This morning was pretty good. I woke up feeling refreshed.
Ive been eating healthier and wayyyyy cutting down on the vape and I think the both of these help with my sleeping.
I went from 0.6mg of vape all day long to 0.3mg every hour at the least and sometimes I can go 4 hours without the 0.3mg vape.
In the morning I’m just starting going longer without starting the vape.
Let’s keep up the progress
Day 43. Feeling so good today and so positive. Have navigated a lot of triggers in recent weeks. The biggest is ahead with a 3 week trip with extended family in June. Hope to be in much more solid ground at that time. Have a good day everyone doing the best you can for yourselves
Thank you
I’ve been a heavy smoker sence I was 13
That habbit is no good. Wicked unhealthy
This is my thirteenth day one. Desperate for this to be my last day 1. Trying to stay busy.
Hi Sarah, glad to see you’re back on the saddle. You are courageous and tenacious and I admire that. You deserve respect, from yourself and from your peers; you are walking forward on a bewildering, challenging journey, and you are not giving up. If you keep learning and keep an open mind, you will find what you need to be the person you are: fully you, fully present, fully sober.
I took the liberty (I hope you won’t mind) of scanning your posts since you joined in February. There is a common theme of going-it-alone, and there is heartbreak too, a sense of loneliness and deep yearning to connect and be the recipient of connection from people who care about you (your story captures this deep aching feeling: My story: Just wanted to share my story).
Being lonely and being addicted go hand in hand. Our addictions create patterns in our brains and our behaviour where we instinctively isolate (even if we’re physically with other humans we’re not really there); we form a relationship with our addiction, which in its backwards way becomes our “companion”, always there when we need it.
We addicts are alone. We are always alone, in addiction.
In recovery we connect (some of us learn for the first time) and have meaningful, fulfilling relationships. This is one of the reasons why recovery groups serve such an important role. The effort - all the imperfect, courageous, tenacious effort to connect and be honest and true - that effort, with other people who care about you, fills a deep human need, and it is helpful.
Courageous, tenacious effort. Sound like anyone you know?
I know your faith is important to you. Have you tried Celebrate Recovery? They have an app where you can connect with their biblically inspired recovery program:
https://www.celebraterecovery.com/what-we-offer/find-a-cr-meeting
You’re a good person and you deserve to be your full self. You are in a heartbreaking space now, yes, but you are far from being lost. I promise you will find what you need if you reach out and connect, try something new. You can do it. You are a good human and a good mother and you can do it.
Checking in on day 341.
Generally feeling good at the moment. The kids and I are enjoying the Easter break and having nice breakfasts and chilling out. My daughter has been looking through my wardrobe for clothes to try out. She’s going for a “dark academia” look.
When I was out earlier today I saw my “ex” that I ended up having to distance myself from last year. He tried to say hello, and then when I got home I saw that he’d sent an email asking why I wasn’t speaking to him. He’s saying he stopped drinking a few weeks back, and part of me feels that I should be encouraging him, but the list of things I’m upset at him for is actually pretty lengthy and I wouldn’t know where to start.
My son has been asking if we can go somewhere (like Dublin) for his birthday in July. Flights seem reasonably priced but accommodation seems really expensive. That’s what I’m going to spend the evening researching.
Wishing everyone a sober day!
I really appreciate your insightful wisdom @Matt . You nailed it for me and I’m grateful for that. I learn new things here daily. I just came from my weekly Al-anon meeting. There was so much love expressed today in the shares. It’s so beautiful when people have the courage to change. I am so blessed. I receive love from everywhere I look. I’m not sure gratitude is a big enough word. Hope your day is blessed.
Welcome back Sarah. It’s commendable, to put it mildly,that you have the courage to keep trying. I just read Matt’s response to you. Imho he laid some wisdom on you. I feel strongly that we do this together. I know I certainly need support from others. Lean into this community for whatever you feel you need. We got this ODAAT! All the best.
462 days no alcohol. And if I have had a lot of triggers latley, ohh my! But not one drop. Had I drank I would not be abel to stand strong in my role as a mother and a rolemodel. It have been a few tough weeks.
Much love to you all 
Wow.
Thank you 
Thank you so much
Day 187
Not much going on rn, I’m doing good and still no cravings in sight.
I had to get my bike fixed again, the saddle was too low. Now I can bike perfectly 
Slurping coffee now, at 9 pm 
We’ll see how the night is going to be hahaha.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Day 34 and going well. Hoping to keep on keeping on. Looking forward to long weekend
Day 6. Still not eating much. Mood all over the place. But went for a walk, spoke to my counselor, and still sober.
I love all of this post.
Thanks for sharing. You really have been through a lot 
But you have got through it and are thriving now!
The couple who own the ranch I’m tending in New Mexico got back yesterday. When they left for vacation a couple of weeks ago they offered me a bottle of wine & I told them I wasn’t drinking. Fast forward to last night and they both were drinking, she had wine & he had a small Scotch. Again they offered & again I simply declined, didn’t make a big deal out of it. They only know me as a daily drinker (like she is), but I always controlled myself around them. I know she, like me, has to control it & normally she sticks to one glass of wine. But last night she had 1/2 the bottle and I could see her personality shift a bit, kind of like she got heavier. Last time I drank I noticed my own personality change as well. Freaky what that shit does to people. Still enjoying the image of pouring a drink from the gas pump, lol, not very appealing. Anyway, checking in sober.
Courage.
You are full of it.
Thank you for sharing, sending you a big squeeze.
Day 89. Surviving.