Chuck Norris regularly makes omlettes without cracking a few eggs.
Chuck Norris invented all the colours. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris can hear smell and taste see.
Chuck Norris’s sperm is so powerful, his wife gave birth to their second child before their first.
The reason your wishes on a shooting star never happen is because theyre not shooting stars. Just Chuck Norris practicing his left arm pitch.
Chuck Norris once ate a bag of asphalt/cement just to prove you can shit bricks.
Chuck Norris was the 4th King present in the stable bringing gifts to Mary and Joseph… on entry he stepped on a rake and it jumped up and smacked him in the nose…he exclaimed “JESUS CHRIST!!”… Mary looked at him and said “Oh what a lovely name; we were gonna call him Albert”.