Disordered Eating / Sugar Addiction

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Continuing the discussion from Any Sugar Addicts here?:

Starting this new thread (continued from the one above) because I need HELP, and I need to do something different, to hold myself to some sort of accountability, responsibility and commitment.

I have replaced my previous addictions to alcohol and cigarettes with an obsessive state of mind around food, with a heavy, deeply seated sugar addiction. And it’s making me sick - physically, mentally and emotionally.

I recognise all my old behaviours (and excuses/justifications) just in this new form. I have tried for so long now to get better, but to no avail. I feel pissed off, at myself of course; it’s just so frustrating to be caught up in another unhealthy, addiction that is having such devastating impact on my life (on my body internally and externally, stealing my joy, making me feel crazy, and stripping me of my sense of self-worth and self-love).

So, here I am. Day 0.
Feeling sick. Feeling defeated. Feeling like a fool, praying that “this time” is going to be different. The positive part is that I know I can do this, some how. I’ve done it before with the alcohol and smoking addictions. I need to believe this is as serious and important as those, for the consequences certainly feel so at this point. I pray that my Higher Power sees me through (I know he will if I only let him).

I’m going to check in here daily. I am going to start putting together my tool kit full of strategies, knowledge and advice & go-to’s to help make this journey doable and with ease. I am going to treat this addiction just the same as I have alcohol from now on. I will say no to the first one. I will play the tape all the way through. I will seek advice and share my experience and try to support others. I will take it one day at a time. And I will stop kidding myself that it’s ‘not that bad’ because even if it’s not, I know this is no longer what I want or how I want to be. Day 1 - I will make healthy, fresh food choices that nourish my mind, body and soul :heart: :pray:

Please feel free to travel this journey with me, check in here and share your experiences.

“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you”

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Hi @emc2018, sorry to read you are still struggling! I’m wondering if you’ve ever tried OA?

Do you manage to walk by the aisle in the shop and not pick up any sweets? What you don’t have, you can’t eat… Maybe create accountability by doing your shopping weekly with your partner or a friend who knows you must not buy sweets? I know these are more strategies to manage the addiction rather than beat it but can definitely give you a kick start, in my experience.
Do you feel you binge for the same reasons as you drank? If so, what can you do to tackle these reasons? Obvs you need to do sth else than you’ve tried so far. Have you ever seen a therapist or counselor?

I have been doing really well with the bingeing. That said, I have recently had a very stressful time where I resorted to the sweets as way of coping big time, but felt it was going to let off again as I found my footing in the new situation - and so it has. I know I have more to learn about myself and become more self-reliable. I’m in intensive psychotherapy (analysis) and it’s going to where all the hurt is and that’s good and healing in the long term.

Wishing you well! Good luck!

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Hi @Faugxh thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I haven’t tried OA… not sure what it is… I seem to go to the store specifically for sweets, or when I’m there, I loose my willpower so to speak, and end up buying chocolate. I am always telling myself “tomorrow is a new day” “tomorrow I will start my new healthy eating plan” but tomorrow never comes… it’s just a habit i’ve formed where I am saying each and every time that this is the “last time”. I definitely DO NOT hold myself accountable. Accountability is what I need. And also the belief that I CAN do this and I am worthy of feeling good, being healthy and happy. I have a really close friend who is also my roommate, I share a lot of my struggle with her, i think I will ask her if she will support me through this initially, go shopping with me and discourage me from buying chocolate and crap. Today, I’m focusing on my health and wellbeing, putting strategies and plans in place, or down or paper, organising myself for success. Commitment is the big issue for me. I have days where my resolve is SO strong, but then it dissolves and I fall back into my old, ingrained habits, and end up right back at the start, and the merry-go-round continues :roll_eyes: I definitely think that now I don’t drink, I’ve replaced my nicotine addiction and binge-drinking behaviours with an addition to foods - chocolate, sugary processed refined carbs etcfood that offers an immediate gratification but that gratification almost immediately disappears and turns into poor physical and mental health. I am also going to look into seeing my therapist again. I know that will help me. Anything that will help me through this, I accept and move toward with love and gratitude, knowing the universe has my back, that it loves me and is always working to guide me to the light… to joy, to love and happiness :pray::sparkles:

Thank you for the well wishes. Today is a beautiful brand new day, and I feel a change deep within. I feel empowered and confident. Each day, I am getting better at getting better :blush: :heart:

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OA = Overeaters Anonymous

Hoping you find a path that works for you here. I hear what you’re saying and you’re not alone. Keep searching & you’ll find the habits you need.

