“i used to do whatever I can to get high so.i need to do the same for this chapter in my life”
Good words Mike
When I was at my worst, after rent was paid I’d spend my money on weed and alcohol and have 20$ left for the whole month within 2 days of being paid.
I have a job now and I’m saving so much. If I could live off of 20$ a month when I was getting high and drunk I can do the same now. I don’t necessarily have to but it’s something I’ve thought about be4
Stay safe out there friend
Morning guys checking in SAF. We’re heading down to the Phillies game in a little bit. Hopefully the rain holds off tonight. Have a great day guys 
@dustysprungfield Congrats on your 30 days! Sending you strength to keep the door closed to the beast – you are stronger than the addiction and will conquer another day sober
@mrsodh grateful that your husband is continuing to show signs of recovery. I do hope are able to relax some and enjoy your Friday. Yes – the safe place is what I’m worried about but I have all my important documents together and just this one is missing 
I agree that I’m not a fan of cold but the quietness and comfort from a snow storm while you are inside cozy is a beautiful pleasure.
@flourishingperson1 You are doing great with day 8 – I know it seems hard now but remember how far you’ve already come. Stick with it and it will get easier and rewarding. Wishing you luck with your move tomorrow.
@wakikki So good to see you – been thinking of you. Hope you are doing well these days – any improvement for your symptoms? Were they able to get all the tests done – get results in?
@noshame Great job on your 1 week free of weed! Love the new attitude and the growth!
@butterflymoonwoman hoping everything goes well for both your appointments today. Happy Friday Dana
@mindofsobermike glad you are getting back to the workouts – so crazy how our bodies just adjust to not working out so quickly. Hoping that the rain holds off for you – taking a spare set of cloths is good idea too – remember socks if you are wearing shoes. I know my sis wears a long hooded poncho that seems to do the trick for most rainy days. Have a great day with your orientation!
@binx how are you doing?
Checking in on Friday morning
Slept ok i guess - i feel like i am in and out all night these days. Not really getting good REM sleep. I woke up a bit late so did not have time for Red Light Therapy as you need to do on an empty stomach and i needed to keep my eating schedule so breakfast at 9. Started off with everything hurting and now much more manageable. Not fatigued so going to do my best to make the most of this day. Hoping everyone has an amazing addiction free day today - sending you all so much love 
I’m on day 45. Have a great day, everyone!
To be honest Im not doing so good. Its like: having a good day and the next day soo bad with new anxiety symptoms I never had, and thats how my days are.
All test was good no bad news for the heart bloodtest, in the lower range Vitamin D which I take supplement for now.
My psychologist suspect I have not only panicanxiety but also agoraphobia and OCD. Im not sure if I agree or not. But we still work our way trough the psychological assessment.
Yeah and severely depressed, I forgot this. My psychologist think Im severely depressed and have recurrent depressions
How do you track your sleep, with a watch?
And red ligth, is it something similar to ligth terapy for lack of sunligth?
Home alone. Me and the dog for a whole week! Come on over! 
PS. sober as ever.
I am grateful that the tests came back great for your heart. Im sorry you are no way closer to getting answers. I do hope the assessment shows promising results.
Vitamin d is so essential to mood behavior- i had to increase to 60000 one week and now tapered down to 5000. I do consult with my doctor to make sure 60k isnt too much and also get blood work every six months for past 2 years just to stay on top of Vitamin deficiencies.
I do have a garmin watch that helps track sleep but also just know how often i am checking the clock when i should be sleeping.
Red light therapy (RLT) is a type of phototherapy that may help: treat skin issues, like stretch marks and wrinkles . treat skin conditions, such as psoriasis, scars, and acne. reduce inflammation or edema.
The therapy sessions were super expensive so i opted to buy a belt from amazon for $100… figured if it didnt work in 3 sessions i could return it. Red light therapy belt
It helped immensely with my rash last year and now is helping with inflammation (in turn reducing pain).
Yeah Vitamin D is really important. Here in Norway they dont think of this as much as other countries, everything over 50 is more then enough and all good. But looking around the world they say thats way to low. My D vit have just went down and down all the time, even now in summer I have dropped. This is the first doctor ever say to me to take high dose and to come back to check the levels.
Ohh, I never heard of RLT, do you think it helps, like you have to do every day or only when you worsen?
Im glad you finally have a doctor thats helping and following up.
It really did help with my rash…i had a bad case all over for 1 year and now only have spurts of an oubreak once un a while. I did have to do daily then for 20 min a day for 2 weeks and then once a week for 1 month and then i stopped. Now with inflammation ive inly done once and felt good for 1/2 hour afterwards. With muscle strengthening exercises for my disc i have hope that i will see good results again.
Yeah Im happy for that, and I hope in the long run he will be helpfull with what ever shit bottering me with F*** anxiety or what ever shit this is.
So happy it helps for you, good thing you have this at your home so you dont have to pay alot for treatment whenever.
Well, I’m afraid it all comes down to how deep your pockets are. On average the more expensive the better. Although gore-tex as a material is overpriced in my opinion. The cheapest stuff is not breathable but waterproof. If you exert yourself you will sweat like hell. The cheap stuff advertised as breathable and waterproof probably is a bit of both. When you’re on a tight budget, maybe a waterproof poncho is a better idea. Otherwise look for a well known brand, choose clothing aimed specifically at cycling (for example with zips in your armpits for breathability), and read lots of reviews. I buy stuff in the sort of mid prize range, my pants are about $100 (and are very good, AGU, Dutch brand, last pair lasted 10 years of regular use), my $150 Patagonia rain jacket is OK but not fantastic.
