Hey guys my name is Mariza I’m 25 years young and I’m currently 7 months sober from meth. This is my 1st time ever having to get sober in over 10 years i feel blessed that im even able to experience sobriety today and SO FAR SO GOOD(: the thing that im struggling most with right now is that ill be finished with my court ordered stuff at the end of this month and ill “be free” and im honestly TERRIFIED! I think a big part of why ive done so well is cause i know “i have to” or ill probably go to jail… & Idk if im ready or strong enough to have my own back right now😔 i thought id be happy to be done with everything but what i feel when i think about it is the exact opposite… MY BIGGEST FEAR IS RELAPSING, i dont want to let myself down or any of the people who’s been supporting me… like i said this is my 1st time being sober i dont want to fail💔
Is any formal treatment part of your court order? If not, getting involved in an IOP would be a good place to start to get support when you are done with court stuff. I’m glad you came here to share, too. This forum is a wonderful place full of information and helpful people. Spend your free time living on this site and you won’t be sorry. Have you checked out any of the threads for newcomers or regarding relapses? Here are a few you can start with. My DOC is alcohol, and while I can’t relate to meth use, I do know the fear of relapse and the obsession of an addictive substance. It is so smart to be looking for help now before you’re “cut loose,” so to speak, and tempted to rely on the substance. Hang in there! You deserve a happy, clean and sober life. I’m rooting for you.
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
Lots of people, new to recovery as well as old timers, check in on this thread often if not every day or multiple times a day. It’s a great place to make connections and you can share as much as you feel or post that you need some support if you’re feeling close to crisis. I highly recommend it!
I forgot to say big congrats on 7 months clean!!! Court order or not, that’s a big freaking deal. 
Thank you for being so welcoming i appreciate u taking the time to read a little bit about me(:
Congrats on 7 months at such a young and vibrant age. What have you been doing in the last 7 months to support your sobriety? What can you add to your routine to make your commitment to a sober life stronger? These are questions I would be pondering, and do in my journey from time to time. TS is a great forum. You’ll find lots of support here.
Thank u for replying. Well i start my days by calling EVERY morning @7am for random UA’s. For my meetings, so far ive just been sticking to my weekly Reflections Group class every Wednesday as well as my individual meetings for substance abuse & mental health. I love all 3 and they all have helped me sooo much! Ive also recently started going to Aftercare which is another group meeting but IS NOT a requirement, im currently 2 meetings in right now & it is a weekly thing too(totally up to u if u want to attend or not). Im thinking about picking up another class for when im done to keep me involved in recovery as much as possible!(:
Welcome and congratulations on your 7 months! It sounds like you are being honest with yourself and I appreciate you sharing your feelings. It IS scary worrying about relapse. I am no expert, but it sounds like you are staying busy and active in your recovery and to me that is key. Any after care available, classes or meetings or whatever…keep taking advantage of. And visit here as much as you can / need. We might not be there in person for you, but the light is always on here for those in need. 
Thank you! & will do! I agree, staying active with classes and meetings are key!
You will be free! So don’t throw away your freedom and put yourself into a cage of addiction.
Addiction rules your life, your physical body (literally!) Your mind (literally!) Your wallet, your decisions, ultimately your success… So keep yourself free!
I agree i jus hope I’m strong enough for what’s to come and when i need to be💪
Sure be strong but you also need to be prepared, create the tools and the situations that you need in order to survive. When the addictive voice comes trying to prey on you, draw your sword and look it in the eye.
Hi Mariza damn man that’s awesome that you’re clean 7 months. I’m literally teary eyed for you while I’m in a truck full of guys coming home from work. I totally understand what you mean about having a reservation especially after everything is takin care of legally. Ill be honest with you I see many do exactly what you’re terrified of happening. All I can do is tell you what works for me coming from a habitual relapser, and now recovering at 50 days. Id suggest hitting N.A. meetings, and getting a sponsor. It’s uncomfortable at first but man I don’t know where I’d be without the guidance of my sponsor man I love him. I’m also working steps and I’m more than satisfied with my life in this moment. Also always expecting possible life on lifes terms to happen that’s why Im active in my recovery even while out of town for work. I read the literature, stay connected to other addicts/alcoholics, and come to this forum. One things for sure man the end result will not be good all you’re misery will be refunded guarantee. There’s nothing left for you in that life. Enjoy you’re new found freedom, stay grateful, and keep the reason why you stopped at the forefront of you’re mind always. I wish you the best sis. Stay blessed in recovery 
I also am getting choked up over here man lol GEEZ!
thanks 4 taking the time to read about me and leave a message i appreciate you & your words congrats on the 50 days that’s awesome! Badass of you to keep trying that’s inspiring to me and it just shows how strong u really are. Keep on keeping on brother, Goodluck!
I’ve definitely learned a ton about myself & what helpful tools i can use to get me through the hard days. I have the right kind of support now to help me with this sobriety stuff. I also feel more prepared and have a lot more of my confidence back, I just got to remember we DO recover and we CAN overcome the hard s***!
Oh that’s so awesome. You’ve really got a great support system you are setting up. And I’m so glad you found TS.
I agree everyone’s been awesome so far(:
I am not familiar with meth itself, but I am familiar with the emotions of dealing with the end of court ordered treatement.
I actually joined TS right after I got my DUI case settled. I had a breathalizer thing in my car for six months and felt like the biggest numbnuts loser in town. As time got closer to getting it removed I went back and forth on moderation vs. sobriety. I obviously chose sobriety and think you should too.
Right on best decision ever huh? Proud of you! I will also choose sobriety(:
Get a support group. Get a service commitment of some kind that helps you remain accountable. Go to beginner meetings. Keep sharing with brutal honesty. Good job on 7 months.
Thank you!(: