I was doing pretty well not drinking for the last few months but I’ve been having a bad week and drank a lot the last few days. My fiance has been unemployed for about a month and my job pays very little. We’ve both been searching for new positions but it’s not going well. Then yesterday I get an email seeming like I might be fired for using approved FMLA time that I need for multiple mental illnesses that occasionally keep me from working and I just lost it and drank as hard as I could. We already have negative accounts, are in debt, getting food from the food bank. We cannot afford me getting fired and I don’t know what we’re going to do. I’m trying to keep it together for my fiance and not black out every night like I used to before I started trying to get sober but I feel like I can’t deal with the world right now. I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting on here, I think maybe I just needed to tell someone. No one knows about my alcoholism apart from my fiance and we’re both not good about asking for help in terms of us trying to stay afloat money wise. Paying for my healthcare appointments and medication has been hard as well as paying rent. If we lose this apartment we won’t have another option. I just don’t know what to do.
Thanks for reading, I hope someone can relate.
Hi @emi01, welcome to Talking Sober! 
I love the cats in your profile pic. There’s an active thread here for cat lovers, you should check it out:
It sounds like you have a problem, and you know it. That’s a good place to start! Seriously. All of us have been to exactly where you are right now emotionally, and many have been in your shoes financially too. It is scary.
It is possible to get clean and fix this. The solution starts with getting sober, because using (whatever addiction it is, alcohol or anything else) always makes things worse (it never makes things better).
You will need some help to get clean. There is lots of knowledge here on Talking Sober - read around and you will find lots; there’s also lots of good books and podcasts (Resources for our recovery - and there are also groups you can join, like SMART Recovery, AA, or others (there’s a list here: Resources for our recovery). Membership in those groups is free and you will be able to learn from people who have worked their way to sobriety.
Don’t give up. It is possible.
Stay active here on Talking Sober. Check out the Checking In thread, and catch up on what everyone else is going through:
You can do it.
Welcome @emi01
Im so glad you found us. Your writing reminds me alot about the deep depression and hopeless discontent i found myself in 2.5yrs ago when i finally admitted i need help. Me drinking at my problems was not working anymore. I was stuck in a habit. I found this community and tried AA and Dharma Recovery meetings for support and accountability. Putting in the work to break the addiction cycle allowed me more space and energy to take on life problems.
Its not easy but it is SO worth it.
It sounds like you are under alot of stress.
Welcome Emi!
That feeling of dispair you describe is familiar.
You can turn your life around now if you have the willingness. I got to the point that I was willing to do anything before losing everything. Sounds like you’re there now. The great news is, there’s help out there and it’s free. I found that free help in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. There’s a free app called “meeting guide”. It’s blue with a white folding chair. Enter your location and you’ll get a list of meetings in your area.
I remember the fear all too well. For me, the acronym used to mean “fuck everything and run”. It now means “face everything and recover”.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
Hey buddy,
I can relate. Oh boy can I relate. I spent the first half of my adult life scraping by, on state assistance programs, food banks, asking local churches for help paying the heating bills; always being half a paycheck away from being unhomed. All while maintaining a drinking problem.
I can assure you, things will get better, but you have to set yourself up to succeed before you can succeed, and that may mean sobriety. One things for sure, continuing drinking will be a speedbump if not a roadblock to success.
Take it one day at a time, that’s all you can do.
Also know that, in the US, (it is my understanding that) you cannot be fired just for taking FMLA (before, during, or after), theres protections for that, (doesn’t mean people wont try, its just illegal to).
I wish you the best and if you need any advice or someone to talk to, just ask!