And the dry clothes in a plastic bag (including socks and shoes) is a good idea too.
Good day ya’ll!
I slept until 8am. Like WHOA. It feels so nice to sleep like that, even though I am happy to see my lottle boys face every morning…i mean just if he slept an hour longer I wouldnt complain 
Its so relaxing and quiet here. I hope to make this a tradition with my bestie. We both went through a lot, around the same time I had my daughter she was diagnosed with endo and a few years later fibro. She has been thrpigh so much, and life has gotten busy at times where we would go long without seeing each other (also covid). I just treasure her. She is so emphatic with the best and brightest laugh. And we have argued, we have fought and we have had major convos over the years and one not that long ago where we learned so much about one another. Shes like anpther sister to me, and I feel very blessed to have her.
Dealing with lawyer/childrens services right now, but I feel calm. I know I make sense. I am not sure if its being here & having this new approach thats going on with my sobrietg or what is happening, but I dont feel like I have been reacting to the shit comments off the handle. That feels so much better in my center.
My bestie brought FACE MASKS (the skin care kind lol) and I havent really thought of using tjem and she says she uses them once a week. So, shes giving me some self care tips…which is funny simply things i have just forgotten about like moisturizing after the shower. My kids = lotion. Every. Time. Especially my nephew who is half Jamaican whos skin gets dry without it. He gets lathered up each day, my kids AT LEAST after their bath. Me?? When Im like getting uncomfoetable bc my skin is dry 
its a funny thing trying to balance self care isnt it…but I tjink of it like this…
I get HANGRY if i do not eat. HANGER RAGE. I am tryinf to think of how me taking care of myself, effects my kids and family by just me feeding or not feeding myself (literally it sounds SIMPLE enough but mamas out there know how easy it is to forget to eat or put it off till u r have a mental breakdown 
). If I dont take care of me and eat, my kids have to be with the hangry me who is less fun, less patient and irritated bc she is simply not taking care of herself. If however I just eat some food and take care of me first before trying to do other things, my kids get to be around the baseline me…who is generally happier when not experiencing the hanger rage. So. Taking care of me is also for my kids.
Anyway, not feeling any feels about a drink today. Fweling super grateful to be in the space online & upnorth with my besty. Hopefully we get to go for a swim today & we apparently both broughy several meals and could survive here until next spring. But thats just hpw I live my life. Going for a 4 hour outing with the kids I pack food like we may experience the apocolypse and need to hide out in a tunnel for several months. Xo.
Oh, how cool to hear😇
Didn’t know that, find this really interesting…
How kind of you! When I get there I might take you up on the offer🤗
No haha us grocery store escapists are out there😂
Or at least you and me😂
Hell yes 
11
Evening checkin.
Back home… No shit in the fridge.
No chaos in the apartment.
No suffering.
No craving.
I have everything I need.
Well i went to orientation, but I can’t say i did amazing. It’s just orientation right? Well yeah, they talked about ten tips for college success, having fun, learning, study, participating all that good stuff. Well then they wanted us to go into this ice breaker where we get papers that have different qualities and likes, we were supposed to go around and find people who matched them, so essentially they idea was too get people to talk and like it says.”ice breaker” well i panicked, I wasn’t ready to try and talk to this huge crowd of people. So i took off and now i feel sort of like, idk i dont want to say failure, but i feel like man c’mon mike you could of fucking did it. I can’t be nervous my whole life, I’m probably going to have essays i have to read in front of the whole class. They even did say, being the guy who just sits in the corner hoping to go unnoticed wont do well in college. Well honestly thats me, I’m that guy. I love learning and want to learn so much and I’m completely ok talking to my teacher and getting a tutor and doing what i have to do to pass, but i wont do well with social interaction and honestly thats not something i can change, its who i am. But yeah i just wanted to find where my classes were and I didn’t even get to do that.
Please don’t stop this kind of art. 
Sorry to hear you are struggling with physical pain. What are you dealing with exactly? I didn’t make it out from all ive read until now.
God I can imagine that starting the day off like that is really hard. Like you didn’t even get up and you’re already fighting. Can be quite devastating at times, im sure?
Well it takes a great amount of courage and strength to get up every day and face all of life’s challenges (sober).
Im so proud of you💪. What a fighter!
You inspire me to stay here and go through life, not sleep-walk through it. Thankful for you🙏
Much love and a warm hug to our beautiful souls here❤
Congratulations on your 14 months. This is a jamming cat looking a bit like Alobar.
I totally get you and please don’t let it put you off. I was exactly this way. When I had to give a small presentation in my first year I could barely breathe (mature student), then for my Masters I burst into tears at my first meeting with my supervisor (I had such little confidence). I went on from there to give presentations at conferences and to pass a viva which is an oral exam (defending your thesis to 2 experts in your field). Honestly it can be done, but it doesn’t have to all be faced today. Baby steps, and a lot of kindness to yourself. You showed up today, that is huge