hello @waywardwanderer hope you are doing okay through the holidays, thinking about you xoxo
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I was missing you, went looking for you and see your post. Big hugs my friendā¦ glad your boy is getting good care and hope he is better each second. Sending you Christmas love xoxo
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Thank u. Ur post actually meant alot to me. Im glad we are here, even tho it completely sucks. Hes getting the help he needs. Big hugs to u. Thank u for looking for me in the posts 
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Please give this to him, with loveā¦ and healing prayers and wishes.
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Evening check in
Day 315
We are still in hospital. We were recently moved to an actual unit as an in patient. Hes getting oxygen and support for what he needs. He is still struggling with his chest congestion.
Ive gone thru numerous emotions. Everything from guilt (about sending him to school where he got sick), to anxiety and worry, to anger and sadness (over my sons condition). Im tired. And im feeling slightly sick myself. My body is screaming to sleep and to have a shower for self care. Sleep i will try to get but the shower i cant get until tmrw when hubby arrives to watch him.
Im grateful for the hospital and grateful that hes here. Im grateful for u all bcuz i dont feel so alone right now. And im definitely grateful for my recovery and for God. This too shall pass tho. This situation wont last forever. Just need to push myself thru this and help my boy the best way i can.
Just thank you all for being here. Sometimes i just read when i dont have the energy to type. And u all help me more than u know. Hugs
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Aweeee ur gonna make me cry lol i absolutely will show him this. Thank youā¦ hugs back 
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Sending you lots of hugs and love! I know itās hard to sleep in the hospital, but hopefully yāall can get a few hours at least. Iām glad they have brought him up to a room to give him the care he needs. And you couldnāt have known he would get sick. Iām sure he was excited to get back to school after the long break, and you were both looking forward to getting back to normal. Iām so sorry heās sick and yāall are postponing your celebrations. But when he is better and comes home itāll be they much sweeter to celebrate together then. 
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I love u lady! 
youre absolutely right. It will be soo nice to see his happy, healthy self opening up presents later on. He just needs to get thru this. I will attempt to sleep when i can hugs my friend. Hope ur doing well
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Hey congratulations on 1 month!!! Huge milestone 
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Day 527
Merry Christmas sober family!
Made it through w/O indulging yay
Never again as Menno says 
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You mean everything to us. Turn that frown upside down youāre not alone. And remember feelings are just feelings youāre actions are everything. The fact you have not self harmed is amazing congratulations 
Iām sure there are lurkers here that see you not giving in and that gives them hope you make a difference I hope you know that.
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Hey Karen, you can absolutely do this and that youāve not drunk so far even tho you feel shitty is proof of that. Iām proud of you. Even if it feels as it does now, youāre doing it sober.
You donāt need it. It doesnāt help and you need to stop making yourself believe it does. You know itās lies. Donāt go back home with the mindset that youāll go back to the bottle. You can fight this out. Itās up to you and you alone. You have that choice.
It would be good to de-tangle the current mass of anxiety inducing unpleasantness ahead of you. I think I read of a non-judgemental sister somewhere. Can you grab that sister and tell her to just shut up and listen to you and be there for you for 30min while you tell her how hard it is and cry it out? Get a few hugs? Get some human connection? That is THE antidote to depression and that feeling that youāre all alone forever with your shit and nothing will ever change.
You are with family and they care or they would not have intived you up. I know family can be horribly difficult, Iāve posted about my own often enough, but it seems they as least want you there and care. So you can engineer a situation where you actually get to feel some of their love for you. I think that would be good. You seem incredibly lonely to me. But loneliness is never a one sided thing. Is has the aspects of something being given and also of something being received and being able to fall into soft soil so it can leave a mark. So to speak.
Next step. You are on a sobriety forum. Have you looked around at the myriads of other threads and what ppl do on here to get and stay sober? Which of these things are you doing? Cos just not drinking does not work, especially not if you got mental health issues. Iām one of the lucky ones with a very demanding and kamikazi brain aswell so you can take my word for it. I donāt know if you seen this: Resources for our recovery
Look through, pick three things, make one of them AA zoom meetings and start today.
I also advise for one to be some form of exercise, can be any thing you want/donāt hate, because being in your body creates mindfulness and relaxation that helps with depression too. Thatās why a lot of ppl exercise in in the first place. Me too.
Stick with your things. If you hate them, mix and match. But give the meetings a fair chance. Couple of months. Transfer to f2f at some point since you are so alone. Itāll help. Keep us updated on your progress. Thats one thing you already are doing that is very beneficial, staying connected here, so thatās plus.
You can do this Karen, there is no reason you cannot if I could and I was just as miserable as you, and so many others could say the same. but you gotta kick into gear and find the things that you need to do to get and stay sober. We all have to do that. It does not just happen. For anyone. You can. You can. You can.
Weāre here for you supporting you. Especially us other folks with miserable hurting brains.
Edit I hear thereāll be a TS zoom today so imma put that link to the relevant thread here TS zooms! Welcome! - #187 by Mephistopheles.
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1297
Have as good a day as you can all friends. Sober and clean. Love from my place.
@Juli1 Glad youāre back friend. Weāre in this together. One day at a time.
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271 days
Hey guys. Iām struggling a bit at the moment. Iām still sober, Iāve made it through Christmas. It just sucks. My routine is all out of whack since the new job, Iāve been eating poorly, my brain wonāt quit freaking out about it. Everyone is bloody drinking, everywhere. All over socials is just booze and parties and I just feel so crappy and left out and sorry for myself.
I had a nice Christmas, but this silly season has been tough and Iām just feeling really down atm.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Hopefully I can get my self care and routine back, and I feel better soon. Just gotta stay sober. Drinking isnāt gonna fix anything.
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Keep moving on!! All those that push downing poison as a society normal are a little lost imo. I just think about all the damage and how short outside of the hour of being numb. Fill what they donāt show about the complete mind fuck, shitty sleep, hangovers, dehydrationā¦ itās a long list of hellš Iām fresh into this so all the bad is still very fresh for me.
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My new job is actually benefiting my self care routines and healing modalities but being on the wrong side of that is tough and this is a first for me. Hope you can regain yourself that way soon 
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I miss routines too. Holidays Jack those all up. I honestly donāt know what day it is. It will pass, though. Glad you checked in.
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Best pep talk ever. Well done. Grateful for you.
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I am so sorry that you are in the hospital with your son. Your gratitude for the care you are receiving is right on. I admire your attitude of gratitude. Hope you can get home soon and get that shower!
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Day 927 clean and sober. What a shit show of a holiday in my head this weekendā¦ fuck it was crazy in there. Glad I was working even though I really just wanted to sleep through it all. Iām off on holiday paying and taking my single, depressed and lonely self to the mountains and heal. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys 
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