Congratulations 
Coolest numbers ever 
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Welcome to the family 
Lovely to have you here with us
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Day 33:
Late night, well early morning, check-in, just past 1am here. Decent day today, good gym session this morning. Work was a bit crazy to start the day, but once i got all my guys out to their jobs things mellowed out. Managed to get home fairly early, got my Peloton ride in, did my stretching and spent my night doing laundry and catching up on the show The Curse of Oak Island.
Was really hoping to get to bed early, but sleep hates me and for some reason i hate it back. Luckily i dont have to be up until 7:30. I’ll go to the gym and then i need to go finish installing my daughter’s hardwood floor in her bedroom at her mom’s house. It will make her happy and its always fun to be with her.
Still enjoying being sober, enjoying my solitude, if anything life has slowed down and feels peaceful, i need that.
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63 in the bank
At work tonight. Busy busy
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Hi, welcome, nice to meet you, hope to see you around 
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856 day check in 
The past few days I been so close to relapse.
It’s weird. It can either go two ways for me right now.
I always remember when being sober for years before, that I got to like 2 years and it became my new life style as I really did not want to drink. This past 2+ yrs I have been waiting to see this happen again for me, if it even would this time.
I came to a realisation -
I could just go and do it but why aren’t I ?
I’m actually stopping myself because I don’t want to, it’s just my mind still healing, showing me I can but I actually really don’t want to, and I don’t need to keep feeling like it is what I want just because the feeling is familiar.
The past few days I have been ready to meet a dealer and get a drink - what has stopped me is I have spent the past 3-4 days with like flash backs of why I shouldnt. It’s like a reel of memories just popping up through out the day and that stops me.
The realisation I came to is that THIS IS THAT MOMENT - THE MOMENT WHERE I GO THROUGH A STAGE WHERE MY MIND IS DECIDING/SHOWING ME I REALLY DONT WANT TO USE/DRINK ANYTHING ANYMORE, THE DELUSION IS THAT I THINK I DO STILL.
So it goes two way, I either give in or I let my mind play out and stay strong because I convince myself not to and it’s making me realise I don’t actually want to use or drink.
Not sure if this makes sense but I think this is the moment where the delusions stop and the real wake up call of past mistakes and problems that arise from my addiction are showing me and making me deeply not want to ever be in that place ever again. So I’m at the point where if I stay strong, things get really easy because I really don’t want to drink anymore. I see it for what it is - I hope… As if I wanted to I would of by now, I’m being stopped by my self , by my own mind, by my own reasoning. This has to be part of that change in my brain where I really know I don’t want to use or drink again like actually really know it and believe it.
Almost got everything back organised at home. But still feel maybe me not being so active here isn’t all too do with being so busy (all though I have been extremely busy) some is using that as an excuse!
Have a lovely day everyone
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Glad to read you are feeling better 
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Good morning all! Checking in on day 64. Super unmotivated right now so just trying to manage that and force myself to be a member of society. Hoping I work through this soon and just like the weather, this storm passes. I hope everyone has an amazing day!
and 
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26 alcohol
125 doc
0 ciggarettes
Checking in early Saturday morning. Anxiety this morning is present but lessening. Praying, journaling, gratitude and meditating help keep me focused and in the present. My anxious thought have been worrying about the future. Right now I’m in a between time financially, with no car, employment. Again three children on my own. I’m taking the steps to improve my situation and clean up the wreckage from my addiction. Like going to.court to ensure my children recieve child support, whether their father is working or not it will be on record and when he does that money will be paid to them. Rolling my debts into one so it will be easier for me to manage. Starting a new in all levels. Will save for a used car in the summer. Pay out right and again make the mistake of high interest rates double what the car is worth.
I feel as though I am relearning or learning for the first time a lot of basic fundamentals of living life. No excuse but now I need to put in the work, educate myself and use my resources and support group to live to the bar of my ability. In God’s will, living in the spiritual principles. I trust that if I do doors will open up and I will gain a spiritual understanding and spiritual gifts by following the will of my higher power.
I have been doing the bare basics, taking it slow and steady, yet I am challenging myself to live and find joy in my present circumstances. I am alive and sober today. My children are healthy and happy. We have a warm home and food in the fridge and for this I am grateful.
Happy 24 all! 
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Hi Ami,
Thank you for your share and continued authenticity. I can relate and feel the same. Like beautifully said “like the weather, this storm passes”. I believe…this too shall pass. You are doing well, hold on as we know staying present is the first step. ODAAT. Have a wonderful day!
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Hi @Twizzlers
I appreciate your honesty. Telling on the thought of using and bring it out of the dark and into the light is the first step. Good on you. Congratulations on your recovery time very inspiring. Keep at it, keep checking in, keep pressing forward. Have a wonderful balanced day.
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I’m trying to change her school. Hopefully there is an open spot. 
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Day 29 SAF
Literally in the midst of a blizzard. About 30 cm (12 inches for my American friends) has come down so far, with more falling all day and tomorrow. Hopefully the power holds up (we usually lose during storms, during Fiona hurricane for 7 days) and heat is all based on electric.
Fortunately we have a good generator.
Trees are heavy with wet snow, last nights drive home from game was treacherous, getting home at midnight and multiple cars off the road.
Hopefully the game this afternoon is cancelled as I’d fear for the boys getting too.
Looks like the snowblower is coming out this morning to try and get a dent in driveway.
Stay well everyone and enjoy a wonderful sober day.
Supposed to be an Ocean out there about 30’ out.
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Are you in Canada? I saw a post by an acquaintance in PEI last night and it looked insane!
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Yes, east coast of Nova Scotia
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Stay safe, it looks rough. Scandinavia are getting about 130 mph winds too. Crazy weather 
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Day 37 and heading towards finding new definitions of myself and how life will look. Three full weeks left of work to finish up and disentangle myself from the mess that has contributed towards my inertia.
I have zero idea of what to think right now and that’s ok. I have a fall back network around me to soften any decisions and time it takes to make them, for that I realise I’m super lucky and don’t take this for granted.
Got a lot to work on within and I’m looking forward to making a clear break from this me. In the best sense of the word, not a quick fix.
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Stay safe! Prayers your power stays on! Love the windows and view in that room!
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Hey all, checking in on day 1329. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in day 33 AF.
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