Glad you are safe at home homieđ!
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405 days checking in 
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Welcome! Glad ur here 
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Welcome â this is a wonderful community full of love and support. You will be among friends here. Wish you the best on your journey. Hope you are also equipping yourself with other tools to help out with your sobriety (ie. meetings (in person or online), activities / hobbies to keep you busy, a possible sponsor, changing your daily habits to keep you away from your DOCâŚetc).
So glad to see you here - hope to see you around
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Welcome to the community!
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Checking in
Day 449
Today has stirred up some fears, worries, and anxiety. All of these emotions for me are future-based and often times they are things I have absolutely no control over, such as worries of my son getting sick and ending up in the hospital or anxiety over his issues that he sometimes has at school etc. These emotions come up every so often and thankfully I know what works for me in order to get rid of them.
Today I woke up and got my son on the bus for school. I had a Bible study group via zoom that I attended. Then I went for a Shoulder and cardio workout. I did some major cleaning today (probably trying to distract myself from my emotions but at least the apartment looks great 
). I have eaten well today so far also, so I am happy about that.
I feel though that I am needing to get back into meditation more. I am needing that still, quiet time to observe and listen. Ive been getting the urge to constantly be busy, busy, busy all the time and I know that for myself, this isnt always good. Usually when I am purposely making myself busy and finding things to constantly do, it means that I am trying to avoid something (such as certain thoughts or to avoid working on a problem etc). I use the busy-ness of my day to distract me from looking at myself. I feel like theres something to look at but idk what just yet. I have been working SO hard on my recovery and with that connection to my HP, that maybe its time to go a little deeper into my healing. Meditation and prayer will hopefully give me some answers and direction. But ya⌠this busy-ness is beginning to exhaust me 
Anyway, hope everyone is doing well! Great to see some new faces and some returning ones joining us on the forum again 
Have a great addiction free day/evening everyone!
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Evening of Day 2. Had a good therapy session today.
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@Deelzebub Having kids and finding time for yourself is difficult I do hope you get that relaxing bath in tonight and are able to get some restful hours of sleep.
@Sabrina80 Looking forward to seeing what you cook with your Asian yummies â do post when you make the dish :Yum
@Juli1 So happy to seeing your sober check inâs. Itâs fabulous that you are using the tools in your toolbelt and actively making changes to keep your sobriety on track. So very proud of you my friend.
@RosaCanDo Sucks being sick â I do hope you are getting some rest and being taken care of. Hope you heal soon.
@CATMANCAM Damn our bodies and minds some times. Itâs so difficult getting chores / items completed when all your cells are screaming at you. I do have hope that this will get better my friend. Glad you are able to wind down now. That nightmare was very disturbing â Thankfully it is over! Hoping for a nightmare free slumber tonight.
@Butterflymoonwoman The unknown of the future can be very fearful and cause so much anxiety. I am sorry that you were filled with such intense emotions today. Just knowing that you have no control over them sometimes makes it worse. Its great that you know how to manage them when they arise. Hope that you were able to quiten the fears/worries/ anxious thoughts. I too tended to get myself super busy to avoid (not sure exactly what) but found that it led to unhealthy habits and severe exhaustion that led to chronic fatigue. Only mentioning this to let you know that you need to find time to relax and not always be on the go go go⌠like they say âeverything in moderationâ I am still learning this lesson so I totally understand it is extremely difficult â just donât want you to burn yourself out.
Evening check in â
Yet again, started the day with little pain and some energy but that dwindled very quickly. I was able to make a meal today and take some over to my folks to enjoy (they literally live a block away). I had mild urges today but I focused on myself and did a constant reminder of all the bad âmorning aftersâ from the alcohol and remembering how nasty of a habit smoking is. I am gaining days on my timers and really do not want to reset any of them. I am sober, enjoying my dinner and looking forward to getting some sleep tonight.
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You got this! Hang in there. Totally worth it!
