For those who know me here thank you for all your kind words and caring. I am feeling so depressed I feel like I can’t ever stop drinking like what’s going to happen. Two days ago after work I was debating with myself if I should go straight home or go to the bar, I ended up going to the bar and got drunk. I ended up ubering home then left again walked miles to my ex’s house threw rocks to his window, he never woke up lol so While walking back home a police picked me up and brought me home my daughter opened the door and had to see her mom being brought back by a police. I am scared that this will be the rest of my life I will never be normal again because I can’t stop drinking. I can go a couple days without drinking but I can’t help but to go back to that drink that I need so much. I am scared am such a failure… Alcoholism has s a disease and like other diseases sometimes you can be cured or have surgery but not this disease…
Hi Randie, what have you tried to do to get sober? apart from just trying not to drink? how have you tried to change your life?
I’ve had a look at your other topics. You’re not in the habit of coming back and interacting with the people who lend you a hand and give you advice. It’s more the pattern of cry for help and then going AWOL.
They say if nothing changes, nothing changes. It looks to me like you need to make sobriety a priority in your life and actually start taking some measures to give yourself a chance. Meetings, interactions here (that means back and forth, sharing, being accountable, not dropping one dramatic topic then disappearing), reading literature, starting therapy - these and many many more measures would be beneficial to you. You gotta start putting in the work.
So true as to my disease. We can live without it though (booze), lots of folks do.
I knew my drinking was abnormal cause I couldn’t go more than a day. I accepted I drank all my share faster than most, got in a place in my head to ask for help and was willing to do shit differently than I had.
You’re not alone and we don’t have to do this alone.
Try a meeting, find a likeminded sober person to talk to. We never have to do day 1 again. Hugs
You can stop drinking. You need help to do it.
You clearly want to be sober. You have good reasons to be sober. There’s lots of help for you on this site. There’s help for you out in your 3D world. Let the people here support you and guide you to your best self. Your sober self.
I have also gone awol drinking and the police ended up being involved. I wondered if that was just my life now, too. But I did stop and you can stop. It is possible. There are many examples of people who stopped on this site. What have you tried so far to quit? I couldn’t do it alone, I needed a program and support.
You are absolutely not a failure. What you have tried in the past hasn’t worked to keep you sober so it’s time to try something else. Try a meeting, read some sobriety books, get into exercise or eat everything you crave while you are trying not to drink. Being here and admitting you need other people in your recovery is a great first part of the process. Keep going. We are all addicts here and have had the same thoughts you have. Find your strength and keep practicing saying no to alcohol. Welcome.
Randi, I looked back at your prior posts and see how much you truly want to quit.
I am glad you are here, reaching out to people to help you, so you do not feel so alone. …
Posting here… talking about it, being accountable, going to AA meetings if they are still available and nearby or online and most importantly making that commitment to your self that you want to quit. This site has zoom meetings which might also help you. You are not alone.
Ask for the help that you need to be a success.
I love all the answers here in this thread. We are all not failures. We are addicted to a horrible substance and without help, I learned, I can not stop or be stopped. I have tried everything else alone because I didn’t want to admit I have a problem but I would always start again and having terrible guilt, hangovers, Depression etc. You all know what I’m talking about. So I finally went back to my home group of AA where I was welcomed back in such a beautiful manner. So the only two things that I focus on now in these days are to not drink and get my ass to a meeting every day. This is it. That’s what I need. Maybe try a meeting? It’s normally the last thing we do and the first thing that helps.
Bless you, it might help to see AA and all the wonderful people you will meet there as the surgery you would like to have for this dis-ease. I couldn’t do it alone there is a solution, I’m sending you light and hoping that you find it when the time is right.
I think your getting close to that jumping off point, when you know you can’t carry on like this you’ll only be left with one other option. When your ready reach out, there is another way I promise you.
you’re right, I work a lot it’s probably the only time i don’t drink. i’ve tried AA and nothing
how can i zoom here
Search “zoom meetings for TS users” in the search bar.
What does “I’ve tried AA and nothing” mean? The biggest tool I have in my sobriety toolkit is community, both virtual and in real life. There are dozens of other sobriety communities out there. If you accept that your life will be better without alcohol, then you will do what it takes to get and stay sober. Wishing you the best, Randie.
I am back not much has changed, and the depression and anxiety has been getting worst. I truly appreciate everyone that has taken the time to hear me out and have such great advice and care for me. I am going to a meeting tomorrow and try to figure how to zoom here as well. I just can’t take one more day of alcohol it’s making my depression and anxiety even worst. I have no want to even get up from bed. I must do this, if anyone has any advice please I will take it all.
Have you sought professional help for your depression?
Yes, but mixing it with alcohol is never going to help me
Oh yeah best to sober up first else drinking on meds messes it all up.
Exactly, you need to know the baseline, so you know what you are working with, and drinking makes everything chaotic. Keep trying things. AA or any program is not a magic pill, you have to put in effort.
I went to inpatient for 28 days so I could sober up and let my meds start to work. Got some strength going forward and a plan to stay sober outside of rehab.