Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his den. The bear isn’t dead. It’s too terrified to move.
Chuck Norris wasn’t born. He round-house kicked himself into existence.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris always knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon using a house phone
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Met a recon marine today. Not only a recon Marine, but a warrant officer to boot. He could kick Chuck Norris’s ass…twice.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
No way! Chuck Norris has a fist in his ass!
Wait… that didn’t come out like I meant it to…
Hahaha, say whaaaaat?
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard (not ass).
There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once one a game of 21s with a 2 of diamonds and an UNO card.
Every single one of these cracks me up