Evening Check In Day 254
Thinking back on my day, it was pretty good! I got paid today. Made the 1st payment on my financial amend and then paid other bills. Did some grocery shopping. Bought 2 gifts for xmas (1 for hubby and 1 for our son). Feeling pretty grateful actually bcuz i am able to do these things and spoil my family ince in a while. Money is going to good places and I always feel soo good to have my bills paid on time and even have the money to pay people back! It just feels nice. Of course the hardest part of early xmas shopping is not giving away the surprise haha. I have a bad habit of a spilling the beans bcuz i get excited I got my hubby a really good hand held massager in its own carrying case with like 5 different attachments. Got my son a super fun Hotwheels Driving Mat. He has aprox 600 hotwheels and drives them ALL basically on an older basic car mat that he has now. So this one he will love! I even spoiled myself for a change!! Got myself 5 new makeup things to try tmrw. Excited but hopefuly i dont end up looking like a clown
Tonight i will be starting my old med again. I feel nervous about it. Although im manifesting good things and that it will work out!
Started a dreamcatcher for my sons teacher for her xmas gift. Got the basics laid out for it anyway.
Just have to finish some cleaning and wait for hubby. We are ordering donair pizza tonight. Might go over my eating but ill try to eat mindfully and slowly so I dont overeat.
Hope everyone is having a good day/night!
I hate that she felt like that wasnāt a good fit for you. Iām sure that kinda knocked the wind out of your sail for a minute. Have you tried any adult coloring books? I know itās not professional art therapy, but it is therapeutic for me. (And it gives me a giggle every tike somebody asks what Iām doing and I tell them Iām coloring ) Have you tried any other forms of therapy? Luckily there are tons of different types aside from your traditional one-one-one or group therapies. Maybe talk to her and see if she has any suggestions if you arenāt interested in the traditional route.
Thatās awesome that you immediately found something to be grateful for in the situation. That always helps give me a little pick me up if I can find one simple positive in a negative situation.
Hey everyone. Just evening check in. Finally got off my butt long enough to make some hot food. Been snacking for dinner all week. Been in a pretty unfocused mood, going from YouTube, to games on the phone, and finally finished a movie. Felt a little teary eyed. Which is good; you ever want to cry so you can feel better afterward? I know, thatās weird. Probably go to bed early tonight. Have a good night/morning!
got back from the hospital a few hours ago and slept off the hangover
iām putting myself into a detox program tomorrow, and iām gonna stay sober all night tonight.
the shaking is just as bad today, i feel like thereās a rope around the inside of my chest that keeps tightening every time i try to get out of bed. i got up to check in on here and let yaāll know iām alive and doing better. i need something to do before i lose my damn mind.
Hugs. Feeling like shit sucks. Once you get thru it then you donāt have to do it ever again so long as you donāt put the booze back in your system. Getting a program to help you sounds smart.
Checking in sober. Lately Iāve found a lot of acceptance with myself and life. Itās been nice. letting go of what I thought I was going to be like and just accepting how I amā¦ Itās peaceful. But like everything, itās a struggle to find balanceā¦ Like what is it that I should accept as isā¦ And what should I work harder for. I heard recently on a podcast that if itās draining my energy and holding me back, I should let it go. Alcohol definitely was holding me back and trying to moderate was exhausting (and highly unsuccessful). That was a good one to let go of.
This hit me for some reason. Its such a simple yet powerful statement! And i dont think its an easy task. But i like ur progress and ur insight. I will need to reflect on this i think. Hope u have a great night!
Proud of you @kamj for setting up a supervised detox. Hopefully they can hook you up with a more long term supportive program after detox. Drink plenty of water. Eat when you can. This can be the last time you have to go thru this. Take it one day at a time
thereās a few cases of COVID and RSV at the daycare I work at. Iād say about half of our staff and children have been out sick. several have COVID and/or RSV. I didnāt feel anything until today, started getting a headache and sore throat while at work today. sore throat has been getting pretty bad as the day goes on. I tested negative for COVID. hopefully no more symptoms pop up
I got a smart watch a while ago and it tracks my heart rate during sleep to detect which stage of sleep Iām in. I typically sleep 10 hours at least but wake up exhausted. this last week Iāve been actually looking at the sleep data. I typically donāt even get a full hour of REM sleep. usually 30-45 minutes. Iām debating getting a sleep study done.
something positive: my Lego set got here yesterday and Iāve been building like crazy. itās a 6000 piece Hogwarts Castle. this is my progress today
Had my first session with my online therapist today. I had been getting a little frustrated; we have been messaging, as is part of the package, but I would detail events or feelings at length, and get a super short reply, so was wondering if it was worth it, but the video session was pretty good. She gave some practical pointers, and I felt heard, but also was given a new perspective about a couple of things.
Day 9, so far so good
Keeping myself busy has been working out well for me. Trying to fill my days with more stuff, been meaning to sign up for a trade school. Take some actual welding classes to fill in whatever gaps Iām not aware of while working/looking for a new job
ā¦ I feel you.
Itās so much about daily practice.
Sometimes I think, I got it.
Another day I think, I didnāt learn anything.
Sometimes I try to reflect situations and persons as another challenge and excersise in my workbook of life.
Good morning everyone, my week off and ive picked another days work up. Another S.M.A.R.T meeting tonight. Being sober i am more organised and feel like I have a purpose and some structure to my life.
Catch you all later.
Another dark morning here in the North Eastern region of England, and its day 64 for me I was thinking yesterday, that in that time, Iāve seen 3 Prime Ministers, two of which have resigned, and a third was announced yesterday
Iām looking forward to getting back to my first meeting in well over a month tonight. Iāve missed having that safe space to be able to express myself verbally and have the knowledge that it will not be mentioned outside of the room. Itāll also be good to see and catch-up with members who I havenāt been in contact with since the last time I attended. Iām looking forward to it.
I was in the town yesterday having to pick up some bits and doing some errands, and I decided to stop in the local pub that I used to frequent. I had bought myself a paper, had an hour or two spare, so I decided to get myself a Coke and just relax. I felt perfectly ok, and I didnāt sense any triggers or bad thoughts/feelings. Someone who I used to work with, and who I would often see drinking daily was also in - when he saw me, he looked at my drink and uttered: āDrinking Coke today?ā, to which I responded: āIāve been drinking Coke for over two months. Sober and cleanā, with a big smile on my face. It felt good to be present. I finished my Coke and then left for home.
Have a fantastic day everybody, whatever your plans may be. ODAAT.
What a great decision you have made for yourself.
This time will pass and your be so gratefull for your choice.
I just wanted to say im super proud of you for staying strong and making a life changing decision to help through this difficult time.
We are here for you so you have us and your not alone. I am thinking of you today, i have you in my prayers
Evening Check In 
I got my hubby a really good hand held massager in its own carrying case with like 5 different attachments. Got my son a super fun Hotwheels Driving Mat. He has aprox 600 hotwheels and drives them ALL basically on an older basic car mat that he has now. So this one he will love! I even spoiled myself for a change!! Got myself 5 new makeup things to try tmrw. Excited but hopefuly i dont end up looking like a clown 
) Have you tried any other forms of therapy? Luckily there are tons of different types aside from your traditional one-one-one or group therapies. Maybe talk to her and see if she has any suggestions if you arenāt interested in the traditional route.
I was thinking yesterday, that in that time, Iāve seen 3 Prime Ministers, two of which have resigned, and a third was announced yesterday 