Have you read The Power of Habit?

Edit: on second thought I jumped into cognition & books ideas there when basic listening was probably better! :smile: I hear you about the struggle with eating. It is something I have struggled with more, recently. I’m not sure what to make of it. There’s definitely a pattern to it though, a preoccupation.

When you said, it drained your joy - that really struck me. The way I get preoccupied. There’s something about that preoccupation.

Yoda-Stevie has written several times about how his martial arts have helped him insert new habits - and new anticipations - in the place of the old ones he had when he was drinking. I think there’s some value to that. I am thinking I need to engage in some type of accountability to a larger scheme (in his case he uses a martial arts program; it could equally well be some other healthy activity).

Wishing you stability this week :+1:

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Is a great website about disordered eating. I read the newsletters and they often have great info.

I have posted on the sugar thread b4, so u probably remember me. My binge-eating is much better, and one thing is I have accepted my current weight. While I am still hanging onto the wish that I will lose weight, I fear over-eating and if I over-eat, I restrict for a bit then binge or go straight to the binge. When I remove that, if I over-eat, then I don’t panic. I am separating over-eating and binging. Even normal eaters overeat sometimes. They finish a pack of biscuits and feel a bit sick, then stop. Binging is when u finish a pack of biscuits, feel a bit sick, but get another pack of biscuits and another, until u really feel awful. Since I have removed the fear of over-eating, I have not binged. I have occasionally over-ate, but it has not spun out of control. As I am 10kg over my preferred weight, at some point in the future I hope I can reduce slowly and safely. But for now fixing my relationship with food is more important.

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I am focusing on eating 5 fruits and veggies, and exercising. Also, keeping mentally healthy. These things are just as important, if not more, than just “not eating too much”.

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Sugar is like cocaine, extremely addictive. Experiments in rats have shown that sugar activates the same area of the brain as cocaine, dopamine receptors. We “get high” on sugar. And since many of us here have addictive personalities, sugar addiction is real and hard thing to fight off just like our other DOCs.

Ive been eating very healthy since last year and i lost a lot of weight. I almost dont eat sugar anymore but occasionally i want to reward myself with sweets and sugar and i lose control. Its not a cookie or 2, its a box of cookies. Or a pint of ice cream, etc. It reminds of my problems with cocaine: sometimes i just wanted to “reward myself” and that would turn into a 3 day binge.
Even if i dont consider myself sugar addict, i see a parallel between my cocaine addiction and the sugar binges.
I was a watching a doctors lecture the other day where he says carbs and sugar are just like drugs and people are addicted to them. He said that the expression “you can eat chocolate, but in moderation” is wrong. According to him this is like telling an alcoholic “you can have a glass of wine, but just one”. Its not gonna happen.
Im starting to think that the only way to kill the sugar binges is to treat it like cocaine: dont use it, dont touch it and dont buy any. Just forget it exists, after a while without using it you wont remember or crave it anymore.

But then i think… fuck. Its just sweets, its harmless, why stop eating it?? Its not like a box of cookies will give me a heart attack or a stroke.

But i feel much better during my long periods of no sugars and refined carbs. Also i believe that sugar substitutes like stevia and monkfruit dont help the problem because, like cocaine, the addiction is psychological, not physical. These subistutes dont have sugar, dont spike your insulin but they still trigger your brain and release dopamine. So we keep coming back for more.

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Ok you made me start a sugar free period now :grinning: i stayed sugar free 2 weeks before but i wasnt avoiding it. I knew sooner or later id have sweets and probably over eat and i was cool with it. But thats dumb because it always made me regret a bit and feel bad about it. Damn its so much like a drug! The anticipation and first few bites are great but after you are done with it you are left empty and thinking “why? It just makes me feel like shit”.

Starting tomorrow i will try to remove sugar completely from my diet :smiley::hugs:

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Thank you @Matt @Pman @Misokatsu and @CapriciousCapricorn. Yes, I’ve started my counter. I’m at 17 hours :grin::muscle: everything you’ve all shared is really appreciated and helpful! Really helpful.