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Had a rough weekend. I had to change my schedule last minute then i found out i was going to have to see someone i do not like. The first time i met her she commented on how pretty i would be if i lost weight⌠Iâve disliked her since. It brought me back to my childhood and family life. Never good enough, pretty but fat. She gave a look of disgust at my purple hair. I just avoided her. When i did have to interact i was pleasant. But i wanted to tell her to see what itâs like to support herself and not rely on a man to 100% support her. We cant all spend our lives revolving around diet and exerciseâŚughâŚ
The whole situation made me want to get some weed. but i did not. i did binge eat though⌠just what i need to be doing 
. I am struggling to get away from sugar now. I have to detox from it again. I honestly think this is the hardest addiction for me to deal with. Food and sugar have been my best friend since childhood.
I am starting to accept myself as i am though. If people donât like something about how i look, f*ck em. Look the other way. Iâm over trying to impress others and be what others think i should be. I take care of myself and my son and we are both healthy. Iâm not perfect but nobody is, no matter how much they think they are.
I need strength to get through these cravings. Being out and about for work makes it so easy to stop and get snacks, but I hate resetting my time. I know i can do this again
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Oh Crystal - i totally understand having to deal with people that i find toxic. Im sorry she has made you feel bad about yourself.
Great attitudeâ yes- fuck off with your negative opinions (i say this over and over when around judgemental people).
Take care of yourself love! You are doing great.
Sugar /food can be our go to cravings when we are giving up addictions. Ive found flavored rice cakes to help me when im in the mood to snackâŚthey are delicious and hit the sweet craving imo and then i also pan fry in light sesame oil prickly water lily aka makana. Both are light in calories and hit the snack itch. I slowly got away from those in time too but they were a great gateway.
Be kind to yourself. Wishing you the best of luck.
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@mewmcmew Im sorry that ur having a rough day its awful what she said to u. People sometimes dont realize how hurtful words can be. Especially around sensitive subjects⌠
This is huge! And often the changes we do want to see then happens when we begin to have that acceptance of ourselves. Change then comes from a place of love instead of us loathing ourselves and hating those things about us. And ur right, absolutely no one on this planet is perfect.
I too also struggle with food and sugar cravings. Its tough! Especially when my mind is very preoccupied with food. I am an emotional eater and have in the past binge ate also. I do find tho that preparing my meals and snacks ahead of time helps.
Can u bring healthy options to snack on while ur out and about? That way, it may prevent stopping for something potentially unhealthy while ur on the go.
I really hope ur day/evening improves
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Yes!!! Me too!! I eat the choc chip ones and it really helps to curb that craving when i feel the need to snack on something
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1431
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Spent my free Monday well, had coffee with an friend from last yearâs schema therapy group, and went to my favourite market in town, the Monday only flower and plant market at Amstelveld. Got some new green stuff for my balcony and installed that. Cooked some good old fashioned pasta with red sauce. En was in bed very early.
So feeling alright now and about ready to go begin my workweek. Three early shifts followed by a four day weekend yay! Hope youâre all doing well. Just be absolutely sure drinking or using or indulging in any addictive behaviour doesnât help with anything, good or bad. X
@sigurdurerik Huge congrats on a full year sober vriend!!!
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Congratulations @sigurdurerik on one year!
Congratulations @CATMANCAM and @Misokatsu on hitting quadruple digits! You guys are awesome!
Feel better soon @RosaCanDo!
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Checking in 176 days sober as i head to bed, coming up on 6 months⌠i cant believe it. Time felt like it was standing still for the first 90 days, now its flying. 24 hours at a time is all i can focus on, not having a drink TODAY.
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Checking in. Day 213
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Day 220
What a morningâŚI was biking to my train stop when I suddenly heard a voice you donât wanna ever hear when somewhere outsideâŚI ripped my pants 
So I had to get back home to change clothes.
Very much looking forward to a coffee now.
And I have to buy new pants now, I hate that. Finding pants that fit AND look good is a pain.
@JazzyS I posted the picture already yesterday 
But wasnât able to edit afterwards to add the ingredients I used.
See you later fam 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 38. Trying to stay productive and busy. Went for a long walk with doggos. Beautiful weather. Lady hormones finally settling down, so that always helps my mood! 
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