Day 48
Went to a concert last night and didn’t miss alcohol at all. Nice 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1236. I hope everybody has a good one!
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62
Checking in
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7 weeks is awesome Jenny! It is a lovely accomplishment and is big so be very proud of yourself 
Im sorry that you are struggling. I do hope you are able to grab the day and turn it around 
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Welcome to the community and to your day 1 Pedro 
Wishing you luck on your journey and hope to see you around.
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Day 91,
Just checking in.
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how cool im glad:blush:
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Haha this is amazing! Snail style
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Day 1048,
Went to my interim therapist, went mwa. I did the last years schematherapy with her, until I went downhill. She is there until my next therapy starts and she takes care of any referral. I mentioned that the treatment centre changed their advice. She was not amused, so talked about that. Whole discussion on every therapist will give another advice and if you shop at different stores you get different things blabla, she referred me btw. I understand her, but my feelings were not good and still aren’t. The treatment advices IPT interpersonal PT. I recognize a lot were that is aimed at, I’m crappy at any relationship. As it went sour in the past I would start pleasing or end them (work, friends and love relationship or make myself impossible by upgrading my drinking so it also would end. Leaving me with depression, IPT is basically a depression treatment. I need to be or get in charge and let that now be my biggest problem in my opinion, that f@cking dependency. To many involved right now, tomorrow my re-integration coach 
. I mentioned to her that I have sometimes the thought of leaving it all, but don’t know we’re that might end.
Edit: currently the thought of breaking up with this therapist. Geus the relationship has become toxic, however I have to determine whether it is no flight respons.
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Yay YOU!!!
This first step is a big one and you are going to do great @pedromitch 
Welcome on the family 
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Super interesting read, thank you. Wish you the best 
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Low energy is hitting harder again, but Im not overthinking it yet and just trying to do my best. Did chores and was productive still today. Im actually good despite that, so im a little confused with the energy thing. If it doesnt get better soon, I’ll have to put in a lot of effort into not being full of rage and resentment, not gonna lie😂
So yeah battery at 20% but otherwise vibing as they say👍
Learned some lessons about people at work and becoming more sure of myself, more vocal and a little less naive and sensitive. Hope it sticks. Feels good to grow tougher!
Realized my father and brother do love me but put very little effort into our relationship, while I gave a lot of my energy to help them. They never reach out, they always expect me to do the talking or create a nice atmosohere, and Im a little done with that. They are my older brother and my father, so why am I always the advice giver and ear lender? What about me? Ughhhh! I always dig and ask how they really are, but they dont really return the favor.
Im realizing Im not anyone’s feel good idiot. Im a person and if I dont feel that my care and invested energy is being returned, then so be it, Ill have to step back too. I wish it wasnt so, I hate it, but im accepting that slowly… two grown people should meet halfway in the middle, not anywhere else.
Feels like a problem without a solution, bc its not like I can stop making myself care for them. When i see them in pain or struggling i try to help, I cant turn it off. They will always be in my life. Ugh. Kind of annoying the whole thing, but okay.
All I can do is protect myself and try to find some ways not to be drained by these relationships. I will try to find a way to communicate this somehow and / or hold onto my energy.
This might have contributed to low energy levels, and also that I had food poisoning.
In any case, Im putting in the effort to be better.
One day at a time like a snail, its comfy.
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Day
3 no form of Marijuana
176 no alcohol
107 no vapes or ciggs
On my way to work today sober and comfy in my skin
Just another day
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ACOA-DF is helpful to me, understanding these damaging dynamics and reparenting our adult selves with grace and kindness. Keep fighting.
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Thank You. This is really something that is not easy to talk about.
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Welcome! If you’re looking for support this is a great place to be.
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