Is anyone also struggling to be different in a workplace that promotes drinking culture?
I live in the UK. Working in recruitment corporate office where majority of the employees are 30+ “fun crowd”. My company encourages “socialising and networking” which basically means beer fridge opening every Friday at 3 pm, announcing Monday start at 10 am so we have time to sober up after drinking on Sunday because England plays against Italy, quarterly awards where you get a bottle of champagne for meeting your targets and corporate events where alcohol is the first thing that you get at the door before any food.
There is no alcohol free drinks on Friday, no other bonuses to be received apart from a bottle of booze. When did alcohol become a norm for a modern corporate culture and drinking with your boss a huge perk for the staff?
Would any of you go to HR to voice your opinion and try to bring a change, or would you just keep doing your thing and giving your “perks” away to your team mates to enjoy?
I am curious to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.
In my ho I’d just understand that some ppl can enjoy drinking and have a few and leave it others it sets off a whole change of events, concentrate on you and your journey, I think going and seeking answers BC you feel uncomfortable BC it’s all revolved around alcohol is just trying to bend it to fit your wants and needs, you don’t want to have your work life friends revolved around the bottle but unfortunately alot of ppl enjoy in moderation.you could bring it up that instead of being handed a bottle BC you don’t drink it could be something else, when I got clean I thought BC I was changing so fast that everyone else around was too but nope it was just me and my journey that was changing, be patient it really does take alot of adjusting when we get clean and sober. If your not comfortable around alcohol opt out until your alittle more prepared, all the best.
I say just do your sober thing, bring your own drinks for Fridays, enjoy the extra time while your colleagues are hanging out of their arses and give booze to people who want it. Maybe if you keep getting booze bonuses, a quiet word with your line manager about having an alternative option. It doesn’t seem fair to not be able to enjoy the rewards of doing a good job!
I also live in the UK and about to start at a company that also promotes friday drink in the office and “drinking social events” working in the media sector in the past we’ve had mini bars on the office floor and going into a new environment with new faces definitely posses me a challenge but I guess I’ll need to take it in my stride and try to opt for soft drinks while socializing.
There is also the other factor of them thinking that I’m “boring” for not drinking.
I hear your pain bro and have a few friends who work in recruitment so I know the exact environment your talking about.
My advice would be to just stay strong headed and say no kindly to any alcohol but obvs it easier said than done but I’m sure you’ve got it in you.
I live in Australia and so can relate with you. However I worked in corporate and gifts were more relevant such as flowers and plants and vouchers. Mostly middle aged women though.
I avoided xmas parties only coz I didn’t want to drink too much and make a fool of myself.
I’d gently make a suggestion if they could supply some non alcoholic drinks…and let them know what, such as sparkling water for example.
Just don’t be boring Anything you enjoyed doing drunk you will probably also enjoy sober. So you will be fun to be around! Most people won’t even notice you’re not drinking. Others will be impressed. You may notice that other people don’t drink quite as much as you thought I.e. as much as you did. Anyone who is an arse about it… Well that says more about their drinking than anything else.
If you need alcohol to make a situation tolerable and it’s optional, just skip it. Why waste life doing boring pointless shit? That’s the point of stopping drinking, to actually live life instead!
You are right. It’s just a shame that a lot of my work colleagues used to have 2 beers after work in January and now have 6.
I can see them going where they probably don’t want to go, but not realising. I’m far from preaching and telling them it’s bad. It’s their life.
I just wish that non-drinkers didn’t have to bend into the rest that drinks. I have a lot of Muslim colleagues as well. It’s not only struggling people but also those who differ in other ways who are not being taken into consideration.
I totally understand where your coming from but you do you, that’s all anyone can ask…once you get a month or so behind you perspective changes ALOT it can be very empowering saying no I’m OK to a cola or whatever soft drink BC your taken bk control.
I have almost 19 days. I am not sure I was an alcoholic because I quit it without any withdrawal symptoms. My body seems not to be bothered that I am not drinking anymore. It’s just I was emotionally attached to it and felt it’s not the same without a beer in my hand. I have recently noticed that I have started doing things that seemed inappropriate to me two years ago i.e. having a pint at lunch break, drinking alone, having a double rum on ice after “tough Monday” and I got really scared I will end up at some point where my father did. (He died of alcoholism related ilness).
I was asking to find out how to help others at work as well without coming across as a “preacher”. Few weeks back I would treat a non-drinker differently to a drinker, thinking they are exaggerating.
I will be bringing smoothies to work on Fridays now! Thank you!
New in the environment, corpo talk everywhere, everyone seems to know each other, anxiety creeping on you and you just want that drink in your hand to feel normal/ accepted/ blend in.
I have some friends in media and creative. They love their drinks and joints. They have that “bohemian” approach to themselves.
When are you starting your new role? Do you have any tactics prepared that you could share?
As a HR DIRECTOR I am appalled by this! I would definitely have alcohol free drinks available as well. Maybe that’s the alcoholic in me, but I would try to include everyone. That’s our job in HR, to insure everyone has fun! Definitely take this to HR, if anything else it might get some alcohol free beer!
Starting a new job is an awesome opportunity to make a sober start - no one will associate you as a drinker etc. Of course it may feel easier to fall into familiar patterns. A drink to calm the nerves, to get the conversation flowing, to fit in. This is big stuff to work on, to undo however many years of social conditioning. Don’t underestimate it! But it’s totally possible.
There are loads of really awesome sober resources - I read a book called This Naked Mind which helped me think about my relationship with alcohol at the beginning. There are tons more - books, podcasts etc. A decent list here:
Also lots of good tips about socialising sober here - appreciate not all relevant as you can’t necessarily avoid being in the office! But hopefully some helpful stuff
You are right, I think I will speak with my team leader tomorrow and ask to give people an option for something else than expensive bottle of liquor. Only openly Muslim people get chocolates instead. The rest is automatically gifted booze. The quarterly awards are this week, it’s time to say something.
PS. Very nice to meet an HR Director (I’m currently studying towards my CIPD qualification in HR :))
The word alcoholic is a funny one, I never identified with it either as I didn’t have a physical dependence. I have settled on ‘binge drinker’ to describe my drinking. Some people in a similar situation to me describe themselves as alcoholics. For me that’s irrelevant, I had a problematic relationship with alcohol and sobriety is my solution!
Not to trivialise the physical withdrawal process at all, it sounds terrible, but once that’s done I think we all have similar challenges in maintaining sobriety. We all used alcohol (and/ or other substances) to ‘help’ us get through certain situations… Even though our consequences and lives may be quite different.
Smoothies sound like a great idea… Who knows other people might get on board and you could get an AF bar set up in competition with the beer fridge
Sorry to hear about your Dad, good for you for choosing a different path
I agree, the term alcoholic is not as relevant as the fact that I had 6 physically depended drinkers in my family including my father and I am far from wanting the same fate for myself!
This Naked Mind helped me a lot. I read the entire book in three days and reading it again now but slowly. It sinks in and hopefully it stays there for good. It’s a slippery slope, no matter if I am alcoholic now, I could always become one if I kept binging long enough.
Thank you all very much for your posts. It helps a lot to be able to ask something here and not be automatically dismissed as someone who exaggerate the role of alcohol in the working environment or in life in general.
I downloaded the app almost three weeks ago but joined the community only today and I have already benefited from it. Thank you!!
Anything you enjoyed doing drunk you will probably also enjoy sober. So you will be fun to be around! Most people won’t even notice you’re not drinking. Others will be impressed. You may notice that other people don’t drink quite as much as you thought I.e. as much as you did. Anyone who is an arse about it… Well that says more about their drinking than anything else.
