Hi friends!
I’m 2 months sober and by time my friends wedding next month I will be 3. The last 3 weddings I’ve been to I have gotten blitzed essentially so I’m nervous to do this one sober.
I’m sure there will be tea and water and mixers but I’m preparing myself to have water if there’s not a lot of options. Maybe some soda but I doubt anything fancy.
I’ve done Vegas and vacation sober and dancing sober but I have yet to attend a wedding sober.
She’s a close family friend. My mom is going to not drink with me I just am asking any futher advice. Thank you1
You’ll be three months sober, you’ll look fantastic and be present in a way you weren’t at the previous weddings. You’ll also have your mother to enjoy the occasion with. Eat lots of delicious food and have a great time! Special occasions are something all us sober people have to engage with eventually and they shouldn’t be dreaded, they should be enjoyed.
I went to my very first sober wedding on Friday night. It doesn’t phase me anymore. I like people watching, and when they get tipsy or drunk, I’m always glad it’s not me. I went with a mutual friend of the brides and we made a pact to split out early. But we ended up being one of the last one’s out!
So, maybe I’m weird, but drunk people amuse me. People watching while sober is a lot of fun. You remember everything, don’t make a scene, and wake up feeling great, not sweating with a hangover. You’ll also notice that people probably don’t drink as much as you thought they did. That was pretty eye opening for me. So basically what works for me is people watching and being glad it’s not me.
First off, it’s totally normal to be nervous about doing these things sober for the first time. I know I was!
I went to my first sober social when I was a couple months sober and I found these resources really helpful >>
I also felt like I really wanted to go, so for me having an exit plan was important. I was worried about leaving early but on the day it really didn’t matter. I noticed lots of people do it and no one bats an eye!
I had something to do early in the morning the next day which gave me something to look forward to as well as a reason for leaving early in case anyone asked (although no one did, ha). I also had a sober buddy and made sure I always had a drink in my hand - it was a house party so I bought my own but that included sparkling water and ginger ale.
For me it was really helpful to realise that while my presence at functions is usually appreciated, it is very rarely so crucial to the success of the event that I have to stay if I’m feeling uncomfortable. Like @Girlinterrupted I was also surprised at how much most people actually don’t go mental. It was brilliant to really be present, to enjoy the company of people I like, not over share, not say and do things I later regretted, to dance and chat and laugh and remember it all the next day, hangover free!
Have you read This Naked Mind? I would recommend it if not. There is also loads of other quit lit, recovery podcasts etc which might be worth dipping into to, to help strengthen your recovery mindset before you go. Lots of examples here! >> Resources for our recovery
Thank you this is true and I’m really excited to support my friend!!! 
Thank you so much
Thank you so much. I’m actually nervous to see drunk people but it’s inevitable and I need to learn to coexist. Thank you for all the feedback and advice it is really appreciated
Once you get used to it, I can’t explain it, but you feel really good about being sober. I find them amusing, mostly because they are not sloppy messes like I was, but just more “open” if you will. Don’t focus on what you can or cannot drink. Instead, focus on the event. In the past such events were just excuses for free drinks. But this is a wedding, what a fun celebration!
You can do this and it will get easier over time. In the past, even with close friends and family, I have skipped events if I felt my sobriety was in danger. True friends and family will always understand that. Remember it’s your life and health and it’s always ok to protect your sobriety. I know it doesn’t seem like an option, but it honestly is.
Another option is to go to the ceremony but not stay for the reception which seems like a nice compromise. You got this!
In the beginning I missed events to protect my sobriety. Life went on. Without my sobriety, I have nothing.
On a side note… Ms. Monkey is a normal drinker. We went to a concert last night and she said, “I have to admit, concerts are a lot better when I dont drink”. I giggled, reaffirmed that she can drink around me. She just prefers not to drink anymore.
Point being, even normal people enjoy life better sober.
Id say go and have a good time enjoy yourself, something we can do when we start living again. Dont be too nervous your just a guest remember that, your not the one getting married, and dont drink youll be fine.
Thank you! If it was my wedding I would
Have all the alcoholic free wines for myself hahaha thank you!
Thank you for that!! What did you see? Sounds fun!
Thank you so much I really appreciate it and I know I have an army of online people I can always post something if I’m getting overwhelmed or tempted thank you so much 
First day was Seether and 3 Doors down. Second day was Toby Keith.
That’s awesome I’m seeing two concerts in October and look forward to being fully present for both. 
Don’t stress too much about it, you’ll be fine buddy 
Look forward to finding out what it’s like… Not everybody is a drinker, besides new experiences are what make up life’s awesome details. 
My advice to you is your mindset.
Go to the wedding with one rule, you’re not going to drink alcohol.
Now follow that rule.
My story.
I was at a big family event a few weeks ago and went with that same rule of no drinking. What I liked about it was
Not running to the bathroom every half hour
Being able to converse sober with friends
Seeing that I was far from being the only one not drinking.
Being sober late into the night
Waking up with no hangover
Plus I enjoyed the whole event by seeing it through my sober eyes.
Try it. Best of luck 
If you are not confident, you can go to the wedding but not the reception. If you do go to the reception, you don’t have to stay long. If dinner is involved, plan on bailing after dinner. I can tell you the honest truth, no one will die if you leave early, but if you stay, and you end up drinking, you might. 
thank you!
My mom is opting out with me so we should be okay. I never thought of leaving early- lol!