I feel the same any time we’re visiting Germany. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side 
Glad I’m not the only one who struggle with this, I recognized myself in pretty much everything you’re describing. All is well, couldn’t be better and then and there I just loose it and it gets me from out of the blue.
Hopefully it works better this time. And I’ll stay sober.
Great job on your double digits! Hope your headache is gone – if not, maybe try placing a cold cloth over forehead and eyes while simultaneously placing a warm cloth at the nape of your neck helps relieve migraines / intense headaches.
I totally get your feelings and it’s not selfish at all. It is a lot of responsibility and i can imagine the anxiety of possibly things changing quickly. I am grateful that you will have nurses and in home care. We will continue to send you positive healing vibes my friend. Deep breathes my friend.
Much love Sophia! I do hope things got easier for you.
Just saw your update - grateful your husband is home safely and the home medical care doesn’t seem so daunting. We are here for you 
Thank you. The headache eventually disappeared. Probably with a lot of tension that I’ve build up during all this.
I’m sure things will turn out the the best, it usually does. Thank you for all your support and kind words 
Got some time before my hair appointment so I wanted to check in. Put my head on the pillow sober last 2 nights and will do so again tonight. Odaat. I’ve consistently gone to The Luckiest Club meetings and have given out my number & taken some. I have never done that before. Turns out there are 3 sober people near my new home in New Mexico and they want to connect in person. I hope to close on the house mid September and get connected with them. What I’m realizing is I’ve never really been able to connect with anyone deeply, not my Buddhist community (I’m too off the cuff and I love the F word 
), not horse people (I don’t ride my horse and give him choices of what he’d enjoy doing, which is unusual and can trigger others who only want to ride). So finding connection through sobriety is an amazing surprise. I’m feeling really lucky
9
Evening checkin.
No shit in the fridge.
No urges.
Bit shaky, wasn’t that hungry today, need to make dinner soon to fill up some energy.
Will try to relax with some TV tonight.
Much love
20 whole days! that’s absolutely brilliant! I am glad that you are not giving room for your enemies to take hold of your thinking.
Grateful that you are focusing on the positive and finding motivations to get moving - get something done.
checking in on the gratitude thread every day really helps me put life into perspective and gives me hope to tackle the day – Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #4
or
Gratitude List. 5 things daily
the mediation thread is also amazing - great finds to help lift you up while calming you down
Meditation for Serenity 2023! (tips, tricks & discussion/ 2 years running woot!)
38 days sober I am doing well although last night dropped the remote control to the AC in the dog water now it doesn’t work. Also my rumba named Gordy ran away. Last I saw it, It was under our bed, but it never docked in its station and it’s no longer under the bed, but I can take it on thanks to sobriety…
@timetochange Congrats on 2 months of sobriety! You are doing so well being focused on your ODAAT practices – keep it up
@amy30 happy to hear that today is better. Do hope the heat lets up – I really can’t imagine how the furry companions handle this. I know I feel like melting. It does suck that you can’t enjoy the outdoors and greenery – hope you get some decent weather soon
@rob11 Grateful that you are managing without the meds and their structured approach to helping you with your ADHD – I do hope you get better sleep. I am not familiar with biopt of the heart – grateful that your ex is receiving good care and treatment. I’m sure your son will be fine – he knows that your parents are around if he needs immediate help.
@ceeds I totally get the notion of just making it (just existing) – you are so early in the journey my friend – it is all about fighting the urges and working on not picking up your DOC – one moment at a time. Trust that it does get easier and soon the urges aren’t as intense and you can start focusing on you and your daily routines. Right now it is all about getting past the built in routines and the urges. WE got you – reach out when you need!
So awesome that you are able to reflect and see the negative effects of your DOC’s! Doing great my friend – keep strong 
@mindofsobermike I do hope everything is okay with Addie! I would think that you having it signed and emailed over (hopefully your case worker can email it through) would be sufficient – in today’s age of technology I would think this was totally acceptable. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Try not to stress about it (I know easier said than done) – just breathe my friend, it will work out the way its meant to.
@brian1965uk YEAH 40 weeks! That is awesome my friend. We will be right here for you and I know you and Willow will have a lot of stuff going on with walks and getting house prepped with move so those are great distractions. Sending strength!
@billy85 Ah – thank you -pics look awesome – you had a great time. I do hope everything goes well with your appointment tomorrow and they are able to figure out the best way to heal your carpal tunnel. Doing great – just enjoying the sobriety chapter in my life – it is totally freeing and humbling.
@mischa84 reading this made me sad too. I’m so sorry that your son is dealing with this – kids can be so very cruel sometimes. I agree with Sophia that if you talking with the kids didn’t help then maybe try talking with their parents. Wishing you a good outcome and hopefully the community is more understanding moving forwards.
@kat33 great to hear from you. Sorry you are under the weather – do hope you get well soon – not easy to do when you are stressed at work. I do hope the stress eases up for you.
@anon15828629 Great to hear from you Kevin – so sorry that you were dealing with Covid – hope you are fully recovered now. Wow – you really have made some major changes in the past few weeks – very healthy way to start off your new chapter. Super impressive! Glad that you are back here with us.