Wow, this :point_up::point_up: is EXACTLY what goes through my head too. I start to justify and convince myself that it’s ‘not that bad’ and to stop being overly dramatic. But the truth is in the pudding, (pun intended haha) because the pudding (aka sugary processed foods/carbs) makes me SICK. so sick. I know I can do better, I am worthy of the self-love and respect. We all are :heart:

And yes @Matt I love how yoda-stevie finds his discipline and commitment through his martial arts, I think I need something like this too. An activity that keeps me accountable.

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Hey team,
So here I am, again, back with my tail between my legs :slightly_frowning_face:
I’m disappointed to say that right now, I’m sitting here feeling very sick. My food choices today were appalling to say the least and now I am suffering the consequences. Far out, I can’t believe, having found this thread and re-reading it, that I am sitting here again, feeling just like I did the day I started it; and feeling as though I’ve learnt and achieved nothing. Reading what everyone said above, I realise that though while feeling and sounding quite determined then, it did not last and I didn not make real change. It never seems to last when I try. It wasn’t like this with alcohol and smoking… Well, it was at first I guess, but it seems like with this, with sugar/food, it’s so much more insidious, because society supports and markets poor food and diet very well, as if there’s nothing wrong. But there is! It making us SICK. It’s addictive.
Anyway, today I’m restarting the counter and committing again to doing and being better when it comes to my diet and lifestyle. My goal is to eat daily fresh whole foods that are nourishing to my body so that I can reclaim the physical, mental and spiritual health and wellbeing I was born to thrive with and FEEL GOOD

Please, anyone who reads this, I need as much accountability as possible. Please check in with me and help me do this :pray: and in return I hope I can help you too :slightly_smiling_face:

My check in today:
Day 0 quitting sugar & refined carbs
Day 549 no alcohol
Day 605 no smoking

Please, God, help me :pray: :sparkles: :heart:

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This is the lie our addict brain tell us. Just like when it yaps on about alcohol or drugs - “you can just have one” “it’s/you’re not that bad” etc etc

From now on, when I catch my mind starting to tell me this shit, I am not going to buy into it, just like I don’t when it’s about alcohol or smoking. I’m going to stop believing all the bullshit my mind says to me and just own the fact that I cannot have sugar, because it makes me sick and I am a better person (healthier and happier!) without it!

Time to start listening to the Universe instead of my own excuse-filled justifications that my head thinks up for something I know I don’t really want.

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I am struggling in that department too. I could do controlled eating for a while, then having big packs of things for over the holidays was too tempting. At least I have basically finished everything off now. But the cravings have cranked back up.

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I haven’t read it, but I have seen this book suggested a few times… @Lionfish did you have success with it? Can’t remember.

http://www.savorthebook.com/

I’m trying to get into a flow with my yoga and meditation practice (I can seem to do one or another, but I digress!), once I have then I am going to look at this.

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Sorry to hear you’re struggling too @Misokatsu. The struggle is real, addiction is hard.

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Thanks Sian! Feels a bit like divine intervention actually, you suggesting this book! As, today, I started a new book and it happens to be written by the same author and centres around the similar focus of mindfulness :sparkles:

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IMG202101012207071728×2304 1.1 MB

Thank you! :pray:

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I never had this before happening to me but i had a lot of sweets this new year and damn! I really felt like shit the next day! It was just like a hangover. I was clean of sugar for several months.

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I binge eat sweets also. I am ok here and there, but a lot of days I’m not. It kinda follows the waves of the times when the bipolar is acting a little silly.
Anyway, I ate so much last week.
So much that I made myself sick last wednesday. Like. I ended up seeing a doctor because my kidneys still hurt three days ago (tuesday), having ultrasounds and blood work yesterday. Luckily my blood test came back and I’m at least not diabetic, yet.
I am on day 2 with no candy or cookies. I don’t drink soda, so I don’t have any problem with that.

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The only thing I can’t seem to kick is the sugar.

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I read a book called Intuitive Eating. Here’s a link for the bullet points… it’s an easy read. Food disorders are difficult but we can recover. I follow a lot of people on IG that have recovered from this specific addiction, it’s super common but takes a different approach over an alcohol/drug addiction. I also unfollowed “perfect” IG accounts and started following “real” women, it helped me reestablish that there are many body types in this world.

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Em, how are you doing? Message me privately if you’d like to chat-I work with a lot of clients that have the same problem. Have you thought about holding yourself accountable by joining something like WW? The workshops are like AA meetings-very insightful and could help you with forming a community with like-minded people :heart:

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