Getting through situations . .

I’m just asking if anyone has any tips and advice for staying alcohol free during occasions where you would normally drink and having having to be around others drinking like nights out, holidays, parties? I’m wondering the easiest way to get through these situations :grimacing::grimacing::thinking::thinking:

Someone posted a great list before, something like - having a plan, like what u will say if people ask, what af drink you will have, and get one as soon as u arrive to keep ur hands busy, deciding exactly when and how u will leave.

6 Likes

My plan.

When your early in recovery don’t go.
When you can’t skip, be honest about your recovery. At least to some people on the occasion. They can check on you. My colleague/friends did when I had a business situation with alc. That was helpful.

Good luck and welcome!

9 Likes

Very early in my recovery I had to…I didn’t have to actually, I chose to go out with friends who were visiting the city from my home country. I knew how risky it was but went anyway with a focus. I was honest with them from the beginning that I wasn’t drinking. It didn’t stop them from offering me drinks. I had my non-alcoholic beers and managed to go through the night. It can happen. But I would advice you to examine yourself and your own limits. If you absolutely have to, as @ThajokerNL said, be honest about your recovery. Check in on the forum when you feel a craving. I did. And reading a few posts helped.

All the best my friend. You’re going to make it. x

3 Likes

Great friends :thinking: that must not have been the most fun evening ever.

2 Likes

Being prepared helps me. Pack a cooler with sparkling waters, kombucha, & cold coffee. I bring snacks too. Everyone likes snacks! :slight_smile:

If it’s downtown, I make a plan. Check the map for near by coffee shops. Look at the venue’s website & menus. Know your options. Sometime, I go early & leave early.

3 Likes

Indeed mate. It was a one time thing and there’s no way I’m repeating that again. Also, it felt strange being the sober one at some point. They were all drinking and smoking weed and I was looking at them thinking, wow! Boy am I glad I’m not in that situation. The indecisiveness about where to go drove me up the walls! Not fun at all…but…I made it through sober! That’s my biggest takeaway from that experience.

4 Likes

I took the easy way, I simply didn’t go.

If you don’t want to wrestle a lion, you don’t walk into it’s den.

When you get sober, there’s so many changes that happen physically, mentally and emotionally. People I used to ride hard with… I didn’t enjoy hanging around them anymore, we were on different wavelengths, I started viewing things they did as sketchy, things I used to do.

It became a simple solution to me, what do I value more, my sobriety or my “social” life. I chose sobriety, and life has gotten so much better than it was. Gonna be 2 years sober in a few days, and I wouldn’t change anything… wouldn’t change the years of drunken debauchery, the catalyst that got me sober, the hardship of relearning life to remain sober.

Keep trudging pal, check in often, read, relate and share in the experience.

12 Likes

Thnx for elaborating on it. Might help OP to prepare for what’s to come.

In my case it was just an after meeting drink thing so there was no heavy drinking.

This Christmas I did go to a friend’s house where people were drinking. But the sentiment was easy. 2 guys did not know about my story and I didn’t know them… They offered me 1 beer I just said no I don’t drink and it was accepted that was great. But I was over 120 days in then. I wouldn’t recommend anyone in the pin cloud or in wall phase to put their sobriety at risk.

4 Likes

True. I’m sorry…should have been clearer. It’s not an easy feat. I wouldn’t go at an early stage…unless absolutely certain…yet absolute certainty is not a thing that exists.

All the very best.

1 Like

Best thing I did was just not worry about it. Don’t think further than the next hour, minute.
Have the plans above sorted in your head! Have a drink memorised so if asked it rolls straight off you tongue.
Apart from that just keep reminding yourself that that’s not you anymore!
Half the problem in my experience is we worry too much about this sort of thing. How are we going to get through this? This worry is harmful in itself. Hence why we need to just take it a moment at a time.
Before you know it, you’ll be home and wondering what all the fuss was about.

7 Likes

I recommend skipping the occasion. It is my trigger even if I prepare myself. I basically don’t go to gatherings anymore. One on one coffee if I must.

Good luck! Stay strong! You can do it!

6 Likes

Here is a recent thread with lots of suggestions and a link to another thread with suggestions in it too, if that’s what you were thinking of :blush:

Am going to add this to the new for 2020 thread too!

2 Likes

Wow thanks guys :raised_hands: all these comments are so inspiring . . . I’m so glad I came I found this community. I’m struggling with the insomnia that comes with not drinking at the moment so being in touch with people all over the world makes it so much easier as there’s always someone to talk to 24/7 :+1::+1::grinning:

4 Likes

This is where I found this site so good as well.
When I was awake at stupid times I could talk to people. Made some good friends talking at 03.00 in the morning.

Good advice received already!! Here is some more…

Advice for holidays, parties, weddings, etc

1 Like

Early sobriety give it a body swerve till you get stronger in your sobriety , i love going to AA dances putting on my kilt and letting the boys swing free plenty of social events you can go to without drink being served ,used to go 10 pin bowling with my home group , nights out for a curry wish you well

4 Likes

dont dwell on not drinking, enjoying the company is a must (dont go if the people are shite) and bring your own mock-tail mix - like, seltzer water and lime. x

4 Likes

Here’s something maybe useful. A website from an addictions coaching center.

3 Likes

I’m on my way home from a work event right now. And I’m pretty sure I was the only one not drinking. I got my seltzer water as soon as I got there, so I always had something non-alcoholic to drink. People did question it if they overheard me ordering the water, but I just told them that I’m not drinking. I just remind myself that I’m doing this for ME and that’s all that matters.

3 Likes