Just doing a night time check in. Well worked on that cover up today and it’s turning out ok, still have a lot more id like to do with it, then i came home and honestly was going to sit in my apartment, i felt bad bc my girls are out at camp and i wasn’t. So i went out to camp and hung out for a little bit, the girls were being pretty difficult, lots of arguing between each other. And fighting over who gets to pay for ice cream because the ice cream truck came and they both wanted to pay. At first my mom just took the money and said neither were getting ice cream, and then they through even more of a fit. So she gave it back, and then we compromised and gave both their own money to pay. I didn’t stay the night tho, i just wanted to come home Tonight and ill go back out tomorrow and spend the night. Part of that makes me feel guilty and like i should of been there tonight. I hope you all had a good beautiful night and got through it sober and blessed, much love everyone.
@thumper1213 I do hope you are feeling better Billy. Congrats to 13+ days of sobriety
Great job my friend! Glad you did not give in to the urges my friend. You should be very proud of yourself.
You are doing amazing Delia. I’m so sorry today was so emotional for you. I think that your 78 days uninterrupted is absolutely fantastic and you should be super proud of your accomplishments. I do hope the relaxing mediation helped.
@bomdhil so good to have you back. Hope you had a fantastic pilgrimage. Grateful that you are alert of your triggers and are staying ahead of them. So impressed with how well you are doing!
@catmancam I can totally relate to getting your energy zapped from over socializing. I do hope that being back at the house was not uncomfortable for you. Hopefully you will get some time to decompress this week with all that you have been going on.
@icebear Well done on your 800 days Drew! Glad you had a great time with friends in Austria
So sorry that you did reset but proud of you acknowledging how far you have come and getting back on track. I think you have been doing great work Sheena
Lovely Amy – glad that today was better for you. Glad that the idea of going back to school is exciting.
@bones_80 So good to hear from your Ian. I am sorry for all that you are going through. Hoping that your pain levels have gotten better. Grey’s Anatomy is awesome and a good distraction – keep enjoying
Checking in on Sunday night
242 free of alcohol and weed
657 free of cigarettes
well it’s been a day for sure - ive been having severe itchiness all over and pain was a bit much so not a productive day at all. Been in and out mentally. Wanting to drink or smoke weed but will not do so - it’s just my addict voice saying its going to make things better - i do know it will only make everything worse. Thank you Ian - i needed to read “consequences are horrible”
Wishing everyone has a positively charged addiction free day - sending you all much love 
You are doing amazing. Day 3 no weed!!! And all those other days too not smoking and no alcohol. You are kicking ass! Xo.
Been told to quit smoking too as it will make me worse 
don’t know if have the will to quit tbh 
Feel better girl. Rocking it 
I’m sorry love - it is hard - i honestly didn’t think it was possible but now going on 21 months so it is possible.
It’s different journey for everyone but i know its doable. Have you had a chance to check out the quit smoking thread? It has some great advise.
Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products)
we are right here with you my friend - you can overcome this addiction too!
Aaah thanks Mike - appreciate you!
I am glad that you were able to go back and spend time with the girls today and plan to go back tomorrow. Please do not feel guilty about coming back to your apartment tonight. You are an amazing Dad and i know your girls feel the love.
Do hope you get to enjoy a quiet evening in your own space tonight.
Thanks I’ll have a look 
Awe thank u Laura! I appreciate u saying that. It sort of puts things into perspective for me 
realizing that what im going thru now is just a small portion of the bigger picture. Hope ur having a good night
@DLS I love your idea Donna! I actually used to box when i was 16 and found it very therapeutic. Never thot of taking that up again. Even just to get a bag to punch and let off sone steam. Great idea! Thank u!
@JazzyS thank u always my dear friend for ur support. U made me smile 
ur right… we have to do whatever it takes to keep pushing forward. I do feel better right now. Im not so hyperfocused on the past anymore. I have no idea why that all came up today. But maybe its showing me areas that i need to work on. Idk. But grateful to be clean and sober and also not having acted out on my ED. So all n all today has been good! Hows ur night?
@danam56 i didnt end up screaming out loud but i did internally lol probably doesnt have the same effect but still. Will definitly have to try that one day to move that energy around. They should really develop classes for screaming. Where people can go once or twice a week, have a sharing circle, and then just scream. I bet it would be popular lol
SO very happy to hear that you are doing better. i know i’ve spent time wondering why things suddenly change for the worse or why we suddenly have sensations / urges out of the blue. Really have not been able to get a good answer. I just know that we need to be prepared to handle them when they arise – just like you did today - by reaching out here, doing what you needed to get you back to your positive cheerful self.
i’m good - just dealing with my stuff- laughing and screaming to help keep me mentally fit 
i am binge watching a lot of tv which is helping me loads. grateful that my mom dropped of some dinner for me - she is a gem. the day did change direction on me but it’s all good - i did not give in to my DOC’s.
