Your the 1.
Day 42ā¦checking in friendsš
Thatās some great numbers. We donāt really chat but bc you are doing what I am, you honestly do inspire me. If you can get sober and no smoking days like that then I have no excuse. I simply must keep up. Well done.
Today is day 7,Iām a little nervous about that,ā¦I am grateful and staying calm,ā¦got a feeling a staff member that was a bit of a c++t last Friday will be in today,hey ho,thereās plenty of work for me to be doing rather than focus on a negative.staying sober for 1 and keeping my mind clear of chatter, breathe H, breathe!
After the circumstances mentioned in yesterdayās post about being on the receiving end of silent treatment, today I tackled it head on which resulted in a rather heated exchange but at least itās not silence.
Shortly after, my mother called and I had the chance to talk with her about it but also came clean about this issue that leads me to be here, my appetite for daily drinking through to how Iām addressing it, even through the bullshit at home.
I was a bit nervous to tell her, mainly embarrassed I suppose, but she was really understanding and the vibe of my decision and sticking with it being received so positively has certainly reinforced that Iāve done the right thing.
Tricky day, not because of booze, just mentally difficult with home life.
If I hadnāt got into this moment of clarity, Iām not sure quite how I might have handled the situation other than sitting in my room alone with beers waiting for it all to blow over.
@Conor689908 You too huh?
Day 5 of silent treatment without an end in sight, it was time to set a visible finish line.
Checking in on day 22 still in awe that i have managed my days. Mood is good today. Mainly working on filling the massive void that drinking filled can only do so much housework. But have started doing classes at gym. Still looking for work which is hard as building my confidence to apply for jobs is work in progress. Dont want high pressure as with previous roles. May get a part time position as my sobriety is my priority. Onwards and upwards.
@GVLNative we made 21 days lets storm to 30 ā¦ hope work eases for you.
Again all your posts and this app keep me focused it has been the ultimate toolā¦
Have a good positive and sober Tuesday
Thank you @Jane.c, @Conor689908, @crystalclear, @CapriciousCapricorn, @Misokatsu. Iām sorry if I missed anyone, if youāre not on here 24/7 notifications get wonky and I miss them. However , I scrolled through periodically during the day and all of your words were helpful.
Iām stepping back a little. I have OCD, it mainly manifests via my eating disorder. But as embarrassing as it is, when my regular status went away about a week ago, I was hyper focused on getting it back, and it was owning me. So freaking stupid. I ended up overwhelmed and decided to step back and get a damn grip. It was overly consuming.
Iām still numb and very sad about the situation with my daughter. Sheās home, but we are not speaking. We are supposed to get our hair done together on Friday. Not sure whatās going to happen now.
Iāve decided to put my ED counter back to Jan 1. Itās my decision. Iām in recovery, not perfection. I had two slips and Iāll be damned if Iām going to let resetting a counter be destructive to my healing. At the end of the day, this is for me. So Iāll no longer share that piece of my recovery here.
140.48 days sober.
Checking in; first time Iāve checked in two days in a row. There is a lot of strength and courage in this thread. I feel very fortunate to experience this with you guys.
Yesterday was a good day. I went to a SMART recovery meeting mid-day because I am starting to do more meetings every week (I used to do one per week but Iāve upped that to 4). I like the personal, face to face connection. I find the talking and sharing and listening helps very much. Iām going to another meeting midday today.
Wish me luck guys. I wish you luck as well. I am thinking of you
Day 11
Today I decided to go later at work as Iād like to have some time for myself. Like have a bath , relax a little bit and staying on the sofa with my cat . Unfortunately mobile phone rang a lot for work stupid matters , anyway the bath was ok so I think this is a first step starting to think more that sobriety is the first thing I must do . I tell you this because I have the problem that My mind thinks that the world canāt go on without me . So I still must understand that the world go on even better also without me, I am not the essential person I think to be . I must deflate my ego . So an AA friend told me : āwhen you were drunk where you so active at work like now?? ā ā¦ frankly speaking not at all ! So : why do I think that is a problem if I take a small rest now ??
I have a lot to reflect and a lot to learn about my mind, thatās the conclusion .
Better to take a rest and reflect , sobriety must be first thing in my life . Not easy to do this but with your help itās possible ! Thanks a lot for all of you here , really
Ha ha, and there you are! Just said something at the ābeing missedā tread about donāt be a stranger And tadaaah Mission acomplished before you even read my message
Second check in, just need to vent.
Just went to the specialist for my ear problems. They want surgery I have problems with my ear and hearing all of my life, so thatās not special. Had surgery for it when I was 7.
First CT scan and hearing test and then talk it over. Iām not that positive about surgery, they can mess up al lotā¦
Buts , so sorry to listen to this . Please be strong ā¦ think about everything will be ok , if you keep sober . A big hug . Stay strong mate
Today is Day 35 - thatās 5 weeks alcohol free!
Day 59 and itās my birthday. Will get my 2 month chip this week. Pretty good way to celebrate!
Done.
All out in the open.
Didnāt want to draw attention to a problem that we both knew about but seldom talked about but I had to. My partner and I that is.
I explained my problem with alcohol to my other half and demonstrated all of the areas that I could see being impacted by my daily boozing and then went over how my change in mood within this short time is already starting to feel beneficial.
She already knew most of it, probably not quite to what extent but I wanted her to hear me be straight about where I got to, my recognition of my own problem for a while now and the sudden urge to set about correcting it.
This change isnāt only for my benefit but for my family too, more so for them actually, but it is only me who can affect this part of me positively.
So the silent treatment has kind of been dropped and hopefully we can all start to benefit from the less grumpy, more attentive me.
Thats two people Iāve opened up to today and I cannot describe the feeling of relief.
Nothing is hidden anymore.
75.34
Blessed with another day and some really fine coffee
Here for the day!
Day 153. Another early morning workout. Two days in a row is good for me. Iām planning on taking it like I do my recovery, one day at a time. I plan to do all the workouts in this 21 day program. Thatās my goal. Hoping to drop some of the weight I gained by replacing alcohol with food the last 5 months. I need to do it for my health. Anyway thanks for the encouragement @GVLNative! It is definitely hard to change routines. But I can do hard things!
@Girlinterrupted just wanted to affirm you in your decision to put your ED counter back to Jan 1 & keep that area of recovery to yourself. You know whatās best for your sanity regarding that. As a fellow OCD sufferer I totally get it. No use adding something to obsess over when we can find new things all the time all on our own. The struggle is real. You inspire me & I pray your relationship with your daughter improves in the near future. Thatās a tough situation to live in. Be kind to yourself & make sure you are making time to care for your own needs. Youāre such a go go goer!! All the best to you dear lady!