You all know what the acronym H.A.L.T. stands for? Let me tell you. H.A.L.T. represents four causes for craving, as I learned on Quitnet, the now obsolete forum that helped me quit smoking nearly 8 years ago. Here they are:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Of course there are many more reasons to crave our DOC, or our addictive behaviour of choice, but these are four main big ones. Please think about it what your other reasons to crave are or can be. Knowing and recognising the reason is the battle already half won.
The other half of defeating cravings without giving in to the lying addicted part of our brains is connection. As said many many times by TS member Chad @Wunderbar :
NEVER CRAVE ALONE.
This is so true. Active addiction means isolation. Giving into a craving is a perfect example of this. When we crave we retract, we don’t share our cravings, we disappear from view and we relapse. In isolation.
What we need is connection. Connection is the antidote to relapsing and addiction. It’s why newcomers in 12 step meetings are given the phone numbers of the members present. It’s one of the reasons to have a sponsor too.
But this is also perfectly possible without attending a 12 step program. All we need is some people we trust, peers preferably, who we can reach out to when we need it. Make a deal. Exchange phone numbers with a couple of trusted peers and/or friends and tell them what you want from them. Offer the same to them.
This place works because here we are in it together. We find connection here. Connection will save us from addiction, addiction which isolates. We can make that connection stronger by having a few special contacts who will look out for us and have our back when needed. Promise yourself and you contacts to call or text when it is needed. NEVER CRAVE ALONE. Much love.
This is stellar wisdom. It took time and effort on my part to engage here and find who I clicked with, push through my comfort zone, send some PMs, and reach out on a personal level to find the people I really connect with who I know I can rely on when I need a little extra support. It’s more than just making friends, it’s building a support system. Mutual support. It often felt awkward at first, just like any new relationship/friendship when you’re learning about people (that could just me and my awkward self though) but it is what has made the biggest impact on my participation here. It also happened organically for me with enough time engaging here. And that time well spent is so worth it.
I loved Quitnet as well…that site was instrumental in gathering tips, strength and community when quitting smoking. I see TS as a continuation of that and an easier interface.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom, experience and especially your connection and compassion.
But isn’t that because alcohol makes our lives dull and boring? Alcohol is an escape. Drinking is a flight form the emptiness of our lives. It sure was for me.
Living a good life, a life worth living, a meaningful life (however you want to give meaning to your life), a fun life, takes work. And quite a lot of it. Drinking is an easy way out. And an unfulfilling one. A dull boring one. Drink and forget.
Now we’re sober we actually have the possibility to work to make our lives interesting. How to do that is up to you. Personally I went into therapy, to try and become a better person, to understand more of myself and thus of those around me, and the world at large. I was terribly alone and lonely when I drank, even when I was in company. I’m finally learning to make real connections to other people. At the moment that gives meaning to my life.
For you that might be something completely different. Climb a mountain. Play chess. Earn a PHD. Change careers. Whatever. Do something that fulfills you. Drinking, using substances, is the ultimate dullness and emptiness. Never again friend. I’m free. Life’s not easy but nobody said it was. Maybe addictions lying inner voice does. It’s all lies.
Against immediate cravings I advise to use the 5 D’s. I learned those when I quit smoking, but they work for any craving.
Deep breathing. Concentrate on deep breathing, using your full chest and diaphragm. Do this for at least a minute, preferably longer.
Drink water. Instead of alcohol, drink water. Lots of it. It will actually quench you thirst.
Delay. Don’t give in straight away. Delay. say you might drink in half an hour, but not right now. In the mean time use other D’s
Discuss. Like we are doing here, discuss you cravings. Why now, why here, why? Describe what your feeling. Where you’re feeling. How you’re feeling. Describe how you’re thinking, what. how. Analyze.
Distract. Which you are doing by all of the above. or by something else. Have a walk. Watch TV. Talk to your partner or a friend. Etc.
Hi pagan my journey involved narcotics more than alcohol though most of the methods to overcome cravings translate across the two.Menno is far better versed with that than me so I will broach the boredom aspect of your post
It really helped me when I was told that we have lived in the whirlwind of any substance miss use disorder we often mistake the sense of peace that comes with periods of abstinence for boredom. Even if you are in fact bored I promise that if you stick with it you will end up living a life beyond your wildest dreams full of interesting hobbies you could never previously see yourself enjoying.
@Mno Drinking was always an escape for me, among other things. I drank a LOT. According to my current shrink, I habitually use mind altering substances, to try to cope with my inner turmoil.
I do want to turn my life around. Who doesn’t? Who really wants to be that drunk psycho old man? I am trying to give up drinking as a start. It’s been a few days now. It’s been a little rough, but it’s under control - so far.
Cravings are bad sometimes. Whenever I crave too much, I just go out for a ride. Riding calms me. Sometimes I ride past wineshops. Everytime I do so, I have a tiny moment of weakness and I have to stop myself.
I am coping with several “mental issues”. I had a VERY eventful past. A bit of that "unpleasantness’ is still going on. I am trying very hard to deal with that.
Have been in and out of therapy for more than a couple of decades. I don’t like shrinks and it’s mutual.
I used alcohol to forget. Wipe out brain cells. But doing so came at a huge cost. It also nearly destroyed my life.
I am picking up the pieces. I won’t drink again. I’ve told myself that. That’s that.
If I even have a tiny thought in my brain, that I will drink again - I will definitely drink again. I know that. I am trying to keep that thought out of my head.
My “meaning” in life is tech. I am trying to replace the void that alcohol left in my life with some new tech knowledge and perhaps a new tech project. Fingers crossed
That made me smile. As you will very probably know, therapeutic connection is everything in predicting a positive outcome for therapy. I’m very lucky to do individual therapy now with a psychologist I like, and I think she likes me, and she’s capable too. But a good connection is absolutely prime.
I don’t like shrinks either. I tried therapy more than once during my using years but that just doesn’t work. Don’t have the introspection needed when drinking or drugging on a daily basis. Now I’m slowly making progress.
In my mind that’s a dangerous way of thinking. In the four years I’m sober now, I had some thoughts of drinking. Not many but a couple of times. But I made a deal with myself: never again. Whatever happens. So I stick to that, even when a very occasional thought creeps in.
Anyway, you just started. Take it one day at a time. Or one hour or one minute when needed. And plans are good. Also you’ll be surprised where life takes you if you just do your best to live life as well as possible. I am.
Thanks for posting this! 
