I’m glad you’re here Cricket; I’m proud of you too… You are a strong girl! 
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“Demon” is a good word 
The “addict brain” definitely sneaks up on us and says, “Oh you deserve this, and it’s time to relax and let go - and there’s always tomorrow to be sober, right?”
Sneaky bastard.
Do you have a support group you can access? There’s lots of different styles to fit all kinds of different people. A lot of people find a group helpful to structure their recovery, and learn some psychological strategies to handle the “addict brain” when it sneaks up on you. It’s also helpful to get a deeper understanding of yourself, to really understand what you’re running from with your addiction.
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Hi @Cricket89, what you shared took honesty, guts and strength. This step in itself shows that you are in for the long haul, and that you have no excuses left. I am proud of you and I feel your transparency will help alot of people. One day at a time 
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Thank you. 
Yes, one day at a time.
I don’t have any in-person support groups. Just you guys right now. But I know it’s something to look into.
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Follow your own pace of course, but when you feel like you want to build your strength and challenge yourself a bit, check out your options (and feel free to visit different groups):
Resources for our recovery
Never, ever give up on yourself. You have it in you. You do 
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Keep pushing through you deserve a better life sober. It’s hard when you first start but after a little bit you get use to it, stay strong and take it one day at a time.
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Thank you, @Cricket89, for sharing your story. The timing was just right for me. Please know that the time you spent to share all of that was likely done with the intent to further help your goal for sobriety yet it has had a trickle-down effect. I am struggling hard-core today. So much sadness in my day has me desperately trying to avoid alcohol after 50 days. Your story is such a strong reminder of how much drinking would do nothing to help and has the potential for horrible consequences. Your story saved me. For that, I thank you. I haven’t had a car accident but that is just out of dumb luck. I relate to your story, pain, shame, and desperation. May you continue to find the strength to stay on your path. Largely because of your story, I will go to bed sober tonight and wake up with hope. Hugs and best wishes to you.
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That really touches me. You are right, alcohol seems like a quick fix to forget and escape but there are no good consequences. Not for your mind, nor your body or spirit. I am so glad my story can help you and vice versa. Sharing this love is raising my consciousness and positive energy. I hope the rest of your evening and tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow are much better than today.
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I’m also in Wisconsin… 
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Thank you, thank you!
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Glad you were ok and no one was hurt.
I’m only on day 18 but already feel much better, thinking clearer and the desire to have a drink has vanished. Sober really is much better than drunk plus I’ve saved a bunch of $$$
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Thinking of you @Roundkick. You are a stable person, you have put down sober roots, you’re seeing growth & personal progress. You’ve been through so much and you are still just getting started.
This moment is the time when you look deep inside you and keep walking, one step at a time. Your mind is spinning right now and that addict brain is playing tricks on you, pulling you into a whirlwind. You don’t have to go there love. She doesn’t have power over you.
Stay steady. Go for a walk, really backtrack, think back to where those thoughts are coming from, when they started today or yesterday and what you were doing & feeling - and I guarantee you’ll find why that addict brain is acting up. You don’t have to give in. You are wiser now and she doesn’t control you any more. 
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Thank you, Matt. I needed to hear that. 
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I keep re-reading your post, Matt. It is helping me.
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I’m glad Take care. I know the feeling of your mind running around. Find something to let you process that safely. You can get through this. You can.
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Thank you
Thank you and glad to be here with you
Hey! So glad you’re here. So much of what you said rings true for me. I was also good at hiding my addiction bc I was successful etc and made terrible choices while drunk. I never crashed the car…but my god could I have…a thousand times. The amazing thing about sobriety is that once you start getting sober…you become proud of your choices…especially “ not drinking today…no matter what” I am STILL proud every single day that I make it through without drinking…and drinking isn’t even something I think about any more really. Becoming someone i can be proud of continues to make we want to act better. It’s a “vicious” cycle. Really glad you’re here💛
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