Iām also looking for a new psychiatrist and counseling and itās all scheduling on an 8-10 week wait.
I feel so down, desperate, and fearful. Thereās been a pit of worry and grief in my stomach for days.
I am feeling at the end of my rope. I donāt know what steps to take to see this through.
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Congratulations on 5 months!!! Huge accomplishment
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I had not heard of that. Thank you so much for the encouragement 
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11 months is Amazing! 
Iām sorry your mum is not recognizing how much you have worked to get here and also how much you help others!
We canāt control others reactions but please donāt let it take away how proud you should be, Iām super proud of you too!
Enjoy your dinner with your son. 
And a HUGE congratulations on 11 months!! 
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Thank you so much for encouraging me. I ended up going to Pilates this morning. First time in the gym in forever. It felt really good to be around others and having a laugh. A friend and I are going to go to the spa today coz weāve both been feeling sad.
Iāll keep checking in
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Day 177
Im in a day long low grade panic attack.
Workday over the only productive thing i did was use the vegetables and leftover pasta before they went bad.
Idfk. I didnt do any of the shit i thought i was going to do. Im not in Crisis and ill still get paid Wednesday but this has fucked with me. Going to use a pto for this and have a 3 day week which i deserve. I laid my clothes out for tomorrow.
Clutter encroaches. I can say I want to forget about the why and be a better person, but i hid in my room and ate and watched my phone and now its nearly 7pm.
Going to set the timer before I post this so I can at least end the post on a note that im trying instead of stewing in misery. Okā¦go:
Well, my room isnt that much better but bed is made, pot is washed, dishes are in dishwasher, some small items put away. A significant change can happen in 15 minutes. I wanted to get more done but i am not giving up.
What do you do to change lethargy into motivation?
Thanks for reading.
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Welcome back! Im sorry you relapsed but it is good to keep checking in here. Please be good to yourself (caring, not enabling)
You can do this!
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I guess I was asking for personal strategies, so that depends on what you get motivated for.
I struggle to move, clean, pay attention, finish personal projects, be in a gentler mindset with myself.
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@moonchild7994 People are still people, so get busy, or forgetful, or lazy, etc. If you arenāt getting the support you need from your current sponsor, the only two options are talk to her about how you need extra support, or search for a new one. Well done on all your hard work on step 4!
@Deep Keep pushing forward, odaat!
@Twizzlers We all want acknowledgement from our loved ones, itās not childish at all. Iām sorry your mum doesnāt realise what a MASSIVE deal 11 months is! But we do! Hope you have a nice dinner with your son.
@Jesile Congrats on one month!
@PiscesHoney Welcome to the forum. That is such a lot to go thru! You have got thru that, you are strong and can do this. The waits for mental health care are abominable. Have you ever tried AA, SMART, etc? You could walk into or log onto a meeting and get support straightaway.
@Minatasha That 15 minutes of tidying was great! Motivation cones after action not before. So do a little something then really appreciate that " it looks better, I did a good job, go me, " to get that motivation flowing for the next thing.
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Thank you 
!
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Well it was a great weekend with my girls. Hit 3 months today. Also had my 1300 dollar bike that I just got stolen from the gym when I got back. Really wanna cry but need to stay strong. Much love
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Iāve tried a couple AA meetings so far. One was great, I plan to continue going to that meeting weekly and another was so volatile and upsetting.
Iāll look into SMART.
Prior to all of this, drinking - Iād had an eating disorder from age 14.
Iām going to keep working toward this. Iām tired to my bones.
I just havenāt gotten it right, I feel like a waste of potential and so much opportunity.
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