That should help. I know for me the biggest shift in my sobriety happened when I gave up trying to do it on my own: I got “the gift of desperation” - that point where I was willing to try whatever it took to move forward and stay sober.
It’s been an up and down year for you - there’s been a cycle:
See a pattern? So many of us have been there. You are not alone.
The good news is you never have to feel this way again. There’s some good resources & meetings here:
Take care Linda and never give up. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you feel comfortable with yourself. You deserve to be happy with yourself - and you can be.
So many of us have been there. You are not alone.