So im 40 days sober its around this time usually i think im ok and try and drink in moderation but this time i no i cant , the thing is i run my own business and things are really busy so not had day off last few weeks also im training for a walking challenge so am active alot during downtime.so the problem is i woke up yesterday and felt down and thoughts started creeping in about the future and stuff as im also seperated from my wife ive been thinking how will i face dating without my “friend” alcohol to overcome my shyness i also used to drink to deal with stress or turn my thoughts off for a while, so i suppose im just struggling at minute. On one hand i feel i should rest and on other i feel im letting people down if i do and all these things used to be solved, well i thought solved with drink but im desperate not to go back.
not sure what im after just felt i needed to get it out my head lol
Nope. You said it yourself that 40 days is always the time you start to think you can moderate. This time you are telling yourself you can’t. So all these thoughts creeping in about stress, dating, anxiety, etc. are your addict brain’s siren call to pick up ‘just one.’ And you’re getting a pile up of thinking, one thing after the next, because addict brain is trying to overcome sober brain and tip the scales so that ‘just one’ goes down, and then you’re back in the cycle you worked for 40 days to break. It is not worth it. Drinking has never and will never improve anything. Keep running your business, contemplate a nice sober date and the future, but start seeing yourself sober as you do all of it because you know full well alcohol will ruin it all for you. You are not struggling. Addict brain is trying to make you think that way. There is no struggle when you know exactly what you need to do. Addict brain is trying to make you think there is struggle so you open that door again, even just a wee bit. Lock it, friend. And right now is the time for more tools to keep it closed. It’s game time.
This comment 
Game plan building blocks:
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
Brilliant!
Thanks everyone got me through another day and woke up sober today . I was meant to work today but decided to take it off and have some me time in the sunshine ( dont happen often in uk lol ) gonna go for a walk read my book and remember everything good about not having a hangover which i would of had if i had given into my addicts brain.
Thanks again and hope u all have a lovely day stay strong and keep on track 
Good for you! Each time you make a choice to not drink, the connections in your brain that associate any stress with picking up get a little weaker.
Personally i think your looking way too far ahead with the dating etc etc, stay in the one day at a time mentality for now and work on your sobriety and self esteem…by doing that ive found that as you go along your sober journey youl gain more confidence in time, i wouldnt even think about dating until youve taken the time you need to get better within yourself and your sobriety
Keep going! 40 days is a long time but I’m positive that you can keep it up!
Meditation is something I want to start working on to ease my mind a bit when I’m getting stressed. Starting something like that is always easier said than done. But I suppose “getting sober” is along the same lines as that- AND YOU DID IT!!! you got this✨
Yes i agree ive said that im not bothered about it and am working on me its just when your low thoughts run through your mind about the future and stuff i guess its hard not to contemplate what life will be like. But yes need to concentrate on 1 day at a time 
Yeah ive liked meditation since my first time in rehab also sound therapy but cant find anywhere that does that near me 
Hey Chris 
I happened to mention yesterday on here that I never saw myself as someone who journals or keeps a diary of sorts, but I do now. It’s such an asset to be able to go back and read those thoughts at the beginning. Is journaling something you’d consider? If I even feel remotely tempted, I read over my entries of the early days of sobriety and turn myself right off having a drink. It really works 
For example (and I hope you don’t mind!), But I pulled this part-post of yours:
“.…it was my wifes opinion of me when i was drunk but recently family members and other friends told me how bad i was , i cringe now being sober at the thought of offending anyone or of them being fearful of me but its what i needed to accept i have an alcohol problem, 1 is never enough enough was passing out or worse and now i can see all that and vow not to have that first 1”
Don’t get complacent about your sobriety because your days are racking up, today is just as important as your day 1. Always keep in mind your 'why’s, and the positive reasons why sobriety has been good for you. You’re slipping into the mindset again that alcohol gives you something good, it really doesn’t. You only have to look at your original reasons for giving up to see that. I’ll bet you have been more productive at work, and it’s less of a struggle than when you were hungover. Right?
It might be a little soon for sober dating, but when the time comes, you will manage it. Just don’t big it up in your head. It’s really nice just enjoying someone’s company while sober. And I don’t want to say anything too X-rated… But something else is much better too 
Don’t jump ahead of yourself. Give yourself some more time. You clearly need more time to work on your sobriety if you still feel alcohol is of any value to you. Sober dates etc get easier, you’ll become more confident and you’ll realise you never needed drink just to have a conversation with someone.
Anyway, keep checking in, and remember your 'whys’s! 
I absolutely get it, i ruminate myself but i find it helpful to remember what a therapist once taught me and thats that any future thoughts really are pretty much fictional because in the future you never really know how youl react to things because things may have changed and you might have changed so work on yourself today and take the future as it comes
Spot on!!! This is gold! 
