Wow that’s a great picture! 
2 Likes
How’s your day going?
2 Likes
Well my day is going great. Usually during the working hours, I’m okay because my brain is occupied and I have people around so I can’t do stupid things. What’s hard is when I come back home. I leave alone, I have nothing to do, nobody to talk to and that’s when cravings appear. 
I guess it’s a way for me to “forget” loneliness and to manage my chronic stress linked to my job
2 Likes
Happy to read that you had a great experience there 
it’s indeed a wonderful place. But it’s not easy to live in big cities. I’ve been living in a charming little village my whole life before coming here. And I have to admit that my addictions started here. Maybe the life here stresses me out. 
1 Like
Loneliness is a common emotional trigger. Humans are social creatures; we need to connect with other people in meaningful ways. (The tricky thing for many of us addicts is we’ve been burying ourselves for years - trying to silence ourselves, often because at some point in our history we internalized the idea that we weren’t good enough or didn’t deserve to be seen or acknowledged. For this reason many addicts self-silence & numb themselves in addiction.)
There’s a useful English acronym for recovery:
HALT
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
- If you’re hungry, you need food.
- If you’re angry, you need recognition of needs or boundaries. (Anger is a natural human response to boundary violations or neglect. We all have it, and we need it in order to live balanced lives. The key with anger is to channel it into constructive communication, or constructive confrontation - either of which help to get what you need for your well-being.)
- If you’re lonely, you need human connection. (Music, museum visit, walk on the beach, mini-putt / mini-golf, pizza, etc etc. Any healthy social activity. Conversation, communication.)
- If you’re tired, you need sleep. Doesn’t matter if you think you have to do ___. Drop it, and sleep. You can do it after you rest.
Neglect of these four signals is a very common cause of relapse. Pay attention to how you feel, and ask for what you need. Ask for someone to call you. Ask for connection. Ask for your needs (space, sleep, food, etc). Be kind to yourself by asking for what you need - it will keep you safe and healthy.
1 Like
Wow. I can’t thank you enough for this message. It helps me so much to understand what I might feel sometimes. And your acronym is so relevant. It’s always one of this feeling that makes me uncomfortable and that I can’t manage “normally” for some reason. I’ll work on that from now on.
Thank you so so so much
1 Like
No problem. Keep it up, one day at a time. It will be an adventure & you will learn a lot - and you won’t regret any of your sober living 
So Day 5 : still no weed but I opened a can of beer and took two sips and when I realized what I was doing I threw the rest in the sink. Which made me realize that sometimes I just do thing on “automatic mode” without even being aware of what I’m doing .
Regarding my problem with sugar, unfortunately I waved my stress away by devouring cookies until I had a stomachache. And I feel reeeeeeeally bad about that… 
So bad that it makes me forget my huge success regarding drug and alcohol…
Bought these on my way home today:
Do I “need” them? Probably not; I could live without it. Does it bump my calorie count above where it “should” be? A little.
Is it better than losing my sobriety? Hell yes.
Today is a win, Kubozoa. You poured that alcohol out, and you stayed focused on your prize. You succeeded today and you should feel good about that.
You mentioned you come from a small town. Do you have fond memories of that town? What sort of foods did you eat growing up?
2 Likes
First, it looks yummy 
And yes I know what you mean… For sure eating cookies was a way better option than finishing that beer. I should be proud of that. Maybe I was a little too confident about fighting three addictions at the same time. Maybe two of them are a bigger problem than sugar. Maybe if cookies make sobriety easier, so be it for now.
Hmmm I think my best food memory from my echildhood is the apple crumble pie my mother always did on sundays. I don’t have so much memorie about something salty I used to like. I’ve never been passionate about non-sugary food… Like… I don’t care about pasta, pizzas, hamburgers or whatever. I don’t even enjoy salty junk food. I’d rather eat an apple than a chicken nugget because apple has a sweet taste.
1 Like
Wise words Be gentle; be kind. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show to a stranger in your position.
I love apple crumble! My mother made the same thing. She would make it in a casserole dish, but the ingredients were the same. It was the best part of Christmas and Thanksgiving.
I’m like that with my favourite fresh fruits: grapes and mangoes. I could eat them and not stop until the entire dish is gone.
One of the things that’s nice about sobriety is how much time we have (now that we’re not throwing it away). I wonder - do you think you could get into cooking delicious sweet things?
There’s a whole thread about it here, where you can share your creations:
Maybe explore some options online of good recipes - here’s one of my faves; I make it all the time (it’s simple, tasty [sweet] and healthy):
And if you’re feeling adventurous, explore the full selection of recipes! My mouth is watering just looking at the photos here
As humans we want to create. Creation is the thing we do; it’s what makes us different from rocks, trees, and most animals: we construct & shape our world into something new. Cooking is one way to explore that 
Have fun!
1 Like
When I first quit drinking I also had the same concern about sweets. I generally don’t eat a bunch of sugar and so far me it was crazy the amount I wanted. Almost a year since I started my journey with TS and a bit over 5 months alcohol free and I can assure you the cravings get better as you learn to spend your free time not drinking. Planning my days has been super helpful to make sure I am kept busy. You have this! And as Matt said don’t be to hard on yourself 
2 Likes
There are soooo many markets in Marseille - maybe you could set up une petite boulangerie? I don’t know about you but I love it when I find homemade goods at a market. It’s one of my favourite things about travelling (I do it in my city too!)
1 Like
Hoooo thank you so so much again! You know what? I didn’t even realize I could actually cook something. But you’re right! Maybe it’ll be a nice moment for me. I might try tonight
And ofc I’ll show you
1 Like
Thank you so much today I’ll plan my evening
2 Likes
Yes you’re right! All of this could help me stop seeing sugar as my ultimate enemy. It’s definitely not my e’emy as the same level as the two other substances
2 Likes
Of course. One of the beautiful things about life is how there’s something constructive - there’s opportunity for growth - in everything: we just have to step back, breathe, maybe talk to some friends, and then we open our eyes to see it.
Enjoy your personal growth in this. It’s healthy, you deserve it, and it’s something you can be proud of
1 Like
Day 6 : No alcohol and no weed 
and less sugar than yesterday which is great but I felt that I couldn’t “keep” what was inside my body… So I did a stupid thing… And I’m not proud of it…
3 Likes
That’s a hard feeling. It sounds like you feel like you’re “fighting” something inside you, maybe your image or your self-judgment; is that right?
1 Like
Definitely… I know this will be hard to read but I have to say that I’m full of self-hatred… I hate my body and I thing it’s destroying me
2 Likes