After I drink, my resolve to quit lasts for about 3-4 days and then I go into autopilot and drink again. I have been attending meetings, watching bill and reading about sobriety, journaling, doing affirmations……and none of it seems to be working. I have locked away my cards so I can’t get access to money, but I figured out how to get cash. I am exhausted and frankly, scared. What worked for you? What more can I do?
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Are there particular times of the day when you start drinking? I always had as many meetings as I needed booked at those challenging times. You have to pick up the phone before you drink, find other ways to fill up time when you were drinking. Rehab would be a great option to allow you to reset. I do local AA and online meetings with The Luckiest Club.
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For me, in the beginning…I lived here…the time I spent drinking, I spent here. I also changed my life style. I changed people, places and things…if it had anything to do with alcohol…it was gone.
I filled my life with sober things…I did every chore I could think of. Taught myself how to scratch cook. Reserved time to research everything alcoholism related.
The biggest thing was changing my life style…
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If you really want it and have the desire and make the effort thats what i did and it worked , maybe try a sponsor or someone you can phone when you feel like picking up a drink , you have to be the one who decides that you really want to stop mindset change , i wish you well
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The accomplishment of any task, or the achievement of any goal requires two things: the WILL to do so, and the MEANS to do so. Of these two, the WILL is superior, because if it is lacking, having the MEANS is irrelevant.
You must find the resolve, or the will to not drink, if your goal is to he sober. The means or resources available to you are many, be they meetings, counseling, this forum or some other tangible aid in helping to stay on track, but absent the will, all these resources are useless.
What I can tell you is the longer you exercise your will not to take a drink, the stronger that will become. It may not seem so on day 3-4, because this is when your psychological and physiological withdrawal symptoms tend to peak, the coming days will get easier, you’ve become stronger.
You make your resolve last, by resolving to never drink again, and consistently exercise your will not to. Simple. Not easy. Just simple.
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Go to more meetings, here are 2 zoom codes far AA & NA, everytime you feel vulnerable day or night 24 /7 you have now got a place you can go. No excuses. Get a sponsor, if your male from the UK I’m free atm.
Mainly though just keep trying but keep trying new things bc the seed has been sown, you do want to stop, that seed will grow, just add water and love.
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The replies here have some great suggestions. I’m pulling for you. I distracted myself with other activities and meetings, of course. You can do this! 
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Gratitude works for me. Every day. Right here.
Sometimes twice a day. I got so much more to be grateful for when I’m sober. And I write that down every single ODAAT and sometimes at night if I’m struggling.
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I used Antabuse effectively. Also getting arrested and having to prove my sobriety daily.
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What is an ODAAT?
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Thanks for the offer—I am not a male from the UK unfortunately. How do I get a sponsor? Do I have to be in AA?
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The life I try to lead.
One day at a time.
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ODAAT is one day at a time. We can’t change our past transgressions and the future isn’t here yet. We just live in the present.
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About finding a sponsor
I was the same.
I knew I had a problem, for years. And for years I would say “never again” after a bad hangover. 3 or 4 days later, when I felt better, I’d convince myself to drink again.
This lasted for years. I couldn’t quit because I wouldn’t quit. I wouldn’t quit because I didn’t want to.
There’s a big difference between knowing you have a problem and deciding to do something about it. I knew but I wasn’t interested in really doing anything about it.
Finally, after several years on this quit/drink/quit seesaw, I woke up and decided to really try.
I became active in this community and changed my relationship with alcohol: Change your Relationship with Alcohol
I took it one day at a time. Built a sober network, picked up coping tools, learned about myself and why I drink. Eventually days turned to weeks, weeks into months and months into years. One day at a time.
In my case, I wasn’t able to achieve sobriety until I really wanted to.
Give it time.
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Try a few meetings and if you click with someone then reach out. None of us will be offended if it doesn’t work out bc we only want you to stay sober so keep trying until your 100% comfortable with them. They will only want you to be honest and willing, listen to what they say the rest is up to you.
Great advice, great people. What worked for me, what led to my “click” was a residential inpatient treatment center. I got the opportunity to go somewhere where I could devote my attention full-time to relearning how to live. Without any substance. I spent 28 days sheltered from all the things, places, people that were influencing my addiction and got a chance to reset my one constant; ME.
Day 9 I had a huge paradigm shift that has led me to a life that I finally resonate with. That massive dissonance I’ve felt most of my life is what had kept me drinking and using and I needed some time away to sort my guts out. For me, this time away was invaluable and priceless. Best thing I have ever done for myself, or my daughters.
Best wishes sorting out what is going to work for you. You’ll get out what you put in. 
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Hi, Ivy. How are you doing today? If you feel exhausted, have you considered getting an assessment from a substance use disorder professional who is also experienced in comorbid disorders? That means they can at least spot or do some testing for co-occurring mental health disorders. It does sound like you may be struggling with a co-occurring mental health disorder and you may need some services for that as well as for your substance use disorder. The struggles you are describing can feel discouraging and a professional assessment can give you a road map for success.
I also agree with the replies about how to get a sponsor and attending AA meetings. I have attended both AA and CA meetings since I got out of inpatient treatment in 1994. My advice is “shop around”. There are meetings everywhere and you can find something you like. Part of it is learning to be open minded and tolerant of other persons who are not like you and do not have your views, and part of it is finding content that, based on a solid recovery program from your treatment, if you get into treatment, you can plug into at the meetings. Have some goals for getting well and have a compass for your direction for success.
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Hi, Heather. Thank for the advice. I am doing well. I have been listening to “Atomic Habits” and it is giving me a lot of I sight i to my autopilot. I do see a therapist and am active in my recovery. I am still interested in finding an accountability partner. But, I only attend meetings online, so I need to find someone. Thanks again for checking on me!