Day 64
Feeling much better today. I tend to be reactive but I’m working on that. Nothing has changed. My ex is an ex for a reason. He abandoned me in our marriage so not sure why I thought it would be different now.
My brother who has 20+ years in sobriety tell me that his behavior has nothing to do with me which is true but o don’t have to allow it or tolerate anymore. It saddens me because I did depend on him for support but perhaps he’s holding me back from moving forward.
I’m so appreciative of all of the support I receive here. Thank you everyone. Sleep well.
Day 186, I think.
I slept in til 1! Of course, I wasn’t in bed until 4am so it really wasn’t extra sleep. I did get some lounging done. Watched a couple hours of Netflix until I felt the need to get moving. So I did get a couple chores done too. My back is still hurting, but that’s not unusual. I go to the chiropractor tomorrow anyway. Just in time.
I could hear my daughter crying in her room just now and asked her what was wrong. She said she missed Zombie, our old dog, who died 3 years ago. She and her dad were dog sitting his neighbors dog this weekend who looked just like him. I miss him too, and haven’t had the heart (or time) to replace him. It breaks my heart when she cries and there’s nothing I can do. I gave her Krieger(cat) to pet, who seemed to understand she needed him, and stayed on her bed.
Well, nothing much else happened. Hoping for warm weather tomorrow so we can swim again after our appointment. Have a good night everyone
Day 50
Feeling a lot better from my nasty cold. Back to walking and working out. I’ve been cooking and meal-prepping in the evenings for the next day, which is something I’ve always envied other people doing lol. Who knew you could get so much more done when not wasting away drinking! Haha!
I’ve got plans to hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow evening and into Tuesday, so that’ll be nice, since it’s been a minute. I’m going to my local AA meeting tomorrow at noon. Seems like a good way to start the week.
I’ve been sorting through stuff to donate or potentially sell, which is a good feeling. My hair needs some attention, so I’ll be dying it a darker/cool brown within the next couple days (I just do it myself). I’m also LONG overdue for a hair trim. I’m looking forward to freshening up a bit.
That’s it for now.
Much love, Sober Fam 
Day 7
Checking in on a hot day in germany, one of my 2 or 3 last days office in presence before leaving the company. Have to wear my imaginary protection coat today 
I made it to one week…
Doing a recovery program this time, did some work, made some first changes.
My commitment to stay sober today is clear!
Much love
Day 26. I’m not sure what I miss about drinking. I suppose it was the lie that I built up in my head, the beast telling me that a couple of beers would go down lovely of an evening…the first 6 would be great! But the following 40 over a 3 day bender would be a blur of sneaking around, taking risks and being an absolute piece of sh*it. When it kicks off you are just along for the ride. I’m not driving the beast is and all you can do is hang on for dear life until you come out of it.
Thankfully I’ve kept it at bay for nearly 4 weeks. I’ve tied myself into so many promises to myself and others that if I arrived home with some beers it would not go down we’ll so that helps out a block on me picking up that initial couple of beers that would open the door for the beast.
Monday morning, work is calling, stressors coming at me but we’ll take them on the chin deal with them and address them through other means.
Good luck today, don’t open the door to the beast.
Day 315
It’s been a big day, very busy. Tomorrow will be an appointment, then work.
Just checking these days off one at a time
Love of love everyone 
Checking in for day 4.
The last night was tough. We tried to sleep in our new apartment but the air mattress was wasted. So we went to my brother in law house right in the middle of the night to get some sleep. Exhausting…
Hi All, checking in on Day 48. Slept badly so struggling a little this Monday morning 
Finishing my coffee then ready to start my working day, week. I am unsettled at work at the moment but think it is just a phase.
Realised recently that I have dumped decades worth of stuff recently, this experience has been so good for me in working through things and letting go. I am sure holding onto the bad things was affecting my health (chronic fatigue syndrome and all the neuro stuff). I am feeling really positive and so much calmer. Naturally I still have problems, but they are my reality now, not holding onto things from a long time ago. I no longer freeze when I see an ambulance, or expect negative things as was my pattern before.
Onwards and upwards. Wishing everyone a peaceful and sober day.
Good solid job distinguishing the voices👍. Can get tiring to have to constantly be on our own butts and inspect our innermost thoughts. But you’re doing it one day at a time still.
It personally helps me when I think of /refer to my addict voice as the “hurt part of my brain” or my “fried brain”.
This came from a scientific documentary I saw about how while drinking/ using, the memory creation in our brain drastically changes!
The result is unnaturally strong memories that burn themselves into our brains, with several times the intensity of any memories we make while sober.
So quite literally our brains are branded with memories about using. The mental picture is clear.
When I think of it that way, I have less fear / hatred towards this unwelcomed voice in my head. I have more sympathy and will feel the urge to do my body / brain’s health sth good. Eat / drink sth healthy, go for a walk, learn a new language, whatever.
My brain: Really, sincerely want to use
Me: There, there Fried Brain
Congratulations on everybody’s sober counts! 
My dear sweet community I am so grateful to you.
Every single person here makes me feel better.