Hey all, checking in on day 1259. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hya, checking in on day 4, i had a much better sleep, but feel very tired, also trying not to feel overwhelmed and impatient which usually happens, had my daughter stay last night and popping out in a bit, im definitely worried about money, as its so close to Christmas, but thats a month away! Its just the usual stress of relapse, but checking in here is keeping me focused, really am so so tired of the merry go round and really am ready to stop for good x
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Early checkin day 9. I was an emotional mess last night and cried for about 2 hours when I went to bed. Every thought and feeling was making me cry. This morning isn’t much better. If this continues today, it’ll be really tempting g to drink. I really only crave the numbness of drinking when my emotions are out of control. I plan to check in here often. And trying to plan something enjoyable for today. At least I currently have a cat asleep in my lap while I drink my morning coffee.
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I was the exact way, I even posted a question on here about it cause I just felt horrible no matter how much sleep I got. It got a lot better around the 2 month mark. Hang in there 
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Day 420 af
Social media detox: on hold atm 
Day 3 of anxiety medication. I feel the side effects this stuff has, but I’ll push through. I know it can take up to 2 weeks until you start to feel it, but today I had a pretty good start tbh. I still slept way too long but I think this will get better eventually. I was grocery shopping and felt a little better while doing so. Now I’m calmer also with a calmer mind.
The next high stress day could be tuesday when I have to go back to my Dr to get my blood checked and get a 24h bloodpressure monitor. I hate both, but it doesn’t help. I want to do that now, all of it, even if that means that I maybe need meds for my bloodpressure also. So what? I don’t want to damage my body, this is my home. I want it to be and feel good as long as I’m here.
I was struggling for 1-2 days with alcohol and thoughts circling around it. Today I’m safe again. I know it would only make everything worse, and drinking while I’m on Escitalopram is a very very bad idea.
The social media, well…I try to not misuse it. But I can’t reduce it to zero right now.
That’s all for now, have a beautiful sober day friends and stay strong 
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I have been feeling lot better in the last few days. I know it’s due to a not healthy coping mechanism, but at the moment I don’t care, I’m just glad I got myself back, it’s like coming out from under the water. I started to read again, did some errands and chores and kinda enjoy the days. I still procrastinate meditation though, although I know it would be really helpful. I’m grateful for this thread as it helps me feeling grounded, focus on my days and see them from a different point of view, and be more mindful on a daily basis.
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She’s the sweetest cat! 
I have two tortoise shell cats. The other one is full of attitude! 
I’ve been journaling. I don’t really have anyone to talk to other than my therapist. That’s part of the problem. I feel so alone, even when I’m with people.
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Checking in on the morning of day 897. Having a quiet coffee and listening to something scritching in the walls. I live in a very old house, and have to make peace with coexisting with the mice, I guess. They are just trying to survive as well. In the first week of new depression/anxiety medication (solidarity @Sabrina80!) and not sure what to make of it yet. Time will tell.
Have a wonderful sober Saturday, friends 
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Saw this today! Not 3 years sober yet, but inching towards 1,000 days. I don’t post as much as i used to, but I read daily. This place saved me.
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Damn! That sucks. Sounds like it’s time to register his behavior at the FRO thread😡 sorry you are having to deal with this and people who stare at you when you wear a face mask can FRO too.
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Checking in on day 136. Appreciate all the folks here, such a wonderful community!
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I just want to scream at him GET YOUR EFFING ACT TOGETHER, what more does he want me to do for him i already do everything apart from spend the actual time with her for him
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Yes, that’s true. Healing on a whole new level. For a very long time I tried to do everything on my own, I thought I can do that alone, others can too right? Seems I can’t, and I don’t have to. There is help, and now I’ll get that.
Solidarity with you as well @icebear , we’ll get better 
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Checking in on day 242!!
☆☆☆
Clean and Sober!!!
☆☆☆
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Day 1071,
Lazy day, slept in. Had to cancel to go watching my son’s soccer match in a long time. He called right after the match, really enjoyed that. I need to get used to my medication. Geus I’m in the same boat as @Sabrina80. First day went really well, so I was like “if this is all”, but bit tired now and need to watch my boundaries. I wanted to go to gym tomorrow morning but I don’t think I must stress my body to much right now and listen to it, a walk will do as well.
Greetz 
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Although it’s been a few weeks I didn’t get my chip until last night. And we all know it’s not official until you get your chip 
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Day 114
Morning check in.
Running arens this morning.
Gotta go to my aunts funeral today. I’m not close to either sides of my family so it’s always weird and akward around them. But my dad called me this morning, if anything i want to be there for him. I have to constantly fight that feeling of, I’m so selfish, why aren’t i close to my family. Then i have to stop that thought.
My phone number has been the same for many many years. They haven’t invested in me, and i haven’t in them.
At what point can you be 100% content and appreciate what you have and bring to the table. You are so blessed and have so many friends other family you ARE CLOSE WITH. TAKE A DEEP BREATH, SMILE, AND APPRECIATE LIFE E.
Now LET’S GO TO STARBUCKS AND GET SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
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