So happy for you my friend – it is so important to have good solid connections!
@juli1 well done on staying true to your commitments. I do hope that the good nutrition helped nourish you and get rid of your shakiness. Hope you have a lovely relaxed evening
@tailee17 yikes – a run away rumba (like the name btw). Never had one so not super sure if this is accurate but maybe it ran outta juice during it’s rounds? Hope you find him. Also – maybe taking a hair dryer at light setting or taking apart the remote control to dry out the insides might help? Grateful that these things are just life’s nuisances and better handled sober.
Checking in on Wednesday afternoon
I’m better than this morning and moving around a bit - about to make some lunch and dinner so that i can get all the kitchen work out of the way. I don’t have much planned for today except just getting through the basics.
sending out much love to you all - we can have a wonderful addiction free day!
Thanks Jazzy, Adelyn is feeling better but the doctors said she had a really bad case of asthma. So they are staying in town now in case she has another flare up they can go to the e.r. Friday she had to go back in for some more testing. I got ahold of my caseworker and she said it was acceptable i just need to make sure i make my zoom appointment tomorrow. So I’m definitely relieved. Hope you are having a good day yourself.
Its great to hear from u. Glad ur back! Sounds like uv made alot of changes lately. All positive ones! Wishing you all the best with everything!
Oh i am so thrilled to hear that she is doing better - asthma is no joke - glad they are staying on top of it. Fingers crossed that all works out with the further testing.
So relieved and grateful that all worked out - yes, set your reminders and i’m sure you will make the zoom appointments.
Much love my dear friend - grateful how things are working out for you!
im watching the new little mermaid while making food so life is good 
Day 4
Im having a lot of doubts. I dont understand doctors or insurance. I need to make a lot of appointments.
But i feel more committed to sobriety than i have. Life will change and i will not fuck it up by being drunk
Day 44
Today has been very productive at work. Lots of ‘wins’. I’m feeling very pleased with myself. And there is one of my biggest triggers… feeling the need to reward myself.
I naively thought I’d broken that connection, but apparently not. Recognising and acknowledging it has been helpful though. Just getting my son to sleep and then we’re making a Raisukaree for dinner, which I love. And will enjoy it with a nice NA drink. Today, that is my reward.
Many people use H.A.L.T to help recognise what triggers them. I have adapted this to better suit my personal needs - H.E.A.R.T (Hungry • Emotional • Anxious • Reward • Tired). Seems to capture everything for me. And maybe helpful for others.
I need to work on that ‘reward’ trigger.
Much love x
@Louloubelle I’m glad you felt ready to join in 
well done for getting rid of that wine 
love you adaptation 🩵
@Dustysprungfield Anxiety is rough sending strength 🩵
@MrsOdh I’m so glad to read this 
will keeping thinking of you and sending well wishes 
you are navigating this emotional roller coaster like a boss, sending strength 🩵 also, congrats on double digits 
@Chelle2023 welcome to the check-in thread congrats on 2 days
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you they are going to try…eventually 
also, congrats on all the 5s
@Mindofsobermike congrats on 90 days I hope Addie is okay
@JazzyS thank you it went okay, just more waiting for a test now, a bit worried about what they might find, but I’m managing to put that worry to the side for now. Hoping to get back on track with my activities from tomorrow.
@ArtMama congrats on 6 months
@Minatasha well done for taking care of you congrats on 4 days
@Timetochange congrats on 60 days
@Riprock66 welcome congrats on 20 days
@Brl81 congrats on 30 days
@Kat33 sending strength, feel better soon 🩵
@anon15828629 good to read from you
1108 days no alcohol.
573 days no cocaine.
88 days no vape.
I decided to go to my hospital appointment via bus yesterday morning. I had to get 2 buses on the way there, and 2 on the way back. It gave me a great opportunity to practice my patience. From leaving my flat, to getting back home, it took 4 hours.
The appointment went okay, she is referring me for a CT Angiogram. She said it would be ‘several months’ before I get my appointment, so a bit more waiting.
I did my morning routine yesterday morning, and I did my meditations, but other than that, I wasn’t able to make myself do anything.
I was shouting at myself a lot yesterday afternoon, but also answering back, practicing self-compassion. So mixed emotions, and if I could cry I would have been. I took my evening meds slightly earlier than usual, and I re-read through my therapy material, and then I felt much calmer.
Today was therapy day, and I really needed it. It isn’t really going to plan though, and there are only 3 more sessions. The sessions fly by too. I will keep practicing self-compassion, and talking back to my angry shouting voice.
I also managed to do the equivalent of both of my walks today, so I’m feeling good about that.
🩵
Omg yes! HEART works so well for me. Reward is such a strong trigger for me. I can do something really complicated at work, it all comes together, and then the strongest urge to reward myself comes.
Is my day 500 AF
Not my greatest week…but I made it to tonight sober…this is one day at a time no matter how big the counter gets.
Lots of love to all
Thank you X