Wow. I can’t thank you enough for this message. It helps me so much to understand what I might feel sometimes. And your acronym is so relevant. It’s always one of this feeling that makes me uncomfortable and that I can’t manage “normally” for some reason. I’ll work on that from now on.
Thank you so so so much
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No problem. Keep it up, one day at a time. It will be an adventure & you will learn a lot - and you won’t regret any of your sober living 
So Day 5 : still no weed but I opened a can of beer and took two sips and when I realized what I was doing I threw the rest in the sink. Which made me realize that sometimes I just do thing on “automatic mode” without even being aware of what I’m doing 
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Regarding my problem with sugar, unfortunately I waved my stress away by devouring cookies until I had a stomachache. And I feel reeeeeeeally bad about that… 
So bad that it makes me forget my huge success regarding drug and alcohol…
Bought these on my way home today:
Do I “need” them? Probably not; I could live without it. Does it bump my calorie count above where it “should” be? A little.
Is it better than losing my sobriety? Hell yes.
Today is a win, Kubozoa. You poured that alcohol out, and you stayed focused on your prize. You succeeded today and you should feel good about that.
You mentioned you come from a small town. Do you have fond memories of that town? What sort of foods did you eat growing up?
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First, it looks yummy 
And yes I know what you mean… For sure eating cookies was a way better option than finishing that beer. I should be proud of that. Maybe I was a little too confident about fighting three addictions at the same time. Maybe two of them are a bigger problem than sugar. Maybe if cookies make sobriety easier, so be it for now.
Hmmm I think my best food memory from my echildhood is the apple crumble pie my mother always did on sundays. 
I don’t have so much memorie about something salty I used to like. I’ve never been passionate about non-sugary food… Like… I don’t care about pasta, pizzas, hamburgers or whatever. I don’t even enjoy salty junk food. I’d rather eat an apple than a chicken nugget because apple has a sweet taste.
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Wise words Be gentle; be kind. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show to a stranger in your position.
I love apple crumble! My mother made the same thing. She would make it in a casserole dish, but the ingredients were the same. It was the best part of Christmas and Thanksgiving.
I’m like that with my favourite fresh fruits: grapes and mangoes. I could eat them and not stop until the entire dish is gone.
One of the things that’s nice about sobriety is how much time we have (now that we’re not throwing it away). I wonder - do you think you could get into cooking delicious sweet things?
There’s a whole thread about it here, where you can share your creations:
Maybe explore some options online of good recipes - here’s one of my faves; I make it all the time (it’s simple, tasty [sweet] and healthy):
And if you’re feeling adventurous, explore the full selection of recipes! My mouth is watering just looking at the photos here
As humans we want to create. Creation is the thing we do; it’s what makes us different from rocks, trees, and most animals: we construct & shape our world into something new. Cooking is one way to explore that 
Have fun!
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When I first quit drinking I also had the same concern about sweets. I generally don’t eat a bunch of sugar and so far me it was crazy the amount I wanted. Almost a year since I started my journey with TS and a bit over 5 months alcohol free and I can assure you the cravings get better as you learn to spend your free time not drinking. Planning my days has been super helpful to make sure I am kept busy. You have this! And as Matt said don’t be to hard on yourself 
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There are soooo many markets in Marseille - maybe you could set up une petite boulangerie? I don’t know about you but I love it when I find homemade goods at a market. It’s one of my favourite things about travelling (I do it in my city too!)
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Hoooo thank you so so much again! You know what? I didn’t even realize I could actually cook something. But you’re right! Maybe it’ll be a nice moment for me. I might try tonight
And ofc I’ll show you
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Thank you so much today I’ll plan my evening
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Yes you’re right! All of this could help me stop seeing sugar as my ultimate enemy. It’s definitely not my e’emy as the same level as the two other substances
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Of course. One of the beautiful things about life is how there’s something constructive - there’s opportunity for growth - in everything: we just have to step back, breathe, maybe talk to some friends, and then we open our eyes to see it.
Enjoy your personal growth in this. It’s healthy, you deserve it, and it’s something you can be proud of
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Day 6 : No alcohol and no weed 
and less sugar than yesterday which is great but I felt that I couldn’t “keep” what was inside my body… So I did a stupid thing… And I’m not proud of it…
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That’s a hard feeling. It sounds like you feel like you’re “fighting” something inside you, maybe your image or your self-judgment; is that right?
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Definitely… I know this will be hard to read but I have to say that I’m full of self-hatred… I hate my body and I thing it’s destroying me
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Here is a link to your local AA group. http://www.aa-riviera.org/ Meetings, whether online or in person, are a great way to fill hours that can otherwise be a trigger. When I got sober, I went to about 5 meetings per week, since at lunchtime and some in the evening.
I should think that in person meetings will be starting up soon near you. The link also includes a phone number for contact. Good luck and blessings on your house 
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Oh Kubozoa - that is so hard 
It’s hard when you feel out of place in your body. It’s a struggle with the self.
If you don’t mind me asking, have you felt this way for long? Was it with you before you started drinking?
As long as I can remember, my first self-hatred thought toward my body was when I was 6 yo. I clearly remember me telling myself “why my belly looks like a jelly?”… And I can tell now that there is two things wrong about that. First, the fact that I told myself that at 6 yo, second, the fact that I still remember more than 20 years later as if it was yesterday. And since that day, things have just worsen. And I’m pretty sure that all my addictions are a kind of “distraction” I impose to myself just to stop thinking. Because I have to say that today I definitely have a problem with alcohol and weed but from the age of 18 to the age of 25 I was addicted to more dangerous drugs. With medical help, I successfully stopped those substances but I unconsciously fell into other addictions…
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Day 7 : still No cannabis and no alcohol today.
But no consistent food and 3 bottles of diet soda.
I share this piece of information because for me it’s important to be self-conscious that my daily behavior prove that my brain isn’t in peace with me quitting addictive substances.
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I just want to say you are so strong and you can do anything you set your mind to. I can’t imagine how hard it must feel to try and control so many addictions. One step at a time. I believe in you
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