Derailment void / Off topic 2021 to present

[AyBee]

@SinceIAwoke

You exhaust me, bro.

Ouch

[erntedank]

You always crack me up Derek
This is a new record from post to void. I’m happy you made read up what the discussion was about, always interesting

[Amy30]

@anon68572606

It is a safe space and your personal shares are held to a confidentiality agreement. What is shared there cannot be said anywhere else to anyone else.

That is not true. Confidently giving out false information to people is not ok.

No one in AA signs confidentiality agreements and people can and do talk. Going to AA for peer support is a great idea and a great way to meet and connect with fellow addicts.

[anon68572606]

It’s a verbal agreement, not written. Like a Code of Conduct.

Please see and visit the attached.

What Can’t You Say in AA Meetings?

www.aa.org/faq/i-know-i-should-not-reveal-names-members-i-hear-aa-meetings-what-about-other-personal

[anon68572606]

Just to clarify, I wish and request for you and anyone else who doesn’t take the 12 step programs guidelines seriously, in my sake, to keep anything I’ve shared on here strictly confidential.

[Amy30]

It’s not binding. It’s a guideline, at best. Each group makes up their own rules. Saying that anything you share in a meeting cannot and will not be talked about with anyone ever is not true. AA is a peer support.

I’m not saying AA can’t be trusted. It is a very valuable resource for those us struggling with addiction. I’m saying people shouldn’t go into meetings thinking they have the same level of confidentiality protection they would in a clinical setting and it’s not ok to advise that they should.

From the website: Additional rules may vary from one AA group to another, as each group independently creates its own guidelines.

[anon68572606]

And sharing what is said by another is harmful, would you not agree? Especially if they say it in confidence?

There is always a risk, and we cannot control anyone but our own behaviours, but AA states that this is their expectation. I’m certain that when others first joined and got comfortable enough to be vulnerable it took time to gain the trust of others and the information that was shared, feeling that it wouldn’t be broadcast.

Your argument here is stating that it is not in the best intentions to keep what others share confidential, from what I understand.

[anon68572606]

I am no longer commenting on your stance and am continuing to move beyond your shares.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

[Amy30]

I’m confused about this post. As far as I’m aware, this is our first interaction.

Also, yay! Derailed.

[BJM]

Just an fyi, anyone can access and read this forum.
As for AA, guidelines are just that, morals are another, not everyone will follow guidelines and I have many times heard people talking about shares after meetings. We can shut it down and tell people it’s not appropriate and that is can be dangerous but there’s no law.
I stick to the message and practical ways to get and stay sober if asked to share and keep personal stuff between trusted friends or actual professionals not just anyone in AA, other peoples counsellors

[Amy30]

Well… that’s pretty much what I said… Along with the caveat that its not ok to confidently tell someone online that meetings are bound by confidentiality agreements.

And my words were twisted into something sinister and I’m being made up to be the villain. I really don’t understand.

[Dan531]

Rules still apply in the derailment thread. If you don’t like a member of the community mute them.

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Here is a link for TS rules and in this case specifically pay attention to this one:

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If you see something you believe is against community guidelines or rules flag it. Lets look to help, not fight.

[SassyRocks]

@Alycia

sugar free ginger beers

Oh!! What is the brand? I love ginger beer, hate the sugar content.

[Alycia]

Ooo I don’t know if you will be able to get it where you are, in Australia we have a brand called Bundaberg which does great soft drinks!
Aldi also offer a sugar free ginger beer too, if you have Aldi where you are.

[SassyRocks]

Australia has all the goodies!! Thank you, we just got an Aldi’s less than an hour away!

And your post really hit it for me as well. Especially this…

@Alycia

Being able to enjoy Christmas free from addiction, and clearheaded is a gift

[Alycia]

With fresh limes on ice, enjoy!!

[SassyRocks]

Perfection with the limes!!

I moved our side convo here.

[LovelyLya]

I don’t like saying it’s not a choice because that’s basically saying you’re not responsible. That means we can blame every which way because it’s not our fault. We are just like this. I don’t believe that realm of thinking. I believe there’s different levels or degrees of power of choice. But saying we have no choice means we can’t ever choose to change or be sober because it’s literally out of our control.

Having cancer isn’t a choice.
Getting drunk and killing someone in a car that IS a choice.

I have never understood that theory. I believe we can absolutely be weak and absolutely need help to combat our addictions and to flourish in sobriety as a choice but to single handedly say it’s not a choice means every person who’s an addict, who has killed or harmed or done something to someone or themselves under the influence has no accountability, no responsibility and gets off as a free pass. Because we didn’t choose to do it. We may be predisposed to addictive behaviors, etc, we have trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms, our upbringing, mental health and such which can all be factors influencing and snowballing addictive behaviors and making bad choices.

So the drugs or addiction made me do it? Mmm. Kind of the verison of the devil made me do it.

[Matt]

@LovelyLya

Having cancer isn’t a choice.

It is a choice to get effective treatment for cancer.

The choice is not about having the cancer. It’s about seeking effective treatment.

Addiction is very treatable. The treatment is the choice. The addiction is not.