Feel better quickly, please 
Luna please take care of him, too.
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Beterschap @Mno 
*Day 2086 
Had an easy day yesterday just as planned.
Today? Maybe a walk before work, work and in the evening the kids are visiting.
Have a nice day ore night all of you (including myself
)
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#8th day started, feeling much better settled and aligned with what being sober actually means compared to previous attempts. Quality of sleep could be a bit better, but I know also from your posts it just takes time. Feeling much more free compared to alcoholic days. Take care 
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Day 353 AF
Today was relatively uneventful. Work was a breeze and I finished the evening with a metaphysical development circle. It’s been quite some time since I’ve done one of these but it was nice to connect with like minded people and to nurture my spirit.
Heading to bed feeling very relaxed and peaceful.
Sleep well everyone!
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475
I was in a good mood all day. Refreshing after the last week of uncertain anxiety. It was a great day at work. Our manager took the day off for her fiancés birthday, so there was an easy-going vibe. Hoping the rest of the week follows suit It’s gonna be a long one. I am looking forward to Thursday. There’s a fundraiser for my daughter’s school at the roller rink where I took figure skating for 10 years as a child. It’s themed ‘Roll into the Decades’ and says dress up as the decade of your choice. I’m thinking 70s or 80s to go with my skates. Should be fun 
Have a great day everyone 
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Checking in on day 584 alcohol free.
It’s my youngest son’s 21st today too, so we have cause for celebration today. I’m taking him to the gym with me this morning for a birthday workout and then we’ll go out to dinner tonight.
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@Just_Laura Enjoy your time at the roller rink. Sounds like lots of fun 
@DanaM56 What is a metaphysical development circle? Sounds intriguing.
@Bunto Congrats to over a week of freedom!
@Mno Get well soon. Now is the perfect time to do nothing, watch the telly and then more nothing.
@Leveller Thanks for sharing your lovely morning with us 
@stand_like_an_oak Congrats on a whole week. Huge achievement friend!
@john_connor1337 Good work friend. Get your help wherever you can.
@Soberbilly Congrats on working through your challenge, and thanks for sharing your journey, experiences and insights with us 
@Thirdmonkey I tend to forget that forgiveness also includes myself. Thanks for the reminder.
@PositiveThoughts Hope you get to enjoy some down time and self care soon. Great attitude!
196 sugar
60 UPF
67 gluten
46 dairy
8 overeating
Today more work on my prototype, time for more structure. My mum will come by to pick up my daughter for ballet class. Some yoga in the afternoon and maybe a dharma meeting in the evening.
I‘m still in this mental hole, but at least not in constant anxiety anymore. Things usually improve during the day.
Let‘s try it with peace, kindness and freedom today friends 
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127 days AfmfA
Still sober, hanging round on the good side 
Love you guys
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Day 1 free of pornography addiction and day 1 free of binging with food.
Humiliated and broken but not defeated
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186 days
Spent the day unpacking, cleaning, shopping and then cooking dinner.
Picked up the kids from school and off to the gym. Got some sparring in for me too, was a good sweat up.
Going away again this weekend to stay with family, the kids have a tournament in the town my brother lives in so was a good excuse to get down there
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Hope you feel better soon Menno. Rest up.
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@JazzyS thank you 🩵 I’m glad you were able to rest
@Leveller congrats on 2 weeks 
@acromouse thank you 🩵 congrats on 60 days no UPFs and 1 week+ no overeating/binge so glad you’re feeling a bit better, hugs and love back 🩵
@Deelzebub congrats on your year 
@1in8billion congrats on 80 days and good job coming here instead of using 
sending strength 🩵
@Mno feel better soon 🩵
@Bunto congrats on your week
@Bomdhil welcome back
@Chevy55 congrats on 5 months
1394 days no alcohol.
859 days no cocaine.
18 months no cigarillos.
374 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
Yesterday I didn’t do much at all. It was raining all day, but since my mood is low it was kinda cathartic, the clouds were crying the tears that I’m unable to.
I did do my meditations, and I did walk to the parcel shop to return the new toaster I bought but didn’t open, because I don’t need it afterall. I bought some groceries while I was there too. Sadly, late last night and again this morning, this lead to bingeing. Nothing left again now so I’m calm and wont experiment again.
I was online on WhatsApp when my dad’s wife randomly messaged me so I had to reply. I’m now going to visit them today. Not sure how I feel about that, but I’m a peace keeper (people pleaser) so I’ll mask my true feelings and be pleasant. I feel a lot of anger towards my dad all the time at the moment, that’s where I was at in my last therapy session before the 3 week break, and it’s lingered on. He stole all of my money and it’s been over 3 years now and he hasn’t paid me a single bit of it back. He keeps saying he’s going to sell one of his properties but he hasn’t. He didn’t even ask my permission to spend any of it, but he’s spent all of it. I found out he also owes my brother a smaller amount too. He was abusive my whole childhood, and he continues to try to control me and doesn’t let me make any decisions without him. He’s always angry at me and I can’t do anything right. I try to keep my distance for my mental well-being, but I have conflicting feelings because he’s still my dad and I love him and will be very upset when he dies, so I try to accept him as he is, but it’s hard. He puts his wife and her two adult children before me and my brother, and that hurts too, but I’m used to it.
He’s closer to my brother and always has been, so I’m used to that too, even more so since they’ve created grandchildren for him. I just feel like such an outcast. From my family, and society.
I’ll leave it there because I need to meditate and calm these feelings before I think about getting ready for the drive to my hometown for the visit.
🩵
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Day 23
I’m in for a jammed packed day. It’s day 1 of the anniversary celebrations (day before the actual date).
Work and lots of driving are the parts that I’m dreading most. I told my wife she’s driving so I can sleep. Drives still trigger me, I consider it a chore.
After we drop the kids at my parents this afternoon, we head to a city on a river. We are going to 2 highly rated restaurants on the pier and will check out the scene.
I’m looking forward to a low key, relaxing, FUN night!
Enjoy the day everyone!
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Day 203. Not sure exactly what to say today. Little wet ride into work, said my gratitudes. But yeah not exactly how im feeling today. Not up, not down. Maybe somewhere in the middle lol. Much love
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*341
I was first time for a volunteer work in the nursing home today. My job was to pick residents up from their flats (they are on wheelchairs), bring to the cafeteria, chat a bit during coffee, bring back to flats. All in one building and all together it took maybe 1,5h. It was nice, I will go again. They asked me if I could come next Monday take someone outside for a walk. Even better.
My planner is pretty full lately, days are not as dull as they used to be. That’s good. I can handle. I hope 
Have a good day/night sober fam 
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Congrats on this big milestone and passing by that tent this time!
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Day 68 here.
Okay so now this is a bit longer so I’ll try to keep it brief.
I’m on sick leave until friday. I just don’t have the ability to mask at the moment. Which doesn’t mean I’ll just wallow in self pity.
I’ve switched up my medication of course under direct orders from my doctor. And I’ll get back on getting therapy.
I’ve done what I’ve always done the last two weeks which is obsessing over people, the past and overstimulating myself with people and/or work.
This cannot continue. No wonder nothing but my sobriety is intact. Keeping things as they are is what got me here.
No point in trudging down a well walked path. It’s not going to end well for me.
On another note: a member of my AA group had a relapse recently and I’m not shocked about it.
I’ve seen the signs, I even wanted to help her out but I just couldn’t deal with it at the time.
I know it’s her life/her actions but I still feel guilty about it. Comes with the territory I suppose.
Otherwise I’m questioning too much and focussing on almost nothing. But for now that’s just the norm.
That’s all for now.
Stay safe and enjoy your freedom. 
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Hugs to you lovely. That’s class narcissist and toxic parent behaviour. His Modus Operandi has been to manipulate, control, belittle and break your resistance and autonomy down. A secondary tactic is to divide and conquer often using siblings as pawns in the family dynamics. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, let’s face it, it doesn’t sound like he offers you any quality payback whether you are a shit child or a suck ass one. In this situation, I would give less and self invest.
I’ve had to go thru this process as well, I have contact with neither parent now. My dad for over twenty years and my mom for nearly 3 years. It’s sad, but I’m worth respect. You are too. Make connections outside of your family circle wherever possible. Like-minded supportive and caring people. These people are not blood, but that saying that blood is thicker than water is dreadfully misinterpreted anyway.
The Original:
Blood is thicker than water.
The Extension:
“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
The saying means that chosen bonds are more significant than the bonds with family or “water of the womb.”
More directly, it means that relationships you make yourself are far more important than the ones that you don’t choose.
My DMS are always open to you my love. If you wanted it. I know this shit is really hard